


Game Changer

by nowforruin



Category: Covert Affairs
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-17
Updated: 2012-11-17
Packaged: 2017-11-18 21:51:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 47,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/565671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nowforruin/pseuds/nowforruin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A letter never sent is still a letter written. When Annie finds herself on desk duty following a botched assignment, can the words stay unspoken? AxA. Spoilers through the end of Season 2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Our Lies Tell The Story

**Author's Note:**

> Covert Affairs is not mine. This was written preseason 3, and my version of one way things could have gone.

1.  In Which Our Lies Tell The Story

* * *

 

Annie Walker was restless.

In the relative quiet of her sister’s Georgetown backyard, the hustle and bustle of the vibrant city offered no distraction. Sure, she could go down to Allen’s, listen to the band play, throw back a few rounds with her coworkers, but that wasn’t the itch she wanted to scratch. She wanted excitement, her pulse throbbing in her ears, or the deep contentment that came with a pristine sunset in a far-flung locale. Georgetown, with its quaint brick buildings and colonial charm, just wasn’t getting her there.

The trouble was that Georgetown was where she was unceremoniously stuck. Sure, there was the daily drive in and out of Virginia, but that was a straight path to and from Langley. Joan had been very specific in her orders to lay low. No high profile missions – in fact, not so much as a simple intel drop until chatter died down.

Annie chafed at the command. So her last mission hadn’t gone off as well as she would have liked. So she had caused a scene in central London. So Joan had had to go to bat with the seventh floor suits to lean on their MI-6 contacts to smooth things over. It wasn’t Annie’s fault. If Joan hadn’t saddled her with that new tech guy, if she had just _listened_ to Annie’s request to speak to Auggie when things had begun to head south, well then maybe she wouldn’t have ended up running barefoot from a proper disaster in the middle of Oxford Circle.

Glaring out at the warm summer night from her spot on the guest house stairs, Annie downed another few gulps of her beer. In the main house, she could make out Danielle and the girls. Michael was off on yet another business trip. It seemed he traveled almost as much as Annie these days, but there was nothing suspicious there. Michael wasn’t smart enough to be a spy, and Annie knew it. In fact, Annie knew more about Michael’s extra travel plans than she wished to. She was trained to read people, and Michael wasn’t all that careful. If only Danielle would start to look... but it wasn’t Annie’s place to blow up her sister’s marriage. Danielle knew there had been “indiscretions” as she had called them, but she wanted to believe Michael had changed. Who was Annie to ruin that for her?

For Danielle’s sake, Annie would stick to being in the middle of a sordid mess across the ocean. Running barefoot from an explosion definitely won over sisterly interference.

Annie had considered talking to her sister about her problem, but brushed the urge off. Reading Danielle in had been bad enough, as had the months she had lived in her safe house. While her sister had accepted Annie’s preference for a job with whizzing bullets, it didn’t mean she liked it. It wasn’t like Annie could tell her everything anyway. The half-truths would probably only piss Danielle off more, and they were finally back to a good place together. Annie was sleeping in a real bed again, with access to her sister’s five-star kitchen. Returning to her futon didn’t sound all that appealing. 

So it was that Annie found herself wearing yoga pants and drinking beer alone on her steps. The morning would bring yet another stack of paperwork, translations Joan piled anew each day. Annie knew full well there was a team of translators with security clearances seriously above her pay grade, and every time Joan brought her another boring assignment, she wanted to scream.

Joan wanted her to lay low to keep her safe, but in a rare moment of pique, Annie wondered since when did the agency give a damn about her safety? There were still missions that needed doing, and Annie was still a damn good spy. So London had been a bust. It was one mission. What about the dozens of other missions over the years? Didn’t that mean something?

Frustrated, Annie blew out a rush of air that was half a sigh, half a huff. She needed a distraction, but what was there to do? In that past, she could call Auggie and talk his ear off about whatever agency issues were eating her, but he was on board with Joan’s insistence Annie keep to DC for the time being. That only pissed Annie off more – of all people, shouldn’t Auggie understand her frustration at being banned from the field? If he did, he was burying it under lackluster attempts to convince her it was time for a break. When he wasn’t busying doing that, he was lost in his own thoughts. Talking to Auggie was out.

Not that Auggie had exactly been easy to talk to lately. He hadn’t talked about her much, but Annie knew about his trip to Africa to see Parker. With a wince, she recalled how quickly Auggie had returned to DC. He hadn’t been the same since, not that she could get him to admit to it. He made the same jokes and adopted the same easy manner as always, but his smiles no longer reached his eyes. In empty hallways and on late nights, when he must have assumed no one was looking, Annie had seen the mask drop off. The emotions on his face in those moments scared her.

Annie knew Auggie’s story better than anyone else at the agency. Gifted operative, impressive Special Forces soldier. She knew how it had all come to a horrific ending, the IED in Iraq, the years it had taken him to recover some semblance of who he had been. But she had also been with him when few others had, in crowded public places where his frustration escaped in quick glimpses at the struggle she knew it was for him to go through each day without his sight.

Sitting on the hood of his car that day after she had returned from Stockholm, Annie had been ready to lay it all out on the table. Danielle’s soft push had forced her to examine her feelings for the man, and Annie had been shocked to find how deep they ran. At the Farm, they had been big on compartmentalizing any detail that could interfere with the mission. Annie wondered if that was what she had done over the years with Auggie. Every feeling that had burst to the surface had been much too deep to dismiss as a new infatuation.

There had been a spark that first day, but they were coworkers, and then they were friends. Best friends. Auggie was the voice in her ear keeping her alive in the field. There was a neat niche in her brain for places in her life Auggie could be – and those he couldn’t. Danielle, in her one simple comment on Annie’s voice, had changed all that.

_I might not be a spy like you, but your voice changes when you talk to him._

The words echoed in Annie’s mind as she downed the last of her beer and leaned back on her elbows to stare up at the night sky. If only that conversation had happened; if only Annie had told Auggie how she felt about him before he went running off to Africa.

But would that have changed anything? Auggie hated depending on anyone, but to travel to Parker’s remote location, he had to have needed help along the way. Airline travel was a personal thorn in his side, but he was willing to fly halfway around the world for Parker. Auggie, womanizing Auggie, was willing to do that for one girl. Who was Annie to try to stop him? It had pissed her off that he wasn’t there for her, but even in that moment she had known jealousy for what it was. 

So she had swallowed her feelings and driven away in the car he had given her. Hands gripping the smooth, worn leather of the steering wheel, she had carefully navigated out of DC and into the Maryland countryside. In the middle of the open fields and horse pastures, she had floored it until the sound of the engine and the wind drowned out her tears. And when she was all cried out, she had given herself a very firm glare in the mirror and put it all away, just like when she’d had to move as a kid. 

Or at least, she told herself that’s what she was going to do. But everything that had once so easily been locked up in her mind refused to go back behind the wall. Annie went back to work, and Auggie came back from Africa, but there was a distance between them that hadn’t been there before. At first, they still went on coffee runs together, and there were still the after work drinks at Allen’s, but in Annie’s mind, Auggie’s hand on her elbow wasn’t as easy anymore. He used the laser cane instead of taking her arm more often than not, and though she tried to ignore it, that stung. They found themselves talking about work when they went out, or the god damned weather. They had become strangers to one another.

She knew it wasn’t fair to be angry with him. He couldn’t possibly have known how her heart was breaking that day on the roof of the parking garage while he had joked about hearing her smile. It wasn’t Auggie’s fault that Annie had come to realize her feelings too late. It wasn’t his fault that he’d had a plane to catch when Annie had wanted nothing more than to talk to him until the crushing cloud of gloom had lifted from her heart.

Even now, months later in her sister’s backyard, if Annie closed her eyes she could still see the flash of Danielle’s red coat, hear the bang of the shots, smell that acrid burning...nothing quite compared to the stench of gunpowder. Or the lifeless gaze of a man whose life you had ended.

She’d known on signing up that the day would come – all those lessons at the Farm on weapons training hadn’t just been for show. Annie was trained to be deadly, and that day she had saved her sister’s life. Maybe her own. She had acted and it had been the right thing to do. The thug in Sweden had not been the first whose life she would take in the line of duty. It was a sobering reality. At the Farm, they had talked about compartmentalizing, about remembering all the reasons why she was doing a good thing, but even in her shrink visits, the words rang hollow. She had known being in the CIA came with a body count, but she hadn’t been ready for it. Annie doubted there was any way to really be ready to take a man’s life.

Joan had even offered a rare moment of praise upon her return. So though protocol had sent her through a number of evaluations and appointments with the shrink, she’d been quickly cleared to go back in the field, so back into the field she’d gone. Up until the disaster in London, Annie had thought Stockholm was firmly behind her.

Funny how a building going up in a fireball could put a damper on things so easily.

Annie sighed, forcing herself up and off the stairs. She had a long day of busy work ahead of her in the office. After Stockholm, she had done such a good job of keeping her head down, staying on book, and not pissing off Joan. London had ruined all of that progress, but Annie was determined to get back on track. She needed to get back into the field before the tension with Auggie made her crazy.

But instead of sleep, the nightmares returned. Annie wasn’t foolish enough to think shooting a man would come without consequences, but it had been months. She had successfully gone back into the field. She had talked to the shrink. It had helped, but ultimately, not enough to make the dreams stop.

What she wanted more than anything was to talk to Auggie. The company doctor was nice enough, but Annie couldn’t force herself to let her guard down with him. She wanted her best friend. She wanted the ex Special Forces solider who had been through this particular hell himself. Annie liked the doctor just fine, but all the medical training in the world wasn’t preparation for how heavy that gun had felt in her hand after pulling the trigger. Auggie would understand. Auggie would help her find her way back to herself.

But that wasn’t an option. Her fumbling attempt at bringing the topic up with him had ended just as quickly that day on the roof. Auggie’s dismissive suggestion that she talk to the shrink still stung. Even when she had tried to explain, he had changed the topic. Too caught up in his own thoughts, he had completely missed the boat with her that day. Annie couldn’t remember a time Auggie had ever gotten it so wrong. As much as she knew it wasn’t entirely fair, it really pissed her off. Auggie went through women like water. What had been so special about Parker that he hadn’t been able to take five minutes for his best friend?

Or perhaps it was worse than that. Perhaps Auggie had never really seen Annie as anything other than one of his rotating harem and finally given up on getting into her pants. Annie didn’t want to think that lowly of him, and deep down she knew it wasn’t fair, but the mere possibility only fueled her anger. 

Annie’s rage kept her from spiraling, and so she clung to it. The combined lack of sleep and stir-craziness was making for a short fuse. She wanted to turn off her alarm, go back to sleep, and forget all about Stockholm and everything that had come after.

But that wasn’t an option. Annie forced herself out of bed and into the office. Once there, she made a beeline for her desk and started in on the latest stack of classifieds out of Moscow.

It wasn’t long before Auggie stopped by her desk, a puzzled expression on his face. “You avoiding me, Walker?” he asked lightly, crossing his arms and leaning against her desk. “No coffee love for your buddy Auggie anymore?”

Annie fought the urge to be snide, reminding herself that Auggie hadn’t done anything to deserve her bad mood. Not lately, anyway. “I’ve been here,” was all she offered in reply. She didn’t want to get into it with him under the watchful eye of the DPD. In her fatigue from her poor sleep, she had simply forgotten to grab Auggie’s coffee like she usually did.

“I’m heading down to grab one. Care to join me?”

“I just went a little while ago, thanks.”

Auggie’s eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement, but he went without her. Annie wasn’t about to explain herself. He was a perceptive man. Let him figure it out. She willfully ignored the exhaustion etched into his features. If he wanted to talk to her about it, he would. But he hadn’t offered, and Annie was not about to ask. That would violate their newfound inability to discuss anything more personal than what they wanted for lunch. 

Even months later, it still hurt that Auggie was shutting her out. He was the first person to get truly close to her, closer than any of the men she’d dated – in some ways, almost closer than her sister – but when it came down to it, Annie was going to have to find a way to put him behind her like everyone else. The walls she had so carefully built up around herself had kept her safe for years, but somehow Auggie had managed to weasel his way in. Fat lot of good that had done her. 

But walking out to the parking lot that night, it seemed Auggie wasn’t quite ready to let it go. “I gotta give it to you, Walker, you’re doing a fine job staying out of trouble,” he commented. “You wouldn’t be trying to lull me into a false sense of security or anything like that, would you?” His voice was light, and the grin he wore friendly. Annie heaved an internal sigh, wondering to herself how it had been so easy to drive space between them. It wasn’t so long ago she would have had a snappy response ready, but that night, she didn’t have the energy for a verbal sparring match.

“Nah, nothing like that.”Annie offered Auggie her arm, surprised when he took it. It had been a long time since she had lead him around. “Just trying to keep my sister from having a heart attack.”

“How is Danielle?”

“Good,” Annie answered after a beat. Auggie hadn’t asked about her family in a long time, either. “Girls are good. Michael is...not. But that’s nothing new.”

“Sorry to hear it.”

“Don’t be. Danielle is strong. She’ll be okay.”

There was an awkward silence as they arrived at Annie’s car. Annie wanted to scream. They were still having a conversation like two strangers making awkward small talk, regardless of Auggie seemingly making an effort by asking about her family. How had this happened?

“So, Allen’s? You up for it?” Auggie’s expression was all cool confidence, but Annie could see a hint of hesitation lurking in his eyes. He had noticed her stilted reaction, but he wasn’t saying anything. This from a man who had once followed her into a ladies bathroom, determined to get to the bottom of her unhappiness.

“Sorry, Auggie. I promised Danielle I’d help her make cupcakes for Katia’s bake sale. She’ll kill me if I show up late from a bar.” The lie came easily. This was what she had trained herself to do – lie under pressure. It helped that Auggie couldn’t see the uneasy look on her face or the fact that her eyes were empty of emotion. “I’ll drop you off on my way though. Get in.”

Annie kept the volume up on the radio during the drive in from Virginia, determined not to get sucked into a conversation with him. With her dark mood, it could only end one way, and that wasn’t fair to Auggie. He went along with it, somehow seeming to sense that it wasn’t the night to push her.

Getting out of the car, he turned back to lean in through her open passenger’s window. “I’ll be here if you change your mind.”

“Have fun,” she called as she put the car in gear and drove away. She knew he would be there – with some woman hanging off his arm he was sure to take home. Parker had put a damper on things for awhile, but Auggie was back up to his old tricks. Annie, in her charitable moments, figured it was his version of a rebound, but she was tired of being the wingman and she was tired of being charitable.

 Annie didn’t return to the bar.

Of course, after congratulating herself on a successful evasion of an awkward night out, Annie could have slapped herself the next morning for being too tired to pay attention.

“According to the news, Georgetown didn’t burn down overnight so the baking must have gone well,” Auggie said by way of greeting as she dropped off coffee for his team. “Bring me anything?”

“Huh?”

“The bake sale...”

“Oh! Right! No, Danielle, you know how she is. Everything went to the school.” Annie laughed, trying to cover her lie and flaming cheeks. Auggie frowned, but didn’t say anything. When he turned for his office without another word, Annie was certain he was too angry to speak to her.

Being the new kid, staying observant had helped her land on her feet her entire life. So much of what she did these days included watching, waiting, and she had been trained to hone those skills. She was used to it. But door watching, as it turned out, was far less interesting than people watching.

Auggie didn’t leave the Tech Ops room the rest of the day. Annie had been hoping to catch him in the hall, to apologize for the lie he had obviously caught her in, but no such luck was to be found.

There were no further invites to Allen’s that week. If anything, Auggie seemed decidedly cooler toward her. Even their awkward, polite conversation dwindled to a forced greeting in the morning.

Chafing at the restriction from Joan and more hurt than ever by Auggie’s behavior, Annie threw herself into work. She showed up early and stayed late. She didn’t go off book and piss off Joan. She read intel reports, listened to crazies on walk-in duty, and scoured international classifieds for coded messages. When red flags popped up, she sent them up the chain and then let them go.

In short, she did everything she could to be the model servant of bureaucracy.

She didn’t joke with Auggie in the halls. She didn’t bring him – or his team – coffee. She worked through her lunch, spending exactly ten hours at her desk before returning to Georgetown. Her casual greetings ceased. If she could just manage to force herself to stop looking in Auggie’s direction several times an hour, she figured in another few months she would be entirely over the betrayal of his friendship. 

For his part, Auggie didn’t quite know what he had done to piss Annie off, but he knew it had been something. He was blind, yes, but he had been a perceptive man even before the accident. His experiences with women, and with Annie in particular, had clued him in big time that she was upset with him.

The problem was that he had no idea how to fix it. Most of the time, the women he slept with didn’t have a reason to be angry with him. He was honest from the start that he wasn’t looking for anything serious, and the ones who didn’t leave at that point knew what he was willing to give and what he wasn’t. When there were disagreements, he either simply walked away or used his charms to make the problem go away.

But Annie wasn’t someone he could walk away from, nor could he flirt his way out of it. Her silence ate at him, but what was he supposed to do? He knew things had been strained between them since her return from Stockholm and his trip to Africa. He had tried, inviting her to Allen’s, but she had lied to him instead of agreeing. Auggie was the one person Annie never lied to...or at least he had been. What had he done that had warranted it?

His anger kept him stubborn enough to let Annie grow further and further from him. The first member of his team to remark on her unusual absence had been treated to a tongue lashing on minding his own business Auggie hadn’t seen fit to deliver in years. Ops were run with the sort of quiet, tense precision that had marked most of Auggie’s life in the days before Annie Walker had come waltzing through the doors, but he wasn’t ready to admit how badly he had come to rely on her. Losing Parker had been bad enough. He couldn’t process Annie being gone too.

Besides, she wasn’t really gone. Auggie could smell her perfume in the air, practically sense the hostility exuding from her desk, but he kept quiet. Annie would come around in her own time. He was determined to let her work through her issues before he bothered her. It was safer that way.

In the back of his head, a tiny voice protested that Auggie Anderson never took the easy way out, but he simply turned the music up a little louder.

 


	2. In Which Our Words Say Não But Our Voices Say Sim

2\. In Which Our Words Say _Não_ But Our Voices Say _Sim_

* * *

“Annie, my office.”

Joan’s summons startled Annie from her work. Across her desk, she had lined up three weeks worth of Russian classifieds and was beginning to think she detected a pattern, in spite of everyone else’s insistence she would find nothing. It was either that or the men in Moscow had some particularly disgusting tastes in escorts.

Putting down her pen, Annie smoothed down her skirt and made her way into Joan’s office. Auggie was already sitting in one of the chairs, while Jai Wilcox stood beside Joan’s desk. Wondering what had managed to drag him downstairs from his shiny new office, Annie took a seat in the open chair. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be too good. Auggie’s glare could cut glass, while Joan was sitting up so straight, her spine could have been made of steel.

“Annie, you and Auggie are going on loan to Jai this afternoon. His office has been working on rooting out a cell in Rio. We need your skills with Portuguese. Jai requested you specifically.” Annie met Joan’s gaze, witnessing the barely controlled rage. If there was one thing she knew Joan hated, it was being told what to do with her people. The protest died on Annie’s lips. If Joan hadn’t won the argument, Annie sure as hell wasn’t going to, either. She didn’t particularly want to work with Auggie on anything at the moment, but if it got her out of Langley, all the better.

“Where are we going?”

It was Auggie who answered. “Funny, Walker. Did you think these two would let either of us out into the field?” The old bitterness was back. “Jai’s coming to Tech Ops to teach us a lesson in sliminess. Much cheaper than moving my equipment to his lair on the seventh floor.”

“We think the cell is attempting to smuggle information out buried in audio files. Auggie is going to isolate the transmissions from the background noise we believe is being used to conceal what they’re really trying to get out. You’re going to tell us what they’re saying.” That Joan didn’t bother to curb Auggie’s surliness only spoke further about her opinion on the matter.

“Can’t you just send me a sound file to listen to when you’re done?”

“It will be faster if you listen in real time. Because you can pick out words, having you present will help Auggie’s work.”

“It should only take a few hours,” Joan said after a moment, flashing an icy smile that was all politics at Jai. “Any other questions? Good.”

Annie got to her feet, pausing to see if Auggie would take her arm. When he instead pulled out the laser cane, Annie couldn’t help but roll her eyes. She stomped after Jai all the way back to Auggie’s desk, the Tech Ops room empty of the usual team. Whatever they were doing, it wasn’t for an audience.

Auggie took his seat without a word, leaving Annie and Jai standing awkwardly near his desk. With a forced smile, Jai wheeled over two of the unused desk chairs, offering one to Annie before taking his own seat. He found it strange that the usually talkative agents were silent, but Jai didn’t really care if Auggie was in a bad mood. He had gotten what he wanted – the chance to spend time with Annie. His advances hadn’t gotten him anywhere in the past, but now that his life was less complicated, he figured it was worth another shot. By the end of the afternoon, he fully intended to ask her for drinks after work. If she wasn’t speaking to Anderson, even better. Jai didn’t particularly care why Annie accepted his offer. He was confident that with some time, now that she was over Mercer, he could get her to fall for him. The office rumor mill had been on about her and Anderson for years, but given their icy silence, he sincerely doubted there was any truth to it. Besides, Jai couldn’t fathom a contest he could lose against a blind man when it came to women. 

Without warning, music began to pulse through the room, loud with a driving beat. Annie jumped, unable to stop herself from laughing at the look on Jai’s face. Auggie had the volume up high, which neither of them had expected. Annie sighed at the music, a woman’s voice singing a haunting melody over the beat. There was longing in that voice, and that was something she was all too familiar with.

“You can get rid of her voice. She’s singing about a flower floating down a river...unless you think that’s code for something?”

“No,” Jai answered smoothly, watching Annie watch Auggie’s fingers fly over the Braille reader. “We’ve already established the singer isn’t a part of this. She’s fairly young and just starting out. She thinks she landed her big break.”

“She had a beautiful voice,” Annie murmured, turning her attention back to the music as Auggie made adjustments.

Joan had been right. The project didn’t take long, and once the percussion and singing had been muted, Annie had been able to pick up the hidden communication. It wasn’t a particularly sophisticated method of sending information, but Brazil had plenty of criminals clawing their way out of the local _favelas_ with little money to spend on more advanced methods of intelligence smuggling. Even the criminals had to start somewhere.

“Thanks, Annie.” Jai flashed his infamous smile at her as she handed over her notes, Auggie still silent in his seat. “You were a big help.”

“You’re welcome. But I’m sure you didn’t need me. The agency has plenty of people who speak Portuguese.”

“True. But you’re my favorite.”

Annie couldn’t help but laugh. From the expression on Jai’s face, she knew he was playing it up for her benefit. Still, it had been awhile since she had laughed at work. It felt good.

“No need to laugh! I’ll prove it to you. Buy you a drink at Allen’s tonight?”

“Yeah, sure,” Annie agreed, figuring it couldn’t hurt. “I was planning to leave in another hour or so.”

“I’ll see you there.” Jai offered up another of his grins, lightly laying a hand on Annie’s shoulder as he passed, headed back for his office.

“Sure you don’t have cupcakes to make tonight?” Auggie asked, sliding the headphones down around his neck and glaring in Annie’s general direction. The venom in his tone shocked her. “Wouldn’t want to upset your sister, after all.”

“I don’t have any plans tonight beyond the bar. Sorry to disappoint.”

“Little late for that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Annie shot back, her temper flaring. She didn’t like this sarcastic, biting version of Auggie. It didn’t suit him.

“Jai sold out his own father to get ahead, you do realize that?”

“I don’t see what that has to do with offering to buy me a beer. He’s just being nice.”

“Don’t be so naïve.”

“Why do you even care?”

There was a pause, and Auggie turned away. He reached for his headphones, pulling them back up. “I don’t,” he finally said, beginning to type once more. “Shut the door on your way out.”

Annie stood rooted to her spot for a long moment, her mouth agape at his behavior. Sure, she had heard about this from others in the office, Auggie’s infamous temper and tendency to act like a real dick on occasion, but she hadn’t really believed them. Auggie had never been anything other than mild-mannered in front of her, always ready with a smile even when things were falling apart. The brooding man she faced was a stranger.

She turned and left without another word, her heels loud on the marble floor. There was a time when she would have insisted on an explanation, would have stayed until Auggie finally told her what was eating him, but she didn’t have the energy to yell at a brick wall. It wasn’t that she didn’t want things back to normal between them, or at least back to civil, but mending fences with Auggie meant revisiting all of her feelings for the man. She wasn’t ready for that. What she wanted was for Joan to send her back out into the field, where she could forget all about Auggie Anderson for awhile. Being that the field was still forbidden for the time being, Annie would settle for a drink with Jai. She needed a distraction, and he was offering.

Jai was already at the bar when she arrived, shirt sleeves rolled up and jacket resting on his chair. With his loosened tie and tousled hair, he could have been shilling anything from beer to cologne. His attractiveness had never been lost on Annie, but she knew too much about the man he really was to fall for it. Auggie had been right – Jai was the kind of man who sold out his own family for a big office with a leather chair. Annie knew all too well how duplicitous Jai could be and wouldn’t soon forget it.

But that simply meant Annie wasn’t about to invite him into her personal life or her bed. It didn’t mean she couldn’t find a way to get along with him. They were coworkers, after all, and Jai _had_ saved Annie’s life. She didn’t exactly trust him, especially not after everything he had hidden from her about Ben, but he could make her laugh. Annie needed the laugh almost as much as the beer.

They fell into easy conversation. Jai was athletic like Annie, and they shared enough of the same hobbies that they kept up a steady stream of chatter, first on this cliff face, and then on that hiking trail. Annie figured as long as they didn’t talk about work, they would get along just fine. And by her third beer, she had finally started to relax. Auggie hadn’t shown up to spoil her night, and Jai was being even more charming than usual. Maybe Annie needed a rebound too, someone to take her mind off Auggie. Who better than a man he despised?

The idea lingered in her thoughts only long enough to catch a glimpse of Auggie walking into the bar, yet another gorgeous woman on his arm. Annie sighed, tearing her eyes away from the leggy brunette and back to her beer. Who was she kidding? She didn’t want some rebound. She just wanted Auggie.

Jai noticed the instant change in Annie’s demeanor and heaved an internal sigh. He had felt her warming to him, the way her smiles had almost seemed like the old Annie Walker once more. All it had taken was Anderson walking into the bar to ruin that. Now Annie was staring at her beer with a murderous expression.

“Annie...”

Her head shot up, a smile quickly put in place, but it was the new smile – the one that didn’t quite reach her eyes and looked like it was plastered on by a kindergartener. “Sorry, spaced out for a second.”

“You should talk to him.”

“To who?”

“Very funny, Annie.” Jai leaned back in his chair, his gaze flickering from the girl in front of him to where Auggie stood across the bar with his date. Jai had known the man a long time, and a beautiful woman on his arm was nothing new, before and after the accident. But there was more to it that night, and Jai had a very strong feeling it had everything to do with the expression on Annie’s face.

“There’s nothing to say.”

Jai remained silent, sipping his beer and watching Auggie laugh with his date. He wasn’t surrounded by his usual group of friends, Annie being with Jai and the other tech nerds sitting at a table separate from their leader. With an eerie sense of déjà vu, Jai remembered the Auggie he had been introduced to before Annie came to the agency. He remembered being glad of his London assignment and not having to work with the man. The Auggie he had discovered upon his return to Virginia had been altered, but it appeared he was hellbent on making a return to his former asshole self.

“I think I’m going to go,” Annie said after a few silent moments. “I’m sorry, Jai. Thanks for the drinks.”

“Do you want me to give you a ride back to Georgetown?”

“No, I’m okay, thanks.” She flashed another of her fake smiles, getting to her feet. Auggie was moving in their direction, and she didn’t want to talk to him. She wanted to ram her five inch heels through his teeth, but she really didn’t want to talk to him. “I’m just tired.”

“I really don’t mind...”

“You never do, do you, Jai?” Auggie mocked as he came to a stop beside their table. “He doesn’t mind, Annie.”

“As I just told Jai, Auggie, I’m fine. I’m going home. Good night.” Annie made to go around him, but Auggie only placed himself further into her path. She could smell the whiskey on his breath, and she wanted to slap him. Getting drunk at the bar was a new low. “You’re drunk,” she whispered angrily, her hands balling into fists of their own accord. “You’re drunk, and you’re in my way. Please move.”

“Who cares if I am? It’s a bar. And it’s not like I’m driving.”

“But I am.”

“I bet you are. Enjoying my car?”

“I haven’t driven it since the day you gave it to me. If you want it back, so you can sit on that roof and pretend you’ll ever get to drive it again, the keys will be on your desk tomorrow,” Annie snapped, too angry to control her temper. It was like he was _trying_ to push her buttons. Beside him, his nameless date was beginning to look worried. Jai wore his shock openly.

Without another word to either of them, Annie pushed her way past and out of the bar. By the time she found her way into the driver’s seat of her car, the tears were falling freely. Any relaxation she had found with Jai’s company was gone, instead replaced with the now-familiar sting of Auggie’s behavior. How could she have ever thought she knew the man? This wasn’t anything like him.

As she drove back to Georgetown, Annie tried desperately to swallow her emotions. Passing comments from coworkers on Auggie’s attitude shift were leading her to believe that the man she had witnessed tonight was more of the real Auggie than the one she had known. He had every right to be angry, to be bitter over losing his sight, even over the whole Parker mess, but it was wasn’t him. Annie knew Auggie was better than how he was acting; he hadn’t worked so hard to get his life back only to throw it away. He was brilliant, but even the agency would only tolerate so much of his bullshit. _Annie_ would only tolerate so much of his shit.

She spent the next few days avoiding Auggie as much as possible, even going so far as to volunteer for walk-in duty. Joan had probably seen through her, but spending the time out of the DPD helped. Looking into the eyes of the conspiracy theorists and nut jobs made her feel a little bit better about what she saw staring back at her in the mirror when she went home at night. Annie wasn’t crazy, at least not cover the windows in tinfoil crazy. This thing with Auggie would pass, eventually.

But by the following week, the tension in the office had only grown. Auggie and Annie had always been so close that their newfound frostiness was noticed – and felt – by their coworkers. Any thoughts Joan may have harbored about sending Annie back out into the field were quickly dismissed as she watched the two agents carefully avoid one another. She needed her people to work together, to be the team she knew they were capable of being. Three months ago, she would have been willing to throw Annie and Auggie into just about any situation, confident they would work together to get the job done. Now she wasn’t sure she would be comfortable sending them together to pick up lunch.

But in spite of her anger, Annie missed having Auggie around. She missed his ready smiles, their banter, the easy companionship of simply being together without saying a word. Auggie was always easy to be around, or at least he used to be. She knew she should probably apologize for her parting comment at the bar, but she had been hurt. Auggie had lashed out at her first.

She forced herself to press on, dutifully completing Joan’s busy work. Instead of going to Allen’s after work, Annie went directly home. Sometimes she ate dinner with her sister and the girls, and sometimes she simply sat on her couch drinking a beer in the darkness. The restlessness weighed heavily on her, but no cure presented itself. Danielle dragged her to a few yoga classes and out running in the mornings, yet Annie still found herself unable to sleep through the night.

Her thoughts drifted, sometimes to Stockholm, sometimes to Auggie. Both events ate up her mind, a constant push and pull on her sanity. Annie wanted to put them both behind her, but seeing Auggie at work daily was making it difficult. He hadn’t apologized for his behavior, and neither had she. She wanted her friend back, but watching Auggie scowl at his computer and snap at his team, she wondered if that was even possible.

As the days wore on, the anger Annie had clung to began to fester. What the hell was Auggie’s problem, anyway? Who was he to act like that toward her? After everything they had been through over the last few years, how could he be so cold, so distant? Where was the man who had gotten himself arrested trying to help her? The man who had snuck his way into the field to help her and slept across uncomfortable chairs in a hospital waiting room for her? He was in there somewhere, and Annie was done waiting for Auggie to figure his own shit out.

She waited until the end of the day to present herself at his desk, ignoring the surprised glances from the rest of the team. Annie hadn’t set foot in Tech Ops for the better part of a week, in a spite of having previously been practically a fixture. “Can I talk to you?” she asked quietly as Auggie slid his headphones off. “Alone?” she added, glancing around.

He didn’t answer immediately, maintaining his frosty expression. “Yeah, sure, just give me a minute.” His fingers flew over the Braille reader, followed by a few clicks of his mouse. Annie was surprised to see him shutting down the computer and shrugging on his jacket. “Eyes and ears everywhere, here. I assumed you didn’t want an audience,” he said by way of explanation, steering her out of Tech Ops and toward her desk. “Grab your keys. We can talk on our way back into DC.”

Annie wanted to snap something biting back about his assumption she would be willing to get in a car with him, given his latest behavior, but she swallowed the retort. This conversation had been meant to build bridges, not burn them. In spite of her anger, Annie didn’t want this to be an end for them. She just wanted her friend back.

“What did you want to talk about?” Auggie asked once they were in the car. His expression was neutral, but Annie didn’t miss the way his fingers tapped against the red and white cane folded in his hands.

“What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.”

“Annie, just because you’re going through something doesn’t mean everyone else is, too.”

“Why are you being such an asshole?” she demanded through clenched teeth, whipping the car onto the parkway. It gave her a small rush of satisfaction to see the sudden jolt of the car momentarily throw him off balance. “First you get all crazy about Jai, and now you’re acting like a completely different person. What gives, Auggie?”

“Nothing gives.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I’m trying here, Auggie. I don’t know what else to do.”

“Why did you lie to me about your sister’s bake sale?” he finally asked after a long silence. They were nearly back into DC. Annie glanced over at him, not sure how to answer the question. Her face flamed at being caught in the lie all over again.

“I don’t know,” she eventually answered. “I really don’t know, Auggie. I guess I just didn’t want to do this.”

“Do what? Talk to me? Isn’t that what you’re sitting here asking me to do, Annie? Talk to you?” His knuckles were white gripping the cane when she ventured a look at him.

“I just want things to go back to normal.”

“I haven’t gone anywhere, Annie. You’re the one lying and avoiding me, and going to the bar with Wilcox.”

“Is that what this is all about?”

“He’s a snake, Annie.”

“And what about you, Auggie?”

“What about me?”

“What makes you so different from Jai? I know, you’ve got it all figured out. The agency. Me. Everything. What makes you so much better than us?”

“I never said I was better than you, Annie.”

“Yeah, well you sure as hell act like it.” Annie took a deep breath, feeling her pulse rushing with her rising temper. “You say Jai uses people, but what about you? What about all these women? If you say you’re not using them, I don’t believe you.”

“They know what they’re getting into.”

“Do they? Or do you put on the nice, sweet Auggie Anderson impersonation for awhile, until they’re comfortable, and then pull out the jackass behavior?”

“What the hell are you talking about, Annie? What I do is my business. I don’t hassle you about Scott the doctor or whoever else.”

“You know Scott and I broke up,” Annie snapped back through gritted teeth. She was so angry she wanted to punch him, but that would slow down her driving. Annie had to keep driving. It was the only way to get rid of him. “Do you even hear yourself? Who _are_ you?”

“I’m the same person I’ve always been.”

“We’re at your place. Get out. Door is at two o’clock.”

“Annie...” There was a weariness to his voice, and for a moment, a flash of the old Auggie’s gentleness flickered across his face. “Why don’t you come in for a drink? I’m sorry, okay? I’m just...off lately.”

“You’re more than off. I’m too angry to talk to you. Get out.” Annie refused to even look at him. It was all fine and good for him to apologize in that soft, Auggie tone of voice, but he had lashed out at her only moments earlier. Whatever was going on in his head, it was turning him into a person she didn’t want to be around.

“Annie...I wish I could explain this to you. But it’s probably better this way.” He got out of the car without saying anything else, leaving Annie on the verge of screaming. What the hell was this, some new version of “it’s not you, it’s me” nonsense? She swallowed the rage, driving away. Annie would force him to explain himself, and soon, but not when she was so angry she might actually hit him... no matter how much he deserved it.

 


	3. In Which We Go For A Midnight Drive

3\. In Which We Go For A Midnight Drive

* * *

 

Saturday night and Annie found herself stretched out in her sister’s backyard on a sun lounger. The sun had long gone down, but the summer night was warm and Annie was comfortable. She had been out there for hours, nursing a couple of beers and watching the sky fade from pink to purple to black. When she looked back toward the house, the lights were off. Annie knew it had been hours since she had gone outside, but given how late it felt, she must have nodded off at one point.

Sure enough, once inside, the microwave in her small kitchen showed it to be close to midnight. No longer tired, Annie rinsed out her empty beer bottles and surveyed the dark rooms. After drumming her nails against the counter, she sighed and went in search of a sweatshirt to go over the thin tee she was wearing. She had finished the last beer some time ago, and wasn’t feeling even slightly buzzed. It was a warm night; maybe a drive in Auggie’s convertible would help. It had been days since their latest blowup, but he still hadn’t asked for the keys back. Despite her threat, she hadn’t been angry enough to follow through on her threat. Annie figured she might as well enjoy the car while she could. The way things were between them, she couldn’t rule out throwing the keys back at him one day soon in a fit of rage.  

The wind tore at her hair as she made her way out of Georgetown, but Annie couldn’t be bothered to put it back. It would be a hopeless mess by the time she got home, but who was there to see it? All the normal, well-adjusted members of her family were long asleep.

Annie needed something, anything, to tire her out. All the desk work was making her frustrated, and the constant battle with Auggie _was_ tiring her out, but she needed the bone-weary tiredness that followed a completed op. She needed to feel the ache in her calves that told of a sprint in her Louboutins. There was a part of Annie that didn’t know how to function without her missions, and that scared her. Was she turning into some sort of crazed adrenaline junkie?

With a sigh, she turned for the agency. Sure, there were all night gyms open in DC, but Annie lived on a government worker’s salary. Expensive shoes were one thing, but the extravagant cost of a private gym membership in the district was too much for her to swallow. A couple of rounds with a heavy bag would tire her out enough to sleep until the morning.

Langley was lit up as always when Annie pulled up to the gatehouse. She fished out her badge, patiently waiting for the usual security checks to be completed before she pulled through. It felt odd to be going into the office in her yoga pants and flip flops, but she figured it was unlikely she would see anyone. There weren’t any big ops running; most of her fellow agents were in DC as far as Annie knew. A quick stop at her desk to get the key for her gym locker, and Annie would be holed up in the gym without an audience. Who else could possibly be in the agency in the middle of the weekend?

“This is so not my night,” she muttered to herself as she rounded a corner to the buzz of activity. Apparently, there was a mission, and by the sounds of the chaos, something was going wrong. There was no other reason for that many people to be in the DPD at this hour, never mind on a Saturday. But it was too late now; Joan would see Annie’s entry on the logs sent to her desk every Monday morning, and Annie couldn’t very well tell her boss she’d come in for a workout, only to leave because her coworkers were around. That would only earn her another appointment with the shrink and countless more hours behind a desk.

But it still felt very strange to walk down the marble-lined halls in flip flops. Annie was used to the clicking of her heels and feeling put together. With her snarled hair, lack of makeup, and super casual clothes, Annie Walker was nothing close to put together.

Hoping to avoid Joan, Annie quickly made her way to her desk. Through the glass Tech Ops doors, she could see Auggie fully immersed, his headphones on and his lips moving a mile a minute. Even from where she sat, the pile of empty coffee cups and energy drink cans on his usually tidy desk was obvious. 

Annie sighed to herself, glancing over her shoulder toward Joan’s office. Part of her wanted to ask to be read in, to do _something_ other than translate a stack of intel documents, but Annie knew better. It wasn’t her mission, and her security clearance wasn’t that high. If they had wanted her help, they would have asked. Besides, whatever it was, Auggie was up to his neck in it. She didn’t want to get involved. 

Instead, she forced herself to grab the key she had come for and get moving before the bitterness she felt rising in the back of her throat could take hold. It would do her no good to sit in the bullpen, listening to the mayhem around her. Heading for the gym, she purposefully avoided looking at Auggie as she passed, but she couldn’t escape the sound of his voice through the open door.

He sounded tense, but controlled. Something was definitely going wrong, and he was talking an agent through an unplanned extraction by the sounds of it. Auggie had a way of issuing orders that didn’t feel like orders at all. Annie remembered all too well the times his voice had taken that tone in her ear. It said, _We’re going to get through this. You will be okay. This is what you’re going to do._ She missed that version of him.  

But Auggie wasn’t in Annie’s ear. He was in the DPD, guiding another agent through another op. Annie wasn’t on a mission – she was making her way toward a date with a heavy bag that needed a beating. As the noise of the DPD faded behind her, Annie forced herself to keep moving.

Once she was in front of the bag, everything she had been holding in came tearing out. With music blasting through her earbuds, and the bulky sweatshirt traded for a sports bra, Annie gave it everything she had. Each punch she landed, each kick that hit the bag with a satisfying thud, it pushed her just a little closer to that exhaustion she needed. The anger melted away with the tension, pouring off her with the sweat running into her eyes.

She worked over the punching bag until her arms felt like lead and her hair was sticking to her face. Every muscle in her body screamed by the time she backed away from the bag, ripping off the velco straps of her hand wraps. The silicone padding in the knuckles had been better than nothing, but she knew she should have used boxing gloves. She had been too impatient to find them when she had arrived, and now that she was unwinding the tape beneath the wraps, she could already see the purple coloring her knuckles had taken on.

“What’s gotten you so riled up, Walker?” a familiar voice called.

Annie spun around to see Auggie leaning in the doorway. His laser cane was in one hand, but he had shut it off. His gaze stared off in her direction, unseeing. He didn’t appear to still be angry, but it was impossible to tell with him as of late.

“How long have you been there?” she demanded, still trying to catch her breath. What the hell was he doing, spying on her in the middle of the night? “And how did you even know it was me?”

Auggie chuckled, taking a step toward her. It wasn’t a sound she had expected after their last conversation. “Joan said she saw you heading in this direction. No one else is crazy enough to be in here at this hour on a Saturday.” He slowly crossed the room, the laser cane sweeping in front of him once again. Reaching out one hand to her shoulder, Auggie stopped about a foot away. “C’mon, Walker. Talk to me. I’m sorry about the other night. Please tell me you’re not in here pretending to kick my ass with how hard you’re beating that bag.”

“Aren’t you in the middle of an op?”

“Extraction went smoothly. Everyone’s going home. Answer the question.”

“I’m fine. I just felt like a workout.”

“In the middle of the night on a Saturday? Bullshit. I shouldn’t have said the things I did. It was none of my business. But as big as my ego may be, I’m pretty sure this isn’t about me.”

Annie looked up to find Auggie’s gaze directed right at her. It always unsettled her, the way his rich brown eyes could be so expressive though they saw nothing. But she wished he would leave it alone. Sure, Auggie was still her friend, probably her best friend, but things weren’t the same as they had once been. Auggie had always been on her side, but not now. Now he was on his own side, or on Joan’s side, and to top it off, he had been acting like a real asshole. Annie couldn’t reconcile the Auggie in front of her with the one who had put his own ass on the line time and again for her in the past.

“Really, Auggie, it’s nothing. I’m sorry too, okay? You’re right; it’s not about you. I just needed to work off some stuff. I’m going home now. Straight to bed.” Annie plastered a smile onto her face out of habit. It didn’t matter if Auggie couldn’t see it; she was hoping the fake smile would help sell the fake cheer in her voice. She patted Auggie’s hand on her shoulder and headed back for the door.

“Walker!”

The way he said her name, Annie swore she was getting a glimpse of the soldier Auggie had been in Iraq before the explosion. In spite of her desire to get away from him, the order implicit in his voice gave her pause. She stopped.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Auggie,” she finally replied as the whisper of his sneakers brought him face to face with her once again. “You’ve got to leave it alone. I tried talking to you the other night, but you weren’t having it. I’m not in the mood to talk anymore.”

“Annie...” He sighed, shoving the laser cane in his pocket and putting both hands on her shoulders. “Just because I agree with Joan about you being out of the field while London blows over...”

“This isn’t about London and you damn well know it,” Annie snapped back, fighting the urge to push his hands off her. “Don’t patronize me.”

“The other night wasn’t about London either.” 

“I’m tired, Auggie.” Annie sighed. She wanted nothing more than to just lay it all out for him, and with the late hour and the weariness from her workout, her defenses were slipping. She had to get away from him before she said something she didn’t mean to. “I’m going home, taking a shower, and going to bed.”

There was a pause, and just when Annie was sure he was going to argue some more, the grip on her shoulders lessened. “At least give a blind guy a ride home?”

“Yeah, Auggie, sure.” Annie closed her eyes for a long moment before she shifted her weight to leave. She was too tired to argue with him, and the openness of his expression was a welcome change to the way he had been for weeks.

To her surprise, Auggie slid one hand down her arm, his touch light on her elbow as they made their way out of the gym. They walked in silence, stopping only for Annie to retrieve her car keys from her desk and for Auggie to swap the laser cane for his civilian version. The sudden silence of the DPD after the mayhem she had encountered earlier gave the office an eerie quality. The parking lot was also considerably emptier.

“I thought you said you weren’t driving the car,” Auggie commented as his hand landed on the heavy door of the convertible.

“I wasn’t. But it was a nice night.” She got into the car without another word. She didn’t want to talk about their conversation the other night. With perspective, she knew her reaction had once again been one of jealousy. But so had Auggie’s, and discussing it would only make the already cloudy waters murkier.

The silence only grew heavier on the ride back into DC. Annie turned the volume up on the radio, hoping Auggie would take it as a cue that she wasn’t in the mood to talk. It wasn’t the jazz she knew he favored, but Annie wasn’t feeling very accommodating. She had half-expected Auggie to use the drive to press her further, but as she drove down the Rock Creek Parkway to Auggie’s apartment in Adams Morgan, he didn’t say a word.

It wasn’t until she pulled up to the curb that he reached for the radio and cut the music completely. It was still dark, and on Auggie’s quiet, residential street, nothing moved. In the suddenly silent car, the distant noise of the traffic on the avenue several streets away drifted over them.

When Auggie remained quiet, Annie sighed. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to talk; maybe he just didn’t want to wake the neighbors with her playing music so loudly at the late hour. But if that was the case, why was he still sitting there with that odd look on his face?

“The door is your ten o’clock, Auggie. I’m double parked, but you’ve got a clear path.”

“Walker... about London... I know we never really talked about it, but you know this isn’t a punishment, right? Joan thinks the world of you. That arms dealer in London, he knows what you look like. Until we catch him...”

“I should be out there looking for him!” Annie cut in, slamming her palms against the steering wheel in frustration. “He tried to kill me, Auggie. That building, I was supposed to be there.”

“But you weren’t. You used your instincts, and you stayed alive.”

“Innocent people died.”

“You can’t feel guilty for that. That’s not on you. That’s on Bennington. He’s the one who set the bomb.”

“Everything they taught us about diffusing bombs at the Farm went straight out of my head. I should have been able to do it.”

“Annie Walker, you are one of the best agents we have. There was no time.”

She sighed, not wanting to argue about it anymore, and definitely not wanting to hear Auggie extolling her virtues. It was late, and she was blessedly tired. Plus, there were eyes and ears everywhere in DC. They had no business discussing a classified mission in the middle of the street. She counted herself lucky that Auggie was chalking her behavior up to the London mission, which had earned her seemingly permanent desk duty, and not seen through to the rest of it. Her being stuck in DC shed no light on his behavior, but she had already committed herself to leaving it alone for the night. 

“I told you, I’m just tired.”

“Are you okay to drive home? It’s really late.”

“It’s another ten minutes to Georgetown. I’ve survived with much less sleep doing much more difficult things.” Annie tried to keep the astonishment out of her voice. Was Auggie seriously concerned about her driving across town? What has she done to make him lose such utter confidence in her abilities? And why was he back to even giving a damn?

Auggie reached out for her hand, but pulled back at her wince. “I can feel the heat coming off your knuckles, Walker. You better ice that. And wear gloves next time.” He got out of the car without another word, leaving Annie to wonder, not for the first time, how on earth he could always figure out where she was at – except that day on the roof, of course. She watched as he made his way to the door, his steps smooth and the whisper of the cane a familiar comfort.

Swallowing her frustration, Annie waited until the door closed behind him before throwing the car back into gear. Any hope she’d had of sleeping had suddenly vanished in a mass of confused emotions over a certain ex-Special Forces soldier.

 


	4. In Which We Go For A Walk

4\. In Which We Go For A Walk

* * *

 

Annie woke Sunday morning feeling like a ton of bricks had been dropped on her overnight. The sun had been rising by the time she’d fallen into a fitful sleep, and even then, it hadn’t lasted. Her dreams were plagued with faceless pursuers, shadows that twisted right before her eyes.

Her muscles screamed in protest as Annie swung her legs over the side of her bed. It was a strangely welcome feeling. She paused for a moment, inspecting her hands. The knuckles were an angry purple and definitely still swollen. That would be hard to hide from Danielle, but her sister had gotten better at not asking the questions she knew Annie couldn’t answer.

Not that there was anything classified about being stupid with a punching bag.

Sighing, she made her way to the shower, turning the water as hot as she could stand it. With the day stretching out in front of her, she took her time. Sundays lately were hard. She could spend time with her sister and nieces, which was nice, but her easy afternoons with Auggie had ended after Stockholm. As the weeks had slipped by, it now seemed strange to see if he was up for trying a new restaurant or a walk along the tidal basin. Especially given their more recent spats.

Which was why when her phone rang that afternoon, in the middle of making cookies with the girls, Annie couldn’t help the shock at seeing Auggie’s name pop up. Hastily wiping her hands on her jeans, she quickly stepped out into the yard to see what was up.

“Hey, Auggie,” she answered, fighting to keep her tone light. After the heavy conversation they’d had the night before, she dreaded what he was calling to say.

“Walker! And here I was, trying to surprise you. Caller ID takes the fun out of it.”

He sounded like the old Auggie, his voice light and playful. The pre-Parker Auggie. Annie couldn’t help the smile it brought to her lips. “Well, I’m still surprised. It’s been less than twelve hours. You couldn’t possibly miss me.”

There was a slight pause, and when Auggie spoke, there was something in his tone Annie couldn’t remember ever hearing before, a heaviness to the words she definitely wasn’t used to. “Well, I was just thinking, I hear it’s a beautiful day, and we haven’t hung out on a Sunday in a long time, so how about a walk down by the Potomac? The tidal basin will be crowded with tourists, but there’s that park...”

Annie knew the spot. It was a local’s refuge, a small parking lot tucked away behind some trees with a dirt path leading down to the river. A paved trail picked up from there. It had been a favorite of theirs on especially nice days in the past; in the summer months, the tourists made the tidal basin more frustration for Auggie than it was worth.

“I don’t know, Auggie. I’m baking with the girls...” Annie chewed on her lip, hating how she sounded. Spending time with Auggie used to make her happy, but now it filled her with dread. “Really this time,” she added hastily, not wanting him to think she was lying again, especially when he seemed to be his normal self once more. 

“I know. I could hear them when you picked up.” Annie bit the inside of her cheek to keep from sighing audibly with relief. “C’mon, Walker, we haven’t done this in a long time. Too long.” The last few words that tugged at Annie’s heart, and she couldn’t hold back the second sigh.

“Okay. I’ll be there in about an hour.”

Ignoring the knowing smile Danielle shot her way, Annie quickly helped clean up some of the mess before throwing on a pair of sneakers and heading out. She was pretty sure there was flour in her hair, but she had already taken a shower that morning. Besides, it wasn’t like Auggie was going to notice.

He was quiet on the ride down to the river, but when Annie brushed her hand against his to let him know where she was, he didn’t hesitate to take her elbow. He tucked the fold-up civilian cane into his pocket as they began to stroll along.

“I missed this,” Annie finally admitted, leaning her head against Auggie’s shoulder for a moment. In the long shadows of the late afternoon, the sun still glinted off the river. The sounds of the city were ever present but distant. There were a handful of joggers out, but they were mostly alone on the river path.

“I should have called sooner,” Auggie said after a pause. His grip on her arm tightened, and the tension ratcheted up. “Annie, what happened in Stockholm...I should have stayed here. You needed me. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you then, and I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you since.”

Annie stopped in the middle of the path, wincing as Auggie stumbled at the unexpected halt. “Is that what you think?” she whispered, more to herself than anything. But Auggie’s sensitive ears didn’t miss a beat.

“What else would I think, Walker? You’ve been off since you came back. I thought having an awesome car would help cheer you up...” He stopped, his joke obviously falling on deaf ears. “Look, Annie, I know I’ve been distracted by my own shit, but I’m still your friend, in spite of my occasional inability to speak without being an asshole. When you came into the office last night... Joan said you looked upset. And then I found you in there beating on that bag...I’m still here, you know? I’ve done a shit job of showing it, but I care about your well-being. I care about you.”

Tears welled in her eyes, and Annie furiously blinked them back. If she so much as sniffled, Auggie would know she was crying. Swallowing past the thick lump in her throat, she started back down the path, Auggie’s hand returning to settle at her elbow in silence.

How could she possibly explain to him what was bothering her? It was a combination of so many things. She had nearly gotten her sister killed while on vacation. Her decision to share her feelings with Auggie had been disastrous to her heart, still bruised from a string of failed relationships. Auggie’s distance, the disaster that had been the London op, being stuck at a desk in Langley for the foreseeable future... all of it snowballed together to weigh heavily on Annie’s shoulders. And unlike the other times in her life when things had gotten to this point, Annie couldn’t pick up and start over. The agency wasn’t big on its employees just disappearing into the ether.

“I...haven’t wanted to bother you with my stuff. I know you’ve got your own...I know it didn’t go the way you wanted it to with Parker. You’ve been different too, since you came back from Africa. You’re so angry all the time, Auggie.” Beside her, he stiffened ever so slightly. His grip on her arm tightened momentarily before he loosened his fingers.

“It wasn’t what I thought it was,” he finally said, the words matter of fact. “I shouldn’t have gone.”

“Maybe. But maybe it’s good you did. At least you know, instead of wondering what could have been.” Annie swallowed hard after forcing the words out, ignoring the guilty feeling fighting its way forward. She knew she should come clean to him about her feelings, especially when the months had done nothing to diminish them. If anything, Annie felt more strongly now than she had before.

“Is that how you felt when you saw Mercer again?”

Annie didn’t miss the way Ben’s name twisted out of Auggie’s mouth. Filing that detail away for later, she forced herself to be honest, replying, “In a way. It felt good to walk away from him in the end on my own two feet. I spent so much time wanting to be with him so badly, but then...he wasn’t who I needed him to be. Sri Lanka was a long time ago. I’m not the same girl I was on that beach. I’m not broken.”

It was the most she had said on the subject of Ben Mercer. Talking about Ben with Auggie, even before Stockholm, had always seemed wrong.  Mercer had been Annie’s cross to bear, her mistake. It was on her not to be the naïve girl who could fall for a man so hard in such a little amount of time again. The woman she was now was too smart, too aware of herself and the people around her, to be pulled in like that. If the agency told her she had to work with him, well then, she would put on her game face. But Joan had been right about Ben. He needed the danger of the field, and he would never be happy giving Annie the kind of life she wanted.

“I think I wanted to make it more than it was with Parker. She was the sister of one of the guys in my unit back in Iraq. Being with her, it was like he...wasn’t quite so far gone. It felt normal, like for once I was doing what others guys do.” He paused, and slipped his arm through Annie’s as they continued down the familiar path. “But I don’t think normal is enough.”

“You’re far from normal, Auggie.” Annie punctuated the statement with a hip check, just to make sure he knew she was kidding. It earned her a small smile in response, but she didn’t like the pensive expression on his face. “You know you don’t have to talk about her if you don’t want to, right?” she added quietly.

“You told me about Mercer. It’s only fair.”

“Our friendship isn’t tit for tat, Auggie.”

“I know that.” Another pause. “I wasn’t saying it because I thought it was. I should have told you about her from the beginning. At first I didn’t...it wasn’t... I didn’t think it would turn into something. Then it did, and I didn’t know how to tell anyone. The day Joan told me they’d approved the close and continuing, Parker broke up with me. It was... a lot.”

“You don’t owe me any explanations.”

“Nice of you to say that, but I do.” He sighed, grabbing for Annie’s bruised hand. “I felt that wince. Did you at least ice your hand last night?”

Subject successfully changed, Annie decided to firmly put Parker in the past. It was plain Auggie wasn’t going back there. “No. I forgot,” she replied, trying to ignore how soft Auggie’s touch was. She didn’t even care that her knuckles were still throbbing if he kept running his thumb lightly over them. 

“What did Danielle say?”

“Nothing. She just gave me a look that I pretended not to see.”

“You won’t be able to ignore that look from Joan.”

“Watch me.”

“You’ll go back into the field once this is over, Annie. They’re not burying you in the DPD.” The bitterness that had crept into his voice was hard to ignore. _They’re not banning you from the field the way they’ve banned me_ , his voice said. _So count yourself lucky._ Annie was surprised he didn’t just say it. It wasn’t like him to handle her with kid gloves.

“Feels that way,” she grumbled in spite of knowing better, staring out over the river. As the sun was sinking in the sky, the rowers were taking to the river. She watched the boats glide through the water, envying their grace. It was a beautiful sight, and it tugged at her heart that Auggie would never see it again.

“Annie...”

“I know your opinion on it, Auggie. I don’t want to fight. Besides, we’re going to lose the sun soon, which I know doesn’t matter to you, but I don’t want to stumble around in the dark.”

“I’d be here to protect you.”

“More like laugh at me. I’m going to turn us around, okay?” She waited until Auggie nodded, watching him pivot on his feet smoothly. It was a turn a drill sergeant could be proud of. Brushing her hand against his, Annie let Auggie get his bearings before starting back toward the car.

He finally seemed to take the hint and the rest of their evening was spent talking about a handful of new restaurants that had opened in Auggie’s neighborhood, an upcoming music festival, and their usual banter. Annie had missed these afternoons, and as they sat on the floor of Auggie’s apartment eating Chinese takeout, a wave of contentment washed over her.

Which made it the perfect moment to ruin.

“That day...when you gave me your car...I had come over for more than my plant back,” Annie blurted out, nervously picking at the label from her beer with her thumbnail. Half a six pack had given her just enough courage to open her mouth.

“Did you have a psychic moment that there was going to be a car waiting?” Auggie joked, his easy laughter filling the room. Annie smiled, but forged ahead anyway. She had missed this time with him, but the remaining simmering tension was pushing her toward a confession. Annie could handle stress, but this sort was too much. If she really wanted things to go back to normal with him, she had to lay it all out, once and for all.

“When I was in Stockholm, Danielle overheard me on the phone with you. She said my voice changes when I talk to you.” Annie looked down at the floor, unable to meet Auggie’s gaze. It didn’t matter that he couldn’t see her. She felt exposed all the same when his warm eyes settled on her.

“Oh?” He wasn’t laughing anymore. In fact, Annie was sure she heard a wariness in his voice that hadn’t been there before. His hands stilled in his lap, and Annie’s heart began to hammer in her chest.

“Yeah. And then you were leaving, and when you came back, you seemed...broken...” Auggie winced at the description, but Annie barreled on before she completely lost her nerve. “And I started avoiding you, because I just didn’t know what to say. It’s been weird, right? I mean, everyone knows something is up with us. We’ve both said things I don’t think we really mean...and then you show up in the gym last night, and...today...”

“Annie, I’m not quite sure I’m following you here.” His voice was slow, measured. “You’re talking so fast. It’s just me and you. Whatever you’re trying to say, it’s okay, but I can hear you getting upset. I meant what I said. I don’t want to keep fighting.”

Annie’s heart sank. She thought she was being fairly obvious, but Auggie wasn’t having any of it. He didn’t return her feelings. She suddenly felt very stupid, and her face flamed with embarrassment. “Oh, wow, it’s so late. You know, I actually need to get back. Michael is out of town again, and Danielle could use my help getting the girls to bed...” Annie was babbling as she shoved her sneakers back on her feet, determined to get out of Auggie’s apartment before she made a bigger fool out of herself. She knew as a spy she should have been able to come up with an excuse that didn’t sound quite so lame, but lying to Auggie didn’t come easy.

In his own space, Auggie could still move with the speed and grace his training had ingrained in him. Before Annie could get to the door, he was on his feet and blocking her path. “I know you can lie better than that,” he said quietly, leaning back against the door. “C’mon, Walker, what’s going on?”

Annie gritted her teeth, wondering if she could get out of the apartment without getting herself hurt. She had sparred enough with Auggie to know she was no match for him. He had a good six inches on her, a much longer reach, and a body of nothing but lean muscle.

But lying her way out of it… Annie’s job description might as well have been professional liar. Auggie couldn’t see her face or hear the way her heart was thrumming in her ears.

“I’m sorry, Auggie. I shouldn’t have brought it up. Today has just been so nice, like how things used to be between us. I missed you, that’s all.”

“I haven’t gone anywhere.”

_The best lies are always based in a grain of truth,_ Annie told herself, knowing by the puzzled expression on Auggie’s face that he hadn’t quite bought her story yet. The man might have been blind, but he was still a CIA operative. She had to make him believe her.

“I think we both know that’s not true. I’m not the only one who got distant. I get it, but...”

Auggie sighed, leaning his head back against the door and letting his eyes slip closed. He was still blocking her path, but a measure of tension had gone out of his shoulders. “Annie, before I left…I got some news. Then Africa was a disaster. I just wanted to put it all behind me. I came back, and I knew I should have been there for you, but I just...I was barely holding my own shit together. I didn’t know how to be there for you, too.”

“What news?” Annie asked suspiciously. Auggie hadn’t mentioned anything about bad news. Was it one of his brothers? Another one of the guys in his unit? All this time, Annie had chalked all of his moodiness up to Parker. What else had gone wrong?

“If I told you to leave it alone, would you?”

“If I told you to lie better, would you be offended?”

A wry smile broke out across his face, and his eyes opened once again. “Touché, Walker.” He stepped away from the door, one hand on the wall to keep his bearings. He gestured toward his kitchen and Annie reluctantly followed him. “Promise you won’t take off on me, and I’ll tell you. I should have told you that day on the roof, but I knew you had enough going on in your head over Stockholm…and I wanted to get to Parker…”

Annie was glad he couldn’t see the wince she felt at Parker’s name, but accepted the fresh beer he held out all the same. Leaning one hip into the kitchen island, she waited for Auggie to explain, doing her best to ignore the gnawing worry.

“I had a doctor’s appointment while you were gone,” he said after a long drink from his beer. His pose appeared casual, leaning back against the counter across from her, but Annie could see the tension in his jaw. For once, his stare was directed away from her, but knowing Auggie he was doing it on purpose. Old habits, she supposed. It didn’t matter whether or not he could see her; his eyes avoided her all the same.

“There was some new research with stem cells and possibly being able to repair the damage to my eyes.” Annie held her breath, shoving back the urge to exclaim over the new studies. Auggie was far too serious for it to be anything good.

After another long pause, he began again. “I went in for an MRI while you were gone. The doctor called while I was in the middle of getting together the team to extract you and your sister. I barely had time to listen to him, but I had to know…Needless to say, the news wasn’t good. I’m not a candidate for the new study.”

“Oh, Auggie, I’m so sorry…” Annie set her beer down on the counter, moving toward him, but stopped when he held up a hand.

“I’m not telling you so you feel sorry for me.”

“I wasn’t…”

“Let me finish.” His jaw tightened, his arms folding across his chest. “Annie…from the day we met, you’ve never made me feel...you treat me like an equal. I can’t explain to you what that’s been like. Don’t stop now.” There was a harshness to his tone that gave Annie pause, and she forced herself to get her voice under control before she replied, “Okay, Auggie.”

“I was angry when I got the news. I thought I’d moved past the anger years ago, but it turns out I haven’t. I have bad days, Annie. Still. I’ve had a lot of them since Africa. Maybe part of why I decided to go was to avoid dealing with the MRI results. That’s probably what a shrink would say. I know it’s part of why I avoided you when I came back. I can’t seem to shake the anger this time, and it scares me sometimes. I don’t want to accept that, and I didn’t want to accept what the doctor told me, but on that flight back from Africa, I had to. That research they’re doing, it’s a great thing. It’s going to help someone like me years from now, and maybe they won’t have to go through what I have. But I can’t keep doing it. I have to let it go. This is my life now. I’m not getting my vision back.” He took a deep breath before adding, “And it’s not that I’ve given up. I just can’t put myself through the ups and downs. I get my hopes up, and then it turns out I’m not a good candidate, or the trial was cancelled, or something. So I’m done. I can’t live like that.” 

It was the most Auggie had ever verbalized regarding his struggle with his blindness. Most of what she knew she had picked up by being observant, or heard from Joan, Jai, and the others at the agency. Auggie had built a wall around himself guarded with jokes and his self-deprecating humor. It was easy to forget his blindness inside the walls of Langley; Auggie was a master of his craft. He moved through the halls with ease, and his fingers flew over his Braille reader nearly as fast as Annie could type. Plus, he had taken her down enough times on the mats in the gym to prove he hadn’t lost his fighting skills.

 Annie didn’t know what to say. She wanted to be supportive, but there wasn’t anything she could think of that didn’t sound hollow. At first she wanted to push him to keep his hope, to not let this setback turn him off from trying again, but Annie knew she couldn’t imagine what he’d been through. If Auggie said he was done, then she should respect that. It wasn’t her hope being crushed.

“I’m glad you told me.” Putting the beer down, Annie moved across the kitchen to wrap her arms around Auggie’s neck, resting her head on his chest for a long moment. With her eyes closed, she felt his arms come around her back. She could hear the racing of his heart pressed up against him, revealing what his disciplined body hadn’t. Divulging his feelings on the matter had been hard for him, and Annie promised herself she wouldn’t make him regret letting her in. It was plain he needed her friendship more than he needed any further emotional complications in his life. She vowed to make another attempt to shove down anything that hinted of complication.

Feeling Auggie stir, Annie pulled away reluctantly. Being in his arms, despite her vow to bury her feelings, had been wonderful. She was still close enough to smell his cologne and feel the warmth of his body. She didn’t want it to end, standing in his kitchen trapped in one perfect moment where all the other bullshit dropped off and they were just two people leaning on each other.

“All right, that’s enough of my morose ass. Movie?” he suggested as Annie stepped back. The tension had left his expression, but Annie could see the guarded look in his eyes.

“Yeah, Auggie, sure. You pick,” she said softly, grabbing her beer off the island and slowly heading back for the couch. Auggie followed, moving through his own apartment with the ease she remembered. While he used his laptop to choose a movie from his Netflix queue, Annie settled into the couch cushions, grateful Auggie seemed to have become sufficiently distracted by his own demons to not question what on earth any of what they’d just discussed had to do with Annie’s voice when she talked to him.

 


	5. In Which We Go For A Parking Lot Swim

5.  In Which We Go For A Parking Lot Swim

* * *

 

Monday morning dawned humid, the heavy summer air already simmering with the promise of afternoon storms to come, but Annie woke up feeling lighter than she had in some time. Her conversation with Auggie the night before had made her feel as though things were finally back to normal. It had also forced her to realize that though he wasn’t going to say it, he needed her in his life the same way she needed him. It was simple, and Annie wanted to keep it that way.

Even a day in the office translating a stack of Russian emails couldn’t ruin her good mood. Walking down the marble halls with her heels clicking, Annie felt like the spy she knew she was. Confident. Ready for anything. Joan could keep her trapped at Langley for as long as she wanted, but Annie was going to get back out into the field one day.

The change in her demeanor wasn’t lost on her coworkers. Annie’s sunny personality was famous in the male-dominated office, but they had noticed the change in her just as they had seen it in Auggie. Joan hid a smile behind her coffee cup as she watched the two interact. Something had happened over the weekend, that much was plain, and judging by the way they still danced around each other, there was still plenty left for them to work through. Maybe it hadn’t been fair to use London to her advantage this way, but Joan couldn’t have Auggie and Annie upset with each other. She wasn’t sending Annie back into the field until they had worked it out, no matter how frustrating it was to watch one of her best agents buried by the mountain of invented paperwork. If Annie couldn’t trust Auggie, or if she hesitated in the field, it could cost her far more than some tedious translations.

It had been a gamble, but Joan knew her people. Annie might think the translations and walk-in duty now beneath her, but she’d grown up in a military household. Annie knew all about chain of command, and she wouldn’t question Joan on it. Auggie didn’t have the same problems questioning authority, military background or not, but just as she had suspected, his concern for Annie had outweighed any impulse to question.

The distance between them hadn’t done anything to diminish that concern, but when Annie blew the op in London, Joan had had enough. Annie was distracted, Auggie was back to snapping at his team every time they hit a bump in the road. It seemed the entire DPD held its collective breath. Arthur had questioned whether or not Joan’s interference would only make the situation worse, and at first, she had begun to think maybe he’d been right. Stuck back in DC, Annie and Auggie didn’t revert back to their former habit of spending all their free time together. He remained sullen and she grew quieter and quieter. Their spats became part of the office rumor mill almost instantly. 

But Saturday night, walking into the chaos of someone else’s mission going wrong, Joan had seen a spark of the old Annie Walker in the disheveled girl headed for the gym. There was a determination in her eyes, a firmness in her step that had been missing. And now here she was, sitting on Auggie’s desk, her hand on his shoulder and her laughter joining his. Auggie couldn’t see the tiny smiles shot in their direction, and Annie didn’t seem to notice. Neither of them needed to know the office had a bet going on how long it would be before they were filling out a close and continuing.

If Joan had been a betting woman, she would have given them another month at the most.

Casting her agents’ one last lingering glance, Joan turned back to her office. Annie hadn’t noticed the visual inspection from her place on Auggie’s desk, much too engrossed in his recollection of a particularly spirited cab ride he’d endured over the weekend. They were back to being able to fill their time by talking about anything, and it didn’t feel forced to be in the Tech Ops room. In fact, Auggie’s team seemed to be particularly pleased to see her.

The week passed quickly. Annie’s translations were still boring, but a steady stream of coffee runs, and the distraction of Auggie’s banter when he wasn’t busy with an op, made the week bearable. Joan even seemed to be easing up, offering a smile when Annie asked if there was an update on Bennington. She hadn’t had an answer, but Annie was taking it as a positive sign. The pile on her desk was getting smaller by the day, and she had started training with Auggie in the gym again.

Sparring with him helped in more ways than one. In the gym, she could be close to Auggie, breathe in the scent of his skin, and lose herself in their movements. In spite of the fact that he was much stronger than she was, Annie felt safe in his grasp, knowing that for every bruise her training earned her, she would be that much better to defend herself when it wasn’t Auggie trying to take her down. There would be plenty of thugs coming at her that were stronger, faster, bigger than Annie. Who better to learn from than an ex Special Forces trained CIA agent?

“You’re getting better,” Auggie told her as they took a break. Annie was breathing heavily while he was barely flushed. She shook her head, laughing quietly at his assessment.

“Auggie, I know you can’t see how red my face is, but you must be able to feel how grossly sweaty I am. You barely look winded.”

He grinned, his gaze falling on her in that unsettling way. “I said better, not better than me.”

“Hmph.” She turned away from him, bending to grab a towel from her bag to wipe her face. “I’m beat, all the same. Want to call it a day?”

“Tired of making friends with the mat?”

“Just when I thought you had a heart, Anderson.”

“You know you love me.” Annie’s breath caught in her throat. She turned to face him, and catching the smug grin on his face, she knew she needed a better reaction and fast. Auggie was teasing her. He has no idea how close to home his words had been.

Instead of replying, Annie kept silent, her plan to deflect rapidly coming together. Auggie’s laser cane was on top of Annie’s bag. They were alone in the gym, and Annie was barefoot. She moved silently, intently watching as Auggie’s smile faded into a confused expression. “Annie?” he called, reaching out for where she had stood previously. “Hey, c’mon, I was just kidding.”

Behind him, Annie swept out her leg, aiming for the back of Auggie’s knees. She was already halfway to a mental cheer when his hand shot out and grabbed her foot right before it connected with his leg. Annie was on her ass on the mat before she knew it. “Nice try, Walker.”

“How do you do that?” she demanded, slapping her hand against the floor in frustration. _At least it’s cooler down here_ , she thought ruefully, lying back on the mat.

“I could hear your clothes move. I can smell your perfume. C’mon, Walker, you know all my tricks by now.”

“I’m going to stop wearing it,” Annie grumbled. “I’m going to dose myself with Jai’s cologne tomorrow.”

“Don’t do that. I like your perfume. Besides, if you smell like Wilcox, then I’ll really want to hurt you.” There was an unexpected edge to his voice. Annie winced, remembering how angry Jai’s renewed interest in her had made Auggie. Bringing him up now, just when things were getting back to normal, probably hadn’t been her best idea.

“Then I won’t wear any perfume,” she shot back, putting a flirty twist on it.

That seemed to do the trick. Auggie nudged her lightly with his foot to get a sense of where she was before flopping on the mat next to her. “I’ll still know where you are, Walker. You’re stuck with me.”

“So now you’re a stalker? That’s pretty creepy.”

“Comes with being a spook.”

Annie couldn’t help laughing, but she elbowed Auggie in the ribs for good measure. “Very funny.”

“Hey, you asked!”

“That I did.” Annie sighed, looking around the gym, double checking that no one else was present before she spoke again. She had been wanting to ask Auggie this particular question all day, but she wondered if they were really okay enough to go there. “I’m starting to feel like I’m never going to get this hand to hand stuff down all the way. How long did it take you to get back up to par with your fighting after the accident?”

He was silent for a long moment and Annie feared she’d gone too far. It was one thing to ask Auggie personal questions in the privacy of his home, but they were in the middle of the agency. Just because Annie didn’t see anyone didn’t mean they weren’t there. They both knew that.

“Years,” he finally said, an odd tone in his voice. “It took years, and I’m still not what I was. But I told you, you’re getting better.”

Annie reached over to lightly punch his arm. “I’m sort of glad I never tried to take you then before. You’d just beat me even worse.”

The jibe had its intended affect and Auggie laughed, sitting up and tugging Annie with him. “When one thing goes, you learn to rely on the others. My hearing is much more attuned than it ever was before. I never thought to listen to someone’s footsteps. They’re all different. I can pick out the sound of your steps versus Joan’s as easy as if I was looking for you in a crowd. It helps that I’ve trained with you when we’re in here. I know your weaknesses.”

“You mean you exploit them.”

“If you think for a minute one of those guys out there won’t do it with the intent to kill you, you’re wrong.” He had become deadly serious in an instant; he did anytime it came to a question of Annie’s safety. In spite of everything, that had never changed.

“I know.” Reaching for his hand, Annie gave it a quick squeeze, trying to ignore the flash of memories the simple action brought on. “And you know I appreciate it.”

“Just trying to keep you alive, Walker. I get the feeling you’re going back out in the field soon.”

“Bennington’s in custody?”

“As of this morning.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Annie demanded, jumping to her feet. All of the tender feelings that had risen to the surface were easily shoved back by her rising anger. Auggie knew how badly she wanted back into the field. How could he not have shared this with her? So much for things getting back to normal.

“I told him not to,” came Joan’s cool reply. Annie’s gaze snapped up to where her boss stood in the doorway, her expression blank. Joan raised one eyebrow at Annie before turning to leave. “My office. Ten minutes. You’re going for a gondola ride tomorrow.”

“A what?” Joan didn’t answer, not evening turning to look back. “You knew?” Annie turned back on Auggie as soon as Joan’s footsteps had faded, eyeing him as he got to his feet. She handed him back his laser cane as she shouldered her gym bag. If she moved quickly enough, she could grab a fast shower before presenting herself in her boss’s office.

“You know I look over all my ops before they’re given to the agents.”

“So that’s a yes.”

“Yeah, Annie, I knew. Just like you know I couldn’t tell you a damn thing until Joan told you herself.” There was a challenge in his usually easy tone, and Annie knew she was pushing too far. Friends or not, protocol demanded certain things of them both. She needed to remember that.

“Yeah, I know. Sorry.” She took a deep breath, heading for the locker room. “We still on for Allen’s tonight?”

“You don’t want to go home to pack?”

“I can pack after.”

“All right, well then yes, Allen’s it is. I’ll buy if you drive.” It was a long running joke between them. When Annie tried to pay, Auggie pulled the driving card. What was a couple of beers in exchange for his personal chauffer? Sure, the agency provided a car service, but they had nothing on the excitement of Annie’s driving.

She laughed as she walked off, the adrenaline rush of a new mission putting a bounce in her step. She hurried through her shower, twisting her wet hair back up and swiping the barest amount of makeup over her face before hurrying to Joan’s office.

She was going back into the field and she couldn’t wait.

“Venice?” Annie found her excitement rapidly fading as she glanced over the file in her hands one more time. _Gondola._ Venice. The last failure before London. Joan sitting across from her with the same cool expression she wore now, telling Annie not to worry about it. They had contingency plans. Redundancy built into the system, wasn’t that it?

 _Where was the damn redundancy in London?_ Annie directed her glare at the file rather than Joan. She knew better than to question Joan’s authority. No matter how many times Auggie had told her no one around there batted a thousand, Annie couldn’t help but feel like her failure wouldn’t soon be forgotten.

She wasn’t even touching the mental mess surrounding her involvement with Savvier Exarte upon her return from Venice. She had helped to ensure the ruin of his livelihood and used him, just like a good little spy. It had been over a year, but it still left a sour taste in her mouth that one of the few decent men she had met over the last few years was out there in the world, hating her. That rounded out her list nicely, didn’t it? Ben Mercer was off not giving a damn. Jai’s only interest in her had been on orders or to push Auggie’s buttons. Scott the doctor was definitely out of the picture. Auggie had put her firmly in the friend zone. If only Danielle didn’t hate cats, Annie would have strongly considered getting an early start on her collection sure to come.

And now she was going back to god damn Venice. Apparently her contact there had left further intel in a safe his son had found after his passing. Now, to serve his father’s memory, he wanted to finish what had been started. The vetting process had taken time, but an op had finally been cleared to retrieve the intel. They were sending Annie because she had already been read in, and she knew the layout of the city. She was traveling under her Smithsonian cover, and this time, there would be no open piazzas to expose them. Instead, they would meet inside the Biblioteca Nazionale Marciana, where Annie was to retrieve a fourteenth century manuscript going on loan to the Smithsonian.

Auggie was waiting for her outside Joan’s office, a smirk dancing on his lips as they made their way down the stairs. “Happy to go back into the field?”

“Did you know that the word ‘fiasco’ is from the Italian? It loosely translates to failure. An epic failure, if you will.” Annie knew she was taking her bad mood out on Auggie, but she didn’t care. She just wanted to go home, pack, and force herself to go through maps of the city. They were putting her up in a hotel not far from the piazza San Marco, but she wanted to make damn sure she knew the street layout better this time. She wanted to come back with the intel she was being sent for – minus the wrenched muscles she had earned herself last time.

“Annie...”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. It’s just... they couldn’t have sent me anywhere else?”

“What’s the big objection to Venice? It’s a beautiful city. The light there is like nowhere else.” Auggie’s voice had taken on a wistfulness Annie had to force herself not to pay too much attention to. She knew Auggie had traveled plenty before his accident, so it came as no surprise he had been to the waterlogged city. But remembering the way the sunset had played over the lagoon, it made Annie sad for him. He would never see Venice at sunset again.

“I just don’t like to fail,” Annie replied when she realized Auggie was still waiting for an answer. It was another half truth, but that was all she was prepared to give up. Telling Auggie her true thoughts would only upset him.

“Try to enjoy it this time, Walker. You should be able to hear the music from your hotel. I made sure to specify your room faced the square. Even managed a balcony. You won’t be able to see over the palace, but you’ll hear it.” Annie swallowed the sigh building up behind her lips. Auggie’s love of music was part of what made him who he was, and she knew that though he’d always loved jazz, since losing his sight it was one of the few pleasures that hadn’t changed. You didn’t need to see the band to feel the music.

“Yeah, Auggie, I’ll try.”

They were standing at his desk now, Auggie carefully closing down his equipment and methodically putting things away. He had showered while Annie had met with Joan, and she could smell his soap and cologne standing so closely to him. The gym clothes had been swapped back for his office clothes, black slacks and a charcoal vest over a long sleeved black shirt. The vest highlighted the narrowness of his waist, and Annie felt the overwhelming urge to sit on her hands before she grabbed him.

“Are you sure you still want to go to Allen’s?” he asked as he locked the last drawer, the white and red collapsible civilian cane in hand as he slung his messenger bag over his head. Annie waited until he had settled it where he wanted it before brushing her hand against his.

“Yeah, of course,” she replied as he took her elbow. “But I think we’re going to need to sit inside. Looks like another storm.” The windows revealed a downpour, the rumble of thunder audible as they exited the DPD.

“Do you have an umbrella, Walker?”

“Nope. Looks like we’re going to have to melt.” She shot him a quick glance as they made their way toward the door, weighing her words before she spoke. “I can run to my car and come get you from the door.”

“Now what kind of gentlemen lets a lady run out into a rainstorm while he stays nice and dry inside?”

“The kind that would wreck my car if he tried to drive it to the door.”

Auggie laughed, shaking his head as he followed Annie. “Walker, I trust you. Run in as straight a line as you can. I’ll keep up. My legs are longer than yours anyway.”

“And how would you know?”

“Easy.” He trailed his hand from her elbow down to her hand and put it on his hip before grabbing her left hand. That one went on her hip. Annie forced herself to breathe normally at the feel of his hands on her and his closeness. “See? Your hips are lower. Shorter legs.”

“Right.” Annie shook her head at herself, turning back for the door as Auggie reclaimed her elbow. Of course he knew how tall she was. They spent enough time together in close quarters for him to figure that out. Plus it was in her file. “Of course you knew that. Sorry, Auggie, that was a stupid thing to say.”

“Maybe. But it gave me an excuse to feel you up.”

Annie was grateful he couldn’t see her flush to the roots of her hair at the comment. He’d hardly felt her up, and who used that expression beyond middle school anyway? She snuck another glance in his direction, taking in the school boy grin. Apparently, Auggie had reverted back to his normal self. All really was well between them now... wasn’t it?

Once they got to the door, Annie stopped, glaring out at the pouring rain. She had changed back into her heels to meet Joan, and the thought of running across the parking lot in her Louboutins in the downpour was not an appealing one. She wished she had left her sneakers on.

“What’s wrong, Walker? Afraid of melting?”

“No.”

“Afraid those death trap shoes are going to get you killed running in the rain?”

“How...”

“You’re nearly five inches taller in those things than you are when we’re in the gym. No woman, no matter how much she lies, finds those things comfortable. Or easy to walk in.”

“But they look damn good,” Annie quipped back without thinking. A flash of emotion flickered across Auggie’s face, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. Annie almost wondered if she had imagined it.

“Bet sneakers are looking much better right now,” Auggie replied after the slightest hesitation. The grin was firmly back in place as they pushed the door open. Standing under the awning, Annie sighed. At least it was a warm rain.

“Hang on. I’m just going to take them off.” She shook her arm gently to get Auggie to let go of her elbow, instead using his shoulder to balance as she pulled off the shoes. Holding them by the heels in her free hand with her keys, she brushed her right hand against Auggie’s left once more. She was surprised when he chose to lace his fingers with hers instead of grabbing on to her elbow. The thrill it sent up her spine had nothing to do with the rain.

“This will be easier. Just remember, try for a straight path. And warn me _before_ I run into a parked car.” Annie laughed at the mental picture, staring out across the parking lot in search of her red car. Her early start had at least put her fairly close to the door.

“Okay, we’re going what looks like about fifty feet straight ahead  and then another thirty to the left, as best as I can tell. Ready?” Auggie nodded, and unable to stop a giggle from erupting, Annie dashed out into the warm summer rain with him right behind her. By the time they were both in her car, dripping water all over the seats, Annie could barely catch her breath she was laughing so hard. There was something about running through the summer rain barefoot that made her feel like a kid again.

“So... Allen’s?” she asked, flipping her rearview mirror down to examine the damage. The rain had caused her mascara to run down her face and her hair was hopeless. Her blouse clung to her skin, transparent in places. Beside her, Auggie was looking every bit as much as a drowned rat.

“Maybe we better get dry clothes first,” he replied wryly, patting his thighs. Water splashed out of the fabric.

“My place or yours?”

“Annie Walker, what sort of question is that to ask a coworker?”

“Auggie!”

He laughed as she pulled out of the parking spot, twisting out of his vest. The shirt beneath it was completely soaked, and for a minute Annie thought he was about to strip it off too. That sent a shiver through her body that had nothing to do with the water dripping down her spine. “Fine, mine it is. I’ve got better beer.”

“You’ve got a higher pay grade. And a tendency to spend most of your time sleeping in your own bed.”

“Whatever, Walker. Just drive. And like a normal person, will you? The roads are slippery when wet.”

“Don’t give me that. My scores on the course at the Farm were some of the best they’d ever seen.”

“I wasn’t aware the parkway qualified as a stunt course.”

“Are you telling me that you had that super fast car stashed away because you liked to drive slow?”

A smile pulled at his lips as he turned toward her. “No, I don’t suppose I did.”

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry...”

“Don’t be. You’ve never walked on eggshells around me. Don’t you dare start now. I deserved what you said, that day at the bar. I don’t know how we got so off track, but we’re going forward now.”

“Right. Okay. I’m...”

“If you apologize one more time, I’m going to drive us back into DC myself,” Auggie threatened.

Annie sighed, tempted to gun it out of spite. But the rain was still coming down in sheets and her poor tires got enough abuse as it was.

The rain didn’t let up, and it was late by the time Annie let herself into the guesthouse still wearing Auggie’s sweats and tee. They never had made it to Allen’s, unwilling to brave the downpour a second time once in Auggie’s warm and dry apartment.

Even freshly laundered, his scent still clung to her borrowed clothes. She sighed as she moved through the dark rooms, hanging her still-damp clothes to dry and gathering what she needed to pack for her Venice trip. Venice in the middle of the summer was hotter than even DC, so luckily the thin fabrics she chose made it easy to fit everything in one easy to transport bag. She made quick work of packing, making a mental note to stop by the safehouse in the morning for a stack of euros and her passport.  

Glancing at the clock, she had just enough time to grab a few hours of sleep before her flight left Reagan. A quick commuter plane up to JFK and then on to Venice. There would be plenty of time to sleep on the plane.

Curling up in her bed, Annie didn’t bother to get undressed. She told herself it was because she was exhausted and it was cold in the air-conditioned room, but she knew it was a lie as she fell asleep breathing Auggie’s scent in.

 


	6. In Which We Go Sailing At Sunset

 

6\. In Which We Go Sailing At Sunset

* * *

 

The water taxi moved quickly over the lagoon, Annie’s hair flying behind her. It was a beautiful evening in Italy, the sky streaked pink and purple by the setting sun. The few clouds framed the night sky, and Annie all but sighed at the vision in front of her.

Taking the water taxi was a small luxury. She could have looped around by train from the airport, or relied on the vaporreto, but Venice was a city made for indulgences. It was a visual fairy tale, and though her reasons for being there were far from romantic, Annie took the moment she had promised Auggie she would and drank it in.

By the time she was settled in her hotel room in a converted palazzo with a glass of wine, Annie had almost lulled herself into a state of relaxation. The city was beautiful, she had a lovely view of the water from her room with the promised balcony, and sure enough, she could hear the traces of music floating up from San Marco.

It had been a long day of travelling, but protocol still required her to check in. Grinning as she threw her feet up onto the wrought iron rail, Annie pulled out her phone and dialed Auggie.

“You and your shoes there in one piece, Walker?” came Auggie’s teasing greeting came across the line.

“Took a water taxi from the airport and everything.”

“Very good.” A beat of silence followed. “Can you hear the music?”

“I can.” Annie took a long swallow of her wine, leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes. “It’s a beautiful night, Auggie. You would love it.”

“I’ll get back there one day, Walker.” He sighed, and then it was back to business. “The meet has been arranged for the day after tomorrow. Details will follow. Wear something green.”

“Will do, Auggie.”

Silence fell, and Annie knew she should hang up. They were on a government line, every word being recorded for posterity. There was nothing left to discuss on the mission, and Annie knew Auggie had been in the office early.

But instead, she listened to his even breathing, took another sip of her wine, and waited for Auggie to make the first move to hang up.

“Okay, Walker. Be safe. We’ll talk tomorrow. Enjoy the city.”

Auggie was gone before Annie could get another word in. _Strange_ , she thought to herself, swirling the wine in her glass. Auggie was the smoothest talker she knew, and yet here he was, being awkward on the phone. Annie had started it, sure, but Annie Walker having a touch of awkward with the men in her life was nothing new.

With a sigh, she threw back the rest of the wine and settled into her chair. The night was warm, bordering on too warm, but in her silk top and linen pants, Annie was perfectly comfortable. She could hear the hum of the tourists, thinning for the evening, the lapping of the water on the gondolas tied up beside the square, and the traces of music. The salt air walked that fine line between pleasant and fishy, but Annie breathed it in all the same. Her job was one that often sent her to far-flung locales – that had been a reason to sign up. But traveling for the agency wasn’t like traveling in those years after college, or even after Ben. The old Annie didn’t spend hours in her hotel room; she spent hours walking back alleys and learning new places.

Once full dark had settled, Annie reluctantly gave up her spot on the balcony and retreated to her room to force herself to get some sleep. In the morning, she would review what information she had on her contact, get the details of the meet setup, and hopefully find another snatched moment to enjoy the beautiful city she was in.

~*~

Venice went off without a hitch, thankfully. Annie had been waiting for something to happen, every muscle tensed to run as she walked to and from the library to maintain her cover. She shopped along the narrow streets surrounding the Rialto, picking up gifts for Danielle and the girls. The trip being under her Smithsonian cover had at least allowed her to tell them where she was going this time, and she knew the girls would love the sparkly, feathered masks. And though it seemed odd to be buying gloves in the pressing heat, Annie knew Danielle would love the brightly colored leather set she had picked up come the DC winter.

It was with great relief Annie handed the intel over to Joan upon arriving back at Langley. She was bone tired from the flight, which had been delayed in JFK for hours, and it was late by the time she pulled into the parking lot. But protocol was protocol, and Annie knew she had to be debriefed, even for something as simple as an intel pick up.

“Thank you, Annie,” was Joan’s only reply after she had recounted the meet. Nothing suspicious to report out of Venice – simply a good man who was sad to have lost his father. Annie’s read on Adrian was that he just wanted to honor the man’s memory by finishing his work. What he had turned over to Annie in Venice had been the last of the information, and the best she could tell, he was looking forward to living out his life quietly in the Italian countryside.

Sensing she had been dismissed, Annie let herself out of Joan’s office, stifling a yawn. Though the hour was late, the DPD was still buzzing with life. Joan had been waiting on Annie, but by the looks of it, there was another op or two currently running. With the number of agents the DPD had going at any given time, and the time zones crisscrossing the globe, it was no wonder the place was rarely quiet.

Auggie and his team were still around, coffee cups and empty energy drink cans littering the Tech Ops office as Annie stuck her head in. Auggie’s expression was one of deep concentration, his fingers running quickly over the Braille reader, but the office was fairly quiet.

“Hey, Auggie, want me to grab you a coffee before I go?”

Auggie’s face broke into a smile, one of his hands leaving the keyboard to pull off his headphones. “Welcome back, Walker,” he said in reply, leaning back in his chair. “Fly halfway around the world, spend hours at that shit hole JFK, and yet the first thing you want to know is whether or not you can go get me a coffee?”

“You want a coffee or not?” Annie teased, walking into the office to stand next to him. She didn’t see the amused grin exchanged behind her back by the others.

“I’m not dignifying that with a response.”

“Are you going to be here all night?”

“It’s looking that way. Don’t wait up.” The devilish grin and obvious innuendo as he put his headphones back on was enough to make Annie blush bright red. If only he knew how much she wished there was even a remote chance Auggie would be slipping into her bed that night, maybe he would be the one coloring. But as it stood, it was Annie who refused to even look at any of the team as she made her way out of the Tech Ops room.

When she returned with Auggie’s coffee – milk, lots of sugar – the rest of the room had emptied. Auggie looked to still be immersed in his work, but he heard her approach and slid off the headphones before she could say a word. “Thanks, Annie,” he muttered absently as she put his coffee down with a quiet, “Ten o’clock.”

“I won’t keep you. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll be here. I may not even go home. This op looks like it’s going to run late.”

“It’s already late, Auggie.”

“Yeah, well, later.”

“Where did the rest of your team go?”

“I sent them home. We’ve been at it since early this morning.”

“Why are you still here if they’re not?”

“I can handle this one solo.”

“Maybe you should have let one of your team handle it. How long have you been up, Auggie?” Annie asked with some concern, getting a better look at her friend. He had dark circles under his eyes, eyes that had the jittery look of too much coffee…and maybe a touch of something else. She wasn’t so naïve as to think there weren’t plenty of agents running around with a chemical helper when they had to be awake for days on end, but Annie couldn’t recall ever seeing Auggie with that expression.

“Awhile. It’s all good, Annie. Thank you for the coffee.” The headphones went back on, and for the second time that night, Annie felt dismissed. It was a normal event with Joan, but with Auggie, it smarted of rejection. Annie didn’t like the sour taste in her mouth one bit as she started to walk away.

But a tiny voice in her head was calling bullshit on the entire conversation. Since when wasn’t she entitled to feel concern for her best friend? What did it matter if she had figured out her feelings ran deeper only once it was too late? Auggie had been right that day in the car before she had gone to Venice. She never used to walk on eggshells around him – why on earth had she started now?

Turning back, Annie put one hand on Auggie’s arm, waiting for him to slide off the headphones. “You told me not to walk on eggshells around you anymore, Auggie, so get mad all you want, but I don’t like distance between us. You never used to shut me out.”

“Leave it alone. I’m not your concern.”

“Since when?”

“Annie, go home. It’s been a long few days.”

“How long have you been up, Auggie?”

“I told you, awhile,” he snapped back, his eyes squeezing closed as he leaned back in his chair. Annie braced herself. She knew that by remaining, she was only provoking him further. She was sure to get another taste of his infamous temper, but Annie refused to back down.

“Days? Did you take something, Auggie? You don’t look right.”

“Yes, Annie, days. It’s what I do. How do you think it’s always my voice in your ear on your missions, and not someone else’s? How do you think I got you out of Mexico? This is the job, Annie. When you’re off in the field, I’m here. I’m always here. Someone has to be to watch out for you. And you’re not the only agent who needs saving.”

Annie stood rooted to her spot, staring at him in disbelief. Even after their previous arguments, she hadn’t been prepared for the viciousness with which Auggie spat the words at her. It hurt more than she wanted to let herself acknowledge, but the same determination that made her a great spy was rearing its head in defiance.

“Call one of your guys. You’re going home.”

“Funny, Walker, but be as pissed as you want. You’re not Joan.”

Annie resisted the urge to stomp one of her feet in frustration. “Does _Joan_ know you’re hopped up on something other than coffee?”

“Where do you think I got it?”

Annie truly had no reply to that. There had been moments in her short career with the agency where she had wondered about the things she would be asked to do, the morals she would have to examine. Savvier Exarte had been one of those moments, and yet, she had done what she was told regardless. She had used a good man, who had done nothing wrong himself, to get what she needed for the agency. Now here was Auggie, hopped up on amphetamines, telling her their boss had given them to him. Was there going to come a day where Annie would find herself being handed a bottle of pills that on the street would make her a drug addict?

When she didn’t answer him, Auggie smirked. It wasn’t the smirk Annie knew and loved, the one that told of Auggie’s sarcastic sense of humor, but instead it was a nasty expression that lent an ugliness to his entire face. Annie wished bitterly in that moment Auggie could see again, if only long enough for her to hold a mirror up to what she saw.

“Sorry, Walker. I’m not perfect.”

This time, Annie didn’t fight the dismissal. She turned on her heel and headed for home, thankful she at least managed to blink back the angry tears until she was safely outside the gates, away from the security cameras.

The lights were still on in the house when she pulled into the Georgetown driveway, but Annie couldn’t face her sister. Instead, she grabbed her bag and hurried through the warm night into the guest house. It was late, and she didn’t bother turning on the lights as she went. A part of Annie hoped that Danielle wouldn’t have heard her pull into the driveway, and that she would be left to herself for the evening and morning.

 _Why does it even bother me so much what he does?_ Annie asked herself as she got undressed, heading for a hot shower. Feelings aside, Auggie was a grown man. Annie had no business policing his behavior, even if she was slightly horrified.

But more than that, she felt like a naïve little girl who had gotten a slap in the face after tumbling to the bottom of the rabbit hole. Her job with the agency would put her in touch with some genuinely good people, but there were also those unsavory types. She knew that though no one wanted to talk about it, back room deals got made with criminals all the time. The agency often agreed to look the other way on what they deemed smaller indiscretions in order to get to the bigger fish. The number of informants who had gone from drug dealers, pimps, small time arms dealers, and a whole host of others, had found themselves living out their days in Witness Protection, with stipends from the good old government. Was it so surprising that an agency willing to get in bed with criminals could condone the use of drugs when it suited their own purposes?

Standing under the spray, Annie didn’t think so. She had been awfully foolish to even question Auggie. He wasn’t some teenager she had caught smoking pot behind the school gym; Auggie was an adult who made his own decisions and had gotten through plenty of rough patches just fine. He was also a damn good operative.

Annie sighed, working the shampoo into her hair and trying to find something calming in the lavender scent. It wasn’t just Auggie. It was the agency, and everything about it. Auggie used the tools they gave him and did what he was expected to do. Annie would have to learn to do the same if she wanted to stay afloat.

It wasn’t what Annie had always thought it would be. What had she told him in the beginning? That the spy business was messy? That had been an understatement. The deeper in Annie got, the more she realized that there was nothing about the agency like what was on TV or in the movies. There was nothing glamorous about getting shot at; everyone wasn’t savings lives.

 _In fact, some of us are getting the boss’s blessing to do drugs_ , Annie thought glumly as she got out of the shower. The hot water had helped her to calm down, but Auggie’s biting remarks had bothered her more than she wanted to admit. Rationally, she knew he had been up for days, and the combination of the coffee and drugs was sure to make him irritable.

Not that irritable was an excuse for being a complete asshole.

Annie sighed. As annoyed as she was with him, she reached for his unreturned T-shirt and slipped it on with a pair of her own sleep shorts. A part of her felt awfully silly walking around in Auggie’s shirt like some lovesick teenager, but if she couldn’t be a little immature in her own house, where could she? Besides, the T-shirt went just fine with the dinner of rocky road that had her name all over it.

Danielle had left her a stack of mail on the kitchen counter, which Annie flipped through as she ate her ice cream straight from the carton. Mostly junk, a few catalogues, and a handful of bills. In the dimly lit kitchen, Annie shifted her weight from foot to foot, flipping through one of the catalogues filled with expensive furnishings. It was all nice to look at, but it wasn’t like Annie had a home for any of it or a bank account that could such things. She preferred filling her closet with shoes; those were easier to transport.

She was halfway down the hall to her bedroom when her cell phone rang. Rushing to grab it before the call went to voicemail, Annie was shocked to see Auggie’s name pop up on the caller id. She held the phone for another long moment, unsure whether or not she was going to bother answering it.

“I half-expected you to ignore my call,” Auggie said in way of greeting when she finally answered.

“You would have deserved it.”

“Yeah, I would have.” Auggie chuckled, sounding more like himself. “I came to say I’m sorry. Let me in?”

“Are you at my house?”

“Standing in front of your door.”

Annie glanced down at her attire, a flush coming to her cheeks. But it wasn’t as though Auggie would be able to tell she was wearing his shirt anyway, and she was more than a little curious as to why he had bothered coming all the way to Georgetown to apologize. “Yeah, I’m coming, hang on.”

She opened the door to a contrite Auggie holding a six pack of beer. “I’m a dick, I shouldn’t have snapped at you, and I bring booze.”

“Auggie...”

“Or if you’re tired and you just want to go to sleep, I can leave.”

“No, I don’t want you to leave. Come in, come in.” Annie reached out one hand for his, pulling him in the door. Auggie had only been there a few times, so Annie went slowly as she brought him into the small living room. He handed her the beer before settling into the couch and shrugging off his leather jacket. Annie perched herself on the arm of the sofa, sighing as she took in his appearance.

He was pale and looked exhausted. The dark circles had gotten even darker under his eyes, which were bloodshot and swollen. His movements were jerkier than usual; Annie had gotten used to the way Auggie moved with the grace of a cat. It was unsettling to see him so far off his usual mark.

“Auggie...”

“I’m sorry, Annie. I’m kind of an asshole, if you haven’t heard.”

“I’d heard. Didn’t really buy it, before.”

“Yeah, about that... I’ve been up for a few days, and I know that’s no excuse, but the op was going badly and the headache is bad today...”

“Why didn’t you just go home?”

Auggie sighed, sitting up and reaching for her. His hand landed on her bare thigh. “Walker, are you wearing pants?”

“Auggie!” She swatted his hand away, feeling the heat of her blush. “It’s July. I’m wearing shorts.”

“Must be awfully short.” He wiggled his eyebrows in her direction and Annie couldn’t help but laugh in spite of her embarrassment.

“I was getting ready for bed when you called.”

“Don’t let me stop you.”

“Auggie...”

He leaned back on the couch, a yawn escaping. “I’m not very good at this.”

“Are you kidding me? Every other word out of your mouth some days is innuendo. You’ve slept with half the city.”

“Not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“Apologizing.”

“We don’t have to do this.”

“It seems we do.”

“I had no right to tell you what to do.”

“Annie...”

“No, Auggie, I had no right.”

“Maybe not, but my reaction could have been better.” Auggie took a deep breath before sitting up and leaning forward on his knees. “I know things haven’t always gone the way you thought they would since you got pulled from the Farm. It’s not always clean. Sometimes, it’s just doing what needs to be done.” He paused, as though he were weighing his next words carefully. “Training at the Farm isn’t a picnic, but it’s nothing on Special Forces training. That’s about learning how to push yourself to the ultimate limit – and then pushing past that. You learn what to do to survive. Coffee only gets you so far when you’re on day two of tracking terrorists with two days to go. Coffee doesn’t cut it when you’ve got a panicked agent in your ear, counting on you to get them home alive, and you’ve already been up for two days.”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me.”

“I don’t know what else to do. You and I, something isn’t right, Annie. I thought before you went to Venice that we had worked out whatever was wrong. But...” Auggie’s fists balled up against his leg, his face betraying his frustration.

“I don’t know how to fix it,” she finally admitted, her voice quiet. “I don’t even know what’s really wrong.”

“Did I do something to lose your trust?”

“No! Why would you even say that?”

“You’ve pulled away since Stockholm. I don’t know why. Did something happen that wasn’t in the reports?”

Annie thought about Danielle’s comments, and the way her heart had leapt into her throat. Yeah, something had happened, all right. Auggie had fled to Africa when Annie had hoped he would have stayed in DC. Annie had opened her heart to feelings she had been blocking out for a long time, only to attempt to stuff them back down. The trouble was, those feelings refused to fit back into their neat little box. Why was it so easy to shove her feelings into neat, compartmentalized boxes when on a mission, but the second she came back to DC, Auggie broke through all those barriers?

How was she supposed to tell him any of that?

“No, nothing happened,” she forced herself to say. “I don’t know, Auggie. My ops haven’t been going so well. I feel like Joan is ready to fire me. You’ve been under a lot of stress, and the whole Parker thing... Maybe we’re just both in a weird place.”

Auggie shook his head, grabbing her hand. Annie resisted the urge to jerk out of his touch, forcing herself to breathe normally. She wished she was sitting across the room and not on the edge of the couch; she really wished she wasn’t wearing such small shorts and Auggie’s shirt.

“No, it’s something. I might not be able to see your face, but I know it, Annie. Something is off.”

“It’s late, Auggie. We can talk about this tomorrow. Why don’t you crash here? I’ve got tomorrow off anyway, and I’m sure with all the hours you put in the last few days, Joan will be pissed if you show up. I’ll bring you home in the morning. I might even make you breakfast.”

“Shouldn’t I be making you breakfast?” Auggie grinned, his hand dropping to her leg again. “I mean, isn’t that how it usually goes after a night with a beautiful woman?”

“I’m going to chalk that last comment up to your lack of sleep.”

“Aw, Walker, c’mon, I make some mean eggs.”

“I’ll take your word for it. This isn’t your kitchen that you’re used to, and I’m sure my sister would kill us if we burned her house down.”

“Fine. You can drive us back to my apartment, and I’ll make breakfast there.”

“Goodnight, Auggie.” Annie shook her head as she got to her feet, taking a quick look around for any shoes she had left if the middle of the floor or other potential disasters.

“Oh, she’s cold. The couch!”

Annie stopped, looking back at him getting comfortable on the couch. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t crashed there before after a few too many drinks. She knew he had definitely been joking, but as Annie eyed the way the sofa seemed dwarfed by his long frame, and just how tired he looked, it seemed cruel to make him sleep on her couch. Before she could lose her nerve, or put anymore meaning into it than there was, Annie was standing in front of him.

“C’mon, you’re coming with me.”

“Annie, I was kidding. I’m fine here.”

“You haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in days. I’m too tired to drive you home. The least I can do is share my bed.” Annie ignored the option of calling a cab entirely.

“The lady knows how to be romantic,” he joked, taking the hand she offered and following carefully behind Annie down the hall. She shook her head, sighing loud enough for him to hear.

“Don’t get any ideas,” she warned, all the while wishing that maybe he would get one. “I’m going to take the side by the window, so you’ll be closest to the door if you need to get up in the middle of the night. Do you remember where the bathroom is?”

“Yep.” Auggie let go of her arm, sitting on the edge of her bed and kicking off his sneakers. The awkward tension between them climbing, Annie flipped the light and crawled onto her side of the bed. It wasn’t as if Auggie needed the light.

In the dim light filtering in through the windows, Annie watched as he pulled off his T-shirt and jeans, the Special Forces tattoo centered on his back standing out in sharp relief to his pale skin. His back and shoulders were still lean with muscle, and for a brief moment Annie wondered what he had looked like in his Army fatigues, tanned from the desert.

“Annie?” he interrupted her thoughts as he settled back into the pillows. “Thank you.”

“What are friends for?”

He didn’t say anything, but reached across the bed to pull her closer. Annie froze as his fingers ran across the shirt she wore, his shirt. Sure enough, after a moment’s hesitation, Auggie’s laughter filled the dark room. “I’ve been looking for this shirt.”

“Guess you found it then,” Annie managed to force out. She could feel the heat on her cheeks rising, wondering how she could have been so stupid as not to change.

“It would be most ungentlemanly to ask for it back now, wouldn’t it?”

“About that couch.”

“I’m sure it looks better on you anyway.” Auggie’s hands ran across her back, his touch soft even through the fabric. Annie wasn’t surprised he had known as soon as he had touched her. Auggie relied on touch so much that it wasn’t all that strange he could easily recognize something he had worn.

“Obviously.” Auggie still hadn’t released his hold on her, and Annie gave in, settling against his chest. His skin was soft under her cheek, and dimly she knew that this wasn’t something friends did. Auggie was holding her in his arms, in her bed, and they were both only half dressed. The line was blurring, and no matter how much she wanted to panic, Annie forced herself to take deep, even breaths until she fell asleep wrapped in his arms.

 


	7. In Which We Begin To Dance

 

7\. In Which We Begin To Dance

* * *

 

Sunlight falling across her face woke Annie the next morning. She had forgotten to set the air before going to sleep the night before, and it was bordering on unpleasantly warm in her bedroom. Annie was torn – on the one hand, she could feel a thin layer of sweat on her skin. On the other...she was still firmly wrapped in Auggie’s arms. They had both been so tired that neither had moved in the night. Annie couldn’t remember the last time she had woken up in a man’s arms feeling so...right.

She sighed, stretching her legs out. Her limbs felt heavy, stiff from a night of such heavy sleep. How long had it been since she had slept so soundly? Venice had been filled with anxiety, and it wasn’t like she had been able to get any sleep on the plane carrying valuable intel in her purse.

Auggie’s breaths were still coming deep and even. Annie was nearly certain he was still asleep. She hesitantly reached out her fingers across the hard muscle of his chest, tracing idle patterns with her nails. She hadn’t expected his skin to be so soft.

“Feeling me up, Walker?” a sleepy voice mumbled. Annie snatched her hand back, blushing deeply. It didn’t help that Auggie’s voice sounded sexier than ever half-asleep.

“Payback,” she told him, trying to roll away to the other side of the bed. It had been one thing to blur the lines with Auggie in the middle of the night, but in the light of day, Annie suddenly felt very foolish. Of course Auggie would be this way with her; she had watched him take home a parade of women over the years. There was no denying the man was a charmer.

“Not so fast.” Auggie’s arm behind her back tightened, pulling her back toward his chest. “It can’t possibly be time to get up already. Go back to sleep.”

“It’s got to be near noon.”

Auggie’s free hand felt around for his watch, and Annie watched in fascination as he popped the cover off to feel the time. “It’s just after nine. It was after two when I got here. More sleep.” He carefully put the watch back down on top of his jeans before pulling Annie closer.

“At least let me get up to turn on the air. It’s hot in here.”

Auggie’s fingers danced down her bare arm and then back across her shoulders, sweeping her hair back as he went. “This is nothing. In the desert, it was so hot in the summer you could practically feel your skin cooking, even in the shade. The dust got into your pores, into your mouth, into your eyes. It was like an oven, perpetually turned to broil. If you were stupid, or unfortunate enough, to have to go outside, the sun bleached everything to the most unforgiving white. This is a gorgeous summer morning. Stay.”

Annie hesitated. He never talked about Iraq so casually, and it seemed that in her bed, there was a strange sort of peaceful existence between them. His voice hadn’t changed as he spoke about the place that had robbed him of his sight. He just sounded sleepy...and much too sexy for how close their bodies currently were. Auggie coming to her in the middle of the night, and Annie sharing her bed with him, no matter how innocent, had smudged an already hazy line between them. A part of her worried that as soon as they left the comfort of her bedroom, the same old tension would be back. Annie didn’t want to be another notch on his bedpost, and Auggie had made no move to show her he wanted anything further...until he had held her in his arms for an entire night without making a move...until he had spoken to her so offhandedly about a time in his life she knew he guarded fiercely.

“I can hear you thinking, Walker. Think later. Sleepy...” His voice was rougher, sleep already starting to reclaim him. Annie sighed, throwing her arm back across his chest and settling against him. With her ear pressed to his chest, Annie swore she heard the tiniest hum of contentment rumbling in his chest. She kicked off the blanket, the cooler air making her shiver momentarily. She was asleep again within minutes.

When she woke for the second time, Auggie was running his fingers lightly through her hair, pulling it away from her face. The sun had moved to the other window, meaning hours had gone by. Annie was certain it was well past noon.

“Been awake long?” she asked as she stretched, yawning loudly. She couldn’t remember the last time she had stayed in bed so late in the day.

“Not really.”

“You could have woken me up.”

“Nah. You needed the sleep as much as I did.”

Annie hummed in agreement, forcing herself to reluctantly roll away from him. She wasn’t quite sure how to behave now, but it was definitely time for food and coffee. “I know you wanted to cook, but I’m starving. I’m just going to make some eggs and coffee here, and then I’ll bring you home, okay?”

“Throwing me out already?”

“Auggie...” Annie didn’t know what else to say. She wanted him to stay, of course, but how was she supposed to explain that? And how was she supposed to explain to him that instead of making her feel better, the night in his arms was slowly starting to make her feel worse as she fully woke up? Did he think sex with Annie was an automatic next move? Did he think she was going to be one of those girls he toyed with so carelessly?

Auggie laughed, unaware of her dark thoughts as he sat up. Annie tried to force herself to look away, knowing it wasn’t particularly fair of her to stare at him. “Don’t worry, Walker, I’ll be out of your hair. I could have taken a cab home last night. You really didn’t have to keep me.” There was a hint of reproach in his voice, and Annie wondered if she had hurt his feelings.

Why couldn’t either of them just say what they meant?

“It was the middle of the night, and you looked like you were ready to fall over.” Annie walked around the bed, sitting down next to him as he pulled on his shirt. “I was worried.”

“I know,” he said quietly, sliding one hand over to hers. He squeezed lightly before getting to his feet, donning his watch as he stood. “You’re an amazing woman, Annie. You didn’t deserve my behavior last night.”

“Auggie...”

“I wish I could tell you it would never happen again. But I wasn’t kidding when I said I still had bad days. When I woke up in the hospital, it was to a headache I can’t even begin to describe to you. It still comes back, every now and then, and usually when I’m stressed or haven’t had enough sleep. There’s a lot I can push through, but trying to function with pain so bad you wonder how your ears aren’t bleeding, it makes it hard to remember there are people around me who are trying to help. Last night...”

“I told you that you don’t owe me any explanations.”

Auggie sighed, reaching for Annie and pulling her into a light hug. He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead and turned away, one hand running along the wall to keep his bearings. It wasn’t until she heard the bathroom door open and shut a moment later that Annie let out the breath she had been holding.

Telling herself to pull it together, she quickly got dressed and went to make breakfast. She refused to make more out of her night with Auggie – or that sweet kiss on her forehead – than it was. It was just Auggie being Auggie. She had seen him charm the pants off plenty of women, and it wasn’t all that unusual for him to be touchy with her. That was just who he was.

True to her promise, Annie made breakfast, cleaned up, and brought Auggie home. Breakfast had really been more of a brunch, and it was already late afternoon by the time Annie found herself back in the guest house. In an effort to keep herself busy, she went for a run through the neighborhood, and then spent the evening with Danielle and the girls, happily handing out presents to their delight.

After the girls had gone to bed, Annie and Danielle split a bottle of wine and sat up in the kitchen. Annie told her as much as she could about Venice, and Danielle told her younger sister about Michael’s latest suspicious behavior. Neither of them mentioned Auggie’s late night visit, which Annie was thankful for. She wasn’t ready to let Danielle’s eagle eye examine that mess just yet.

But it felt undeniably good to talk to her sister about her trip, even having to leave out the details. She wasn’t lying about going to Topeka or Spokane, or any other boring-sounding city. She could actually share with her sister the good parts about her job with the agency – the balcony overlooking the lagoon in Venice being just one of them. Annie knew Danielle was done traveling with her for awhile following their experience in Stockholm, but it didn’t stop her from hoping that one day she could profit from Annie’s vast knowledge of foreign cities.

Annie went to bed that night with her head full of wine and her nose pressed into the pillow Auggie had slept on, but sleep didn’t come easy.

The next morning, she woke irritable from her poor night’s sleep and annoyed with herself. Nothing had happened. She would go into the office and be her normal self. She wouldn’t avoid Auggie, and she wouldn’t be awkward around him.

The little pep talk she had given herself didn’t stop her heart from pounding as she walked into the DPD and headed for her desk. Auggie was already in, headphones on and face set with concentration. Annie sighed, sliding into her seat and beginning to wade her way through the emails that had piled up in her absence.

Auggie came to get her for lunch, and Annie chattered on like nothing had changed, but she felt ridiculous. It didn’t help matters that she could feel the gaze of her coworkers all around her, studying her. Were they ever going to let London go? Venice had gone well. Didn’t that count for something with those vultures?

If Auggie could feel her discomfort, he didn’t let on. Annie suspected he knew something was up by the look on his face, but for some reason he wasn’t pushing her on it. That only made it worse. Auggie wasn’t known for mincing words, and now he was obviously holding back on her.

Suddenly, Annie couldn’t wait to get back out into the field.

Joan watched them throughout the day, wondering why it was that two highly intelligent people could be so stupid. She knew they had been together – an agency car had dropped Auggie off at Annie’s late Tuesday night, but hadn’t waited to bring him back to his own apartment. Then Auggie hadn’t come into the office on Wednesday. It wasn’t that Joan minded; in fact, she had often pestered him to take a day off following a particularly grueling op to recover, but Auggie had always refused. Until now...and on the same day Annie Walker was out of the office.

Curious and curiouser.

But nothing about the way they interacted with each other told Joan that anything had been resolved. Annie moved with hesitance, and Auggie’s smiles didn’t quite reach his eyes. To anyone who didn’t know them so well, they appeared as if all was well, but Joan knew her people. They were highly trained in the art of deception, and she inwardly sighed, knowing that sometimes it became too natural to lie to everyone around you. It had taken her and Arthur so long to finally put aside the games and admit their feelings for each other. It made her sad to watch Annie and Auggie repeat her past mistakes.

In the meantime, the intel Annie had brought back from Venice had been more helpful than Joan had originally thought it would be. Adrian’s father had grown up splitting his time between Italy and Greece, and had maintained lifelong friendships with boys from across the Mediterranean, including those in Turkey with ties to arms smuggling in Syria and Lebanon.  Joan wanted to send Annie to Istanbul for a surveillance op to make sure the data was good before another team moved in to make the arrests, but the continued tension was making her nervous. She had heard the awkward conversation Annie and Auggie had shared during the initial Venice check in. Venice had been simple – Istanbul left more room for error.

There was a part of Joan that wanted to just pull them both into her office and demand they explain themselves, preferably to each other. Joan knew Auggie had had feelings for Annie from nearly day one, and it had been clear to everyone that Annie at least held him in high esteem. But something had changed between them since Stockholm, and Joan cursed that damned op for perhaps the hundredth time.

Not that she wasn’t certain Auggie’s ill-timed trip to Africa wasn’t to blame, either. Annie hadn’t been able to hide the dismay on her face quickly enough from Joan when she had asked about Auggie after the Stockholm debrief. Instead, she had hurried out of the office muttering something about getting her plant back before he left on vacation. Joan hadn’t had the heart to tell her that Auggie’s time off came with a plane ticket out of the country. Maybe a part of her had hoped Annie would have been able to convince Auggie to stay.

 _Well, she didn’t, he didn’t, and they’ll work it out_ , Joan told herself firmly, turning away from the bullpen to return to her office. She couldn’t keep Annie in the DPD indefinitely, and they would have to work it out in their own time. Joan counted herself lucky they were both professionals.

Which was why she was so surprised by Auggie’s adamant insistence that Annie wasn’t ready for a mission like Istanbul. He argued with Joan behind closed doors that he didn’t think Annie was ready to get back into things full on – look at how nervous she had been over a simple intel pickup in Venice. Auggie thought sending her to Istanbul was asking for trouble, and for the first time she could remember, Joan wasn’t sure if Auggie’s protective instincts for Annie were getting in the way of his professional judgment. She told him so.

The comment had shut him up quickly, but all the same, Joan agreed to send Annie elsewhere first, to Copenhagen under her Smithsonian cover to gather intel from a new informant. It would be a simple op in a relatively safe city. But once that op was completed successfully, Annie was going to Istanbul, and that was final.

For her part, Annie took the news that she would be out of the office again so soon with her usual enthusiasm. Joan watched as she either missed or ignored the way Auggie’s expression subtly changed while Annie chattered on excitedly about the new trip. In all her travels, Copenhagen had long been on the list but she had never managed to get there. Plus, with the current temperatures in DC pushing the mercury ever higher, Annie was looking forward to heading north. She teased Auggie about all the local beers she would be able to sample for the rest of the afternoon.

He bore her teasing with his usual good humor, but beyond his smile, Auggie was torn. The night with Annie had been a highly unusual one for him. He had slept in her bed, held her in his arms, but not made a move... at least not an overt, obvious one. For the first time, he found he wasn’t prepared to do anything too forward, but he knew Annie had been surprised by his insistence they stay in bed...and that damned kiss he hadn’t been able to help.

Annie was his best friend, his tether to reality. Auggie had learned early that if he wanted to keep himself out of true darkness, he had to keep his perspective. Yes, Iraq had been a cluster fuck. He had lost his vision. Losing Natasha had been the shove into the sandbox. But there was still a reason to live. He was alive and others from his unit weren’t. His mother hadn’t had to accept a folded flag in place of her son.

Then there was Annie. Auggie knew he had been attracted to her from day one. The smell of her perfume, her laugh, the way that she had so seamlessly been able to work with him, no “dealing with the blind guy” learning curve. Interoffice dating was encouraged, and it was no secret Auggie had worked his way through a number of the DPD’s agents. But with those women, they had seen Auggie as damaged goods. None of them had wanted a relationship with him, and that had worked for Auggie’s purposes. He hadn’t wanted complicated emotions, and he hadn’t gotten them.

But Annie... Annie Walker made Auggie wonder what on earth he was doing with all the random women from the bars. He sighed, remembering the way her body had molded to his so effortlessly. Annie wasn’t the kind of woman he could take home for just a night. She was more than that.

The trouble was, Auggie didn’t know how to behave around her anymore. He could tell she had started dancing around him since Stockholm, but he chalked that up to his behavior on her return. Annie had needed a friend more than ever, but Auggie had hopped a plane to Africa all the same.

The careful friendship line between them was also problematic. Having a true friend was something Auggie couldn’t take for granted. What if it went south? What if he lost Annie all together? Auggie hadn’t felt so close to anyone since his unit in Iraq.

Plus there was the matter of not knowing her feelings. He had been trained to read people and their emotions, but Annie had been trained to deceive. Yet as of late, there seemed to be something more. Annie tended to touch him more these days. And there had been that damn comment from her sister about her voice. Auggie had nearly thought it his imagination when he had discovered her wearing his T-shirt, never mind when he had woken to her gentle caress. But she was so guarded all the time, it was impossible to decipher. Auggie didn’t have the benefit of her facial expressions. What was she thinking? Or feeling?

He sat back from his screen, frustration mounting. There wasn’t a woman out there Auggie hadn’t managed to claim for himself when he set his mind to it, but he couldn’t chase Annie. She had been with him in too many bars, seen him with other women. Turning up the charm with her would only make her suspicious. Besides, he had already figured out he didn’t want to treat her like those other women. Annie wasn’t one-night-stand material and he knew it.

But he had to do something. It was becoming more and more difficult to know about the other men in her life. Auggie hadn’t been fond of Ben Mercer even before the man had broken Annie’s heart. He could hear that snake Jai Wilcox flirt with her every chance he got. Then there had been the doctor, Scott, who he had only found out about after months of Annie dating the guy. He knew logically he had no right to be so jealous; Annie had watched him work his way through a string of women over the last few years without a word.

Of course, if she had said something, Auggie would have dropped any of them. Even Parker...if Annie had just asked him to stay in DC, he knew he would have.

 _Fine mess you’ve made for yourself, Anderson_ , he thought reluctantly, forcing himself to turn his attention back to organizing Annie’s Copenhagen meet. He knew he should have made a move that morning in her bedroom. Annie had been soft and gentle, comfortable in his arms. She hadn’t pulled away when he had kissed her forehead, and he wondered if he could have easily turned that kiss to something more.

But wouldn’t that have defeated the point? Auggie hadn’t wanted to seduce her in that particular moment. He had been filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude that such a woman could put up with him and his moods. He knew damn well that he could be a real bastard when the headaches got bad and he was days without sleep. Anyone would have been well within their rights to tell him just what to do with his apology, but not Annie...Annie had simply maintained her concern for him.

The sound of Annie’s heels on the tile brought Auggie out of his thoughts. He breathed deeply, savoring the scent of her perfume. Following the direction of her steps, he turned to her with a smile. “Excited to get back out there, Walker?”

“Excited to see Copenhagen!”

“Better pack your sneakers. Lots of cobblestones. It’s an old city.”

Annie laughed, and he could hear the rustle of fabric as she settled herself on his desk. “Don’t you worry about me, Auggie. I’ll show those streets who’s boss.”

“I bet you will.” Resisting the urge to make any further comment on Annie’s choice of footwear, he turned back to his computer. Running his fingers over the Braille reader, he told her, “Your flight is out of Reagan tomorrow at eleven-hundred. You fly to Amsterdam and then to Copenhagen.”

“I guess I better go pack then.”

“None of those shorts, Walker. It’s supposed to be much cooler there.”

“Aw, I thought you liked my shorts,” Annie teased back, her heels clicking against the tile as she stood to leave.

Auggie couldn’t help himself. He blushed bright red, grateful the Tech Ops office was empty save for the two of them. Annie was definitely flirting with him now, but of course it was right before she was set to leave again. The last thing Auggie wanted was to declare himself with no time to sort out the ramifications of such a move.

“Be safe,” he said instead, reaching out to her. His hand connected with her arm, and he traced his fingers down her soft skin to squeeze her hand. “I promise not to be such a dick when you come back this time.”

“I’ll hold you to it,” she said in a light reply, squeezing back before letting his hand go. Auggie swore her steps out of the office weren’t half as steady as they had been coming in.

 


	8. In Which Danish is More Than a Pastry

8\. In Which Danish is More Than a Pastry

* * *

 

Annie packed methodically. She had it down to a science with all the traveling she did, and though the seasons and climates differed, the contents of her bag were fairly standard. A nice dress, items that layered easily, a few pairs of heels, yoga pants and a T-shirt for the inevitable waiting around, undergarments and toiletries, all regulated down to three ounces or less. Annie wondered why she even bothered to unpack anymore.

A quick trip to her safehouse to gather up cash and Annie was done before dinner. She took the opportunity to have a rare home-cooked meal fresh from the stove with her sister and nieces, excitedly chattering about Copenhagen and the Viking artifacts she was supposedly being sent to retrieve for the Smithsonian. Michael was absent, but that wasn’t anything unusual. The girls happily begged for new and interesting presents, but Danielle kept eyeing her suspiciously. It wasn’t until the girls had gone to bed that Annie finally found out why.

“Didn’t you just get back?” Danielle asked as she washed the dishes. Annie stood next to her, drying each pan as Danielle finished with it.

“Yeah, but Venice was easy. Copenhagen should be too. I think my boss is trying to give me easy stuff since Stockholm and London.” An unspoken shiver went through both of them. Danielle remembered all too vividly the look on her baby sister’s face, the gun still smoking in her hand. She had never been more terrified of Annie’s job than at that moment. “Besides,” Annie continued, “I was in DC for a long time before Venice. I think it was some kind of probation for screwing up London so badly.” Annie hadn’t given her sister the details, but Danielle knew it hadn’t gone well in the city across the pond. That didn’t help her growing apprehension at her sister’s career choice.

“I guess.” Danielle handed over the last pan, turning off the water and drying her hands on another towel. Determined to put the unpleasant thoughts from her mind, she turned to what in her mind was a much happier topic. “So...are we ever going to talk about Auggie spending the night?” she asked with a knowing grin.

Annie groaned loudly, setting the last dish on the counter to be put away. “If I said no, would you let it go?”

“Not a chance.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. Nothing happened,” Annie mumbled, hating how red her cheeks felt. Danielle’s eyes were narrowed, and Annie knew she was in for a grilling.

“A gorgeous man you have feelings for spends the night, and you want me to believe nothing happened?”

“Well, it’s true!” Annie fought the urge to be cross with her sister. Danielle was teasing her about a boy. It was the most normal thing in the world, and Annie knew her sister would much rather focus on her romantic life than what she was doing while jetting around the world.

“Did you give him back his shirt yet?”

“How do you even know about that?”

“I’ll take that as a no. And you didn’t get all the powers of observation in this family!” Danielle leaned back against the counter, studying her younger sister. Annie’s cheeks were flushed, but her eyes sparkled. Danielle could tell she was fighting a smile. “Has he asked for it back?”

“Sort of...” Annie covered her face with her hands, fighting the urge to laugh. It was like they were in high school all over again. It felt good.

“What does that mean?”

“He noticed it when he spent the night. We were going to sleep, and he asked if it would be ‘ungentlemanly’ to ask for it back right then,” Annie admitted, examining the pattern in the floor tile.

“Wait, how did he even know you were wearing it?”

“Danielle...”

“Annie Walker! What are you hiding?”

“It was really late when he came over. He kind of snapped at me when I was at the office, but he’d been up for days. I said some things I shouldn’t have, he didn’t react well. He came over to apologize. It was so late that I didn’t want to drive across town to bring him home, so I told him to crash. But then he just looked so tired, and that couch really isn’t that big and you know how tall he is, so he slept in my bed with me, but nothing happened, Dani.”

“Nothing at all? He stayed on one side of the bed and you stayed on the other?”

“Not quite.”

“Stop evading. What happened?”

“Nothing happened! He put his arm around me. I don’t know, Danielle, it was so late, and we were both so tired. I mean, I know it’s not what friends do, sleeping like that, and he told me a little bit more about his life before the accident, but...it doesn’t really mean anything. Auggie goes through women like water.” Annie wasn’t going to elaborate on what Auggie had told her. In her mind, that was his story to tell. Besides, Annie wasn’t entirely sure the whole story was unclassified.

“So...he sleeps around, but he didn’t make a single move with you the entire time he was in your bedroom?”

“Not a one. He tried to apologize again in the morning, but I told him to just forget it. He gave me a hug and kissed my forehead.” Annie ignored Danielle’s “aww” as she continued to avoid her gaze. “But that’s just Auggie, Danielle. I can’t make more of it than it is.”

“I don’t think so,” Danielle immediately disagreed, unable to stop the smile overtaking her face. She had met Auggie a handful of times, and she didn’t doubt for a minute that the two of them would make a great couple. Danielle had figured out that Auggie’s tour of the Smithsonian had been a favor to Annie not long after being read in – and that wasn’t the sort of favor you did for anyone, CIA or otherwise. “Have you ever considered that he simply doesn’t see you as one of those one-night-stand girls? Maybe he’s trying to be respectful? Didn’t you say he came over to apologize? Maybe he didn’t want you to think he was just trying to get you to forget about whatever it was he did. You should talk to him.”

“When? I’m leaving for Denmark in the morning. I shouldn’t be gone more than a week, but I’m sure I’ll be off again right after that. The assignment in Italy might turn into something more long term. It’s not like we’re going to talk about it on a company phone.”

“Make time, Annie. You owe it to yourself.”

Danielle’s words echoed in Annie’s thoughts the next day as she pulled out her phone to check in from her Copenhagen hotel room. She had another fantastic view of the water, and made note to thank Auggie for it.

“Godmorgen,” Auggie greeted her call in a terrible accent. As tired as she was from traveling all through the night, Annie couldn’t help but laugh.

“Your Danish is awful,” she told him, flopping back on the bed. She kicked off her heels, staring up at the molding along the ceiling.

“I guess I better just stick to the pastry from now on,” he replied in English this time. “Of course you know how those go straight to my thighs.”

“Bullshit. I don’t think there’s an ounce of fat on you. Must be nice.”

“You would know, Walker, all that time feeling me up the other night.”

Annie bit her lip, suddenly unsure of how to reply. What on earth could she say back to that? “Didn’t hear you complaining,” she fired back after a pause, hoping that whoever listened to the recording would chalk it up to their usual banter.

“You won’t ever hear me complaining,” Auggie’s reply came across the line a beat later, his voice dropping. It sent a shiver through Annie that had nothing to do with the ocean breeze coming through her window.

“Me neither,” she finally muttered, squeezing her eyes shut. Her heart thumped in her chest, the conversation leading dangerously closer to previously forbidden territory.

“Giving me permission to feel you up, Walker? I’m going to remember that.” His tone was light, but Annie swore she heard a charged undertone in the words.

“What do you call our sparring sessions?”

“Kicking your ass.”

And just like that, the tension went out of the conversation. Auggie mentioned a few restaurants near her hotel he had heard were good, gave her directions to the museum nearby, and told her to wait for further details on the meet. It was the usual protocol, and as Annie listened to Auggie’s soothing voice coming across the line, she wished life could be a little less complicated.    

Forgoing sleep, Annie spent the day exploring her surroundings, making note of which streets led both to and from the hotel. The maze of bridges and waterways reminded her of Venice, and she recalled all too well the previously failed op and bruised ribs. It wouldn’t do to have a repeat. This time, if she had to run, Annie promised herself she would be better prepared.

While she scoped out her surroundings, she picked up some chocolate for Danielle in a gift shop and other snacks from a local grocer to stock her hotel room. She spent the afternoon simply strolling through the historic city, comfortable in her short-sleeves and slacks. It felt good to be out of oppressively hot DC.

Then for days, she waited. Other than occasional trips to the Nationalmuseet to uphold her Smithsonian cover for anyone watching, Annie spent a good deal of time ordering room service. She counted herself lucky she was a fan of seafood, as most of the fare favored the local catch. But waiting was Annie’s least favorite part of her job. She paced her room, practiced her yoga, did countless sit-ups, and contemplated how to behave when she saw Auggie again.

 _I’ll talk to him when I get back_ , she told herself repeatedly. _I’ll tell him how I feel. He’s showed signs he feels the same. I can’t be imagining all of it._ Annie thought back to the feel of his lips on her forehead and sighed. Being with Auggie would always be complicated – they worked together, and their work was dangerous. Auggie had saved her life countless times, either by talking her through a difficult op, or arranging an extraction when things went bad beyond repair. Would they be able to separate out work priorities with personal ones? Annie didn’t want to put Auggie in a position where he ever had to make a call that could cost her her life.

Never mind the complications of Auggie himself. Annie knew she was closer to him than anyone else left in his life. Auggie held himself aloof from everyone, and even with how close she had gotten, Annie knew he still kept a lot hidden from her. That he had only recently told her about his latest visit to the doctor’s was proof of that, as was the ugliness she had seen from him the other night. Annie didn’t want to be with someone who couldn’t open themselves up to her entirely, but was Auggie capable of letting down the last barriers? Would he be able to be honest with her when he was having a bad day?

 _Getting ahead of yourself, Walker_ , Annie told herself firmly as she pushed through another set of crunches. _Stop worrying about what might happen. You don’t even know that Auggie wants the same things you do._

Annie was happy once she finally met her contact. The exchange, surprisingly, went smoothly. Annie had expected trouble after Venice had gone off easily, but trouble had decided to give her a break. Her debrief with Joan was fast, and Annie was on her way out of the DPD within an hour. Auggie had already left for the day, which was a mild disappointment, but Annie told herself she would see him the next day. She briefly debated stopping by his apartment, but when he didn’t answer his cell, she figured that was far too forward. She forced herself to admit that she was just disappointed he hadn’t waited for her to return.

When Auggie still wasn’t at the office the next morning, Annie started to worry. It was unlike him to not answer his phone, and even more unlikely for him to be absent from the office. Annie spent half the day with her eye on the door of Tech Ops, expecting to see the greenish light of Auggie’s laser cane sweeping down the hall any moment. He never turned up, and Annie got nothing done.

By the following morning, Annie’s worry was turning to anger. Why hadn’t he returned any of her calls? Had she imagined everything? Maybe she had been right in the beginning – maybe she was imagining things that weren’t there. Maybe Auggie wanted nothing more than her friendship. Maybe after years of so carefully keeping his secrets locked up, he really wasn’t ready to let anyone in.

Joan called Annie to her office after lunch, handing over a thick file and gesturing for her to take a seat. “We’re sending you to Istanbul later this week,” she said by way of introduction. “Adrian’s intel lined up with other sources, leading us to believe that a planned meet in Turkey could confirm key players in the smuggling of arms from Syria. This is intelligence gathering only, Annie. You are not to engage any of them. We’re sending you in alone. A separate Special Forces team will be sent to take them into custody if that becomes necessary. Do you understand?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“You could be in Turkey for awhile. You are traveling under an alias as a buyer for an antiques dealer based out of Georgetown. The shop is an agency front, and you will need to stop by tomorrow to gather some background. Linger in the shop and do your best to be seen. We picked it specifically because you and your sister have been known to stop by. I don’t need to explain to you how suspicious arms dealers can be if they suspect a spy in their midst.” Annie sat with her spine straight and shoulders back, meeting Joan’s demanding gaze head on. A twinge of anger reared as she thought about the agency spying on her, but that was the job. She wasn’t going to change it, and Joan wasn’t going to care.

There was a pause before Joan continued, “This will be a more dangerous operation than the last few. If it gets too hot, you need to get out of there. If you even suspect you’ve been made, call for an extraction. I had Auggie build several contingencies into this.”

“Where is he, by the way?” Annie asked before she could stop herself. A troubled look flashed across Joan’s features before they settled back into their usual cool expression.

“Auggie took a few days off.”

“Will he be back in time to run this op?”

“He should be. If not, Barber has been read in and is ready to handle it.”

Annie resisted the urge to tell Joan she didn’t give a shit if Barber had been read in or not. This was plainly a dangerous mission, and Annie wanted Auggie in her ear. She didn’t doubt that Barber, or even Stu for that matter, was fully capable. Auggie wouldn’t have tolerated them in Tech Ops for the last few years if they weren’t, but they weren’t Auggie.

Knowing Joan didn’t want to hear about any of that either, Annie kept silent. She wanted to press for more details. Auggie hadn’t mentioned a vacation, and he hadn’t sounded sick the last time she had spoken to him from the airport in Amsterdam. Tired, yes, but not sick. Wouldn’t he have mentioned a vacation? She had spoken to him just before taking off and he hadn’t mentioned a thing.

“When do I leave?” she asked instead, forcing herself to swallow everything else.

“The day after tomorrow, oh-eight-hundred. Report to the airfield. You’ll be taking an agency plane over that’s assigned to the antiques shop for just these sorts of ops. On the return flight, the cargo hold will bring back antiques for the shop, but you will need to examine them in flight. Documents will be concealed within the pieces.”

Annie nodded, rising to leave. She knew everything else she needed was contained in the folder clasped tightly in her hands. She intended to study it at her desk for the remainder of the afternoon before heading home to pack. Resolving to focus on work and not Auggie’s strange absence, Annie headed for the door.

“He’s in the district, as far as I know,” Joan called out right before Annie’s hand hit the doorknob. When Annie turned back to her boss, Joan was smiling. “Annie, I was a field agent for many years before I sat behind this desk.” As Annie opened her mouth to reply, Joan cut her off again. “Don’t try telling me you don’t know what I’m talking about. I told Arthur I wouldn’t interfere, but it’s difficult to watch you two.”

“Joan, I...”

“He lets you in more than anyone else. Auggie’s never let people get all that close to him, even before Iraq. Don’t let him push you away.”

“Why isn’t he here?”

“I made him take a few days off.”

“Why?”

“Perspective.”

“I don’t understand.”

Joan smiled again, but this time it was a secretive smile that only prompted more questions Annie knew she wouldn’t answer. “I didn’t either, at first. But you’re a smart girl, Annie.”

Annie turned around to leave, sensing the dismissal in Joan’s voice. As she made her way back to her desk, she mulled over the conversation. Did everyone in the DPD insist on speaking in code? Couldn’t anyone ever just speak plainly? Annie was tired of having her head spun about.

Joan had definitely been hint dropping. Annie knew she should have been embarrassed that her boss knew something was up between her and Auggie, but that wasn’t what was bothering her. It was the way in which Joan seemed to hint she knew much more about the situation than even Annie herself. Annie knew Joan and Arthur had gotten together as field agents, so maybe Joan was just projecting her own past onto Annie’s situation. Of course, even if that was true, how to take it was another matter all together.

Vowing to set it aside to deal with another time, Annie opened the file and began reading up on the men she was going to be following about Istanbul. She recognized the names, which in her line of work was not an appealing prospect. All were big players in the arms smuggling business, and all were known to travel with substantial security. Knowing that getting close to them would likely mean playing a ditzy blonde in a short skirt, Annie began to mentally rearrange her wardrobe for the trip. Her cover was that of a professional shopper, so the dumb blonde angle was as good as any. Annie hated making herself appear stupid, but she had quickly learned that people paid a whole lot less attention to her when they thought she possessed all of three brain cells.

But after an hour of reading, accompanied by both foot and pencil tapping, Annie couldn’t sit still anymore. Auggie hadn’t responded to any calls, texts, or emails since she had arrived back in the States, and Annie was moving from annoyed to seriously pissed off. Who went off the grid without so much as a word to their friends? Something had obviously happened. Joan wouldn’t have forced him to take time off over nothing.

Getting into her car, Annie decided that enough was enough. She tried calling Auggie once more, but it went straight to voicemail. “For the record, this is the exact opposite of not being a dick,” she said by way of a message before ending the call and tossing her phone onto her passenger seat.

Despite the traffic, Annie made it from Langley into Adams Morgan fairly quickly. The driving course they taught out at the Farm was just as good for dodging traffic jams as it was for evading terrorists.

And those lock picking skills? Also great for getting into the apartment of a friend who couldn’t be bothered to answer the door.

“Auggie?” Annie called into the dark apartment. Jazz was quietly playing from Auggie’s surround sound, so she knew he couldn’t be far. “Hey, I tried calling you a bunch of times. Ever heard of answering the phone?” She did her best to keep her tone even, but she was too angry to be nice.

“Ever heard of taking a hint?” Auggie’s voice floated out of the darkness, and as her eyes adjusted, Annie spotted him sitting on the couch, his feet up on the coffee table. Squinting, Annie could tell he was in a very un-Auggie ensemble of sweats and two day’s worth of stubble. Several empty beer bottles were littered across the table, joined by what looked like a half empty bottle of whiskey.

Ignoring Auggie’s question, she stepped further into the apartment, coming to a stop behind the couch. “What’s with the binge drinking?” she asked, trying her best to keep the question from sounding like an accusation.

“If I wanted to talk about it, I would have answered the phone.” Auggie didn’t sound overly pleased to have her in his apartment, but his voice lacked the biting tone she had been bracing for. If anything, he sounded mildly annoyed.

“Don’t be an asshole.” Mildly annoyed didn’t even begin to cover how Annie felt. She didn’t much enjoy having to pick the lock to his door in order to find out what was going on with her best friend.

“Sorry, Annie, that seems to be all I’m good for as of late.” There was the sarcasm she had known was coming.

“Auggie, listen to me. You need to cut the crap. Whatever the hell is going on here, I want an explanation. I deserve one. And if you don’t want to give me one, I’m leaving.”

He sighed, his eyes closing and his head lolling back onto the arm of the couch. “Joan made me take a few days. I’m just enjoying them.”

“Wrong answer, try again.”

“You just won’t give up, will you, Walker?”

“Not when it comes to you, Anderson.”

“You should, you know. Give up.”

“Not happening. Now what’s going on? Why did Joan banish you?”

“You.” He said the word simply, as if it were the most obvious answer, but Annie was only more confused.

“Me?” she asked when he failed to explain any further. Apparently she was going to have to drag it out of him.

“Yes, Annie, you. According to Joan, I can’t be objective when it comes to you. I’ve lost my perspective.” Annie would have lashed back out at the comment if not for the pain she heard in his voice. It was buried under his mocking impersonation of Joan’s directives, but I was there.

“You know I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said instead, forcing her voice to remain level. She succeeded – barely – but her heart was racing. Was this about to be it, the moment of truth?

“Istanbul.”

“What about it?”

“I don’t want you to go.”

“Why?”

“Too dangerous.”

“Auggie, all my missions are dangerous. You know that.”

“I do.”

“Then why are you against this one?”

He sighed, swinging his legs off the table and patting the spot next to him. “You better sit down.”

“Why?”

“You have less room to wind up to punch me sitting down.” Auggie didn’t laugh, which bothered Annie more than anything else. Reluctantly, she made her way around the couch to settle next to him. That close, she could smell the whiskey on his breath. How much he had had to drink was anyone’s guess, but he wasn’t slurring his words.

“I know we keep coming back to this, but you haven’t dealt with Stockholm. Not really.”

“Auggie, the shrinks cleared me. I’m fine.”

“You’re not. If someone came at you, you would hesitate, because the way it felt to take a life is too fresh for you. That hesitation will get you killed.”

“I’ve dealt with it, Auggie. You’re worried over nothing.” Even as Annie said the words, she could practically smell the acrid smoke from the gun, hear the bang of the shot.

“Have you been to the shooting range?”

“No, but...”

“But nothing. You rode horses as a kid, right? When you got thrown, you got back on that horse, didn’t you? This is no different, except you’re not riding. You’re avoiding.”

Annie sighed, not so much wanting to punch him as she had suspected, but instead weary in a way she hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Talk to me, Annie,” Auggie implored after a long pause. He shifted closer to her, dropping one hand onto her leg. She half-expected some off-color comment about her skirt, but Auggie didn’t say a word as he waited for her.

She had promised herself she would come clean, but in her mind, that could wait. Auggie was willing to listen, in a way he hadn’t been when she had come back from Stockholm. Annie hesitated, but in the end she gave in. It wasn’t like she could talk to Danielle about any of it – the nightmares, the anxiety, the crushing guilt of having taken a life.

“I know he would have killed Danielle, and me, if I hadn’t shot,” she began slowly. “But I can’t forget it, Auggie. You’re right, I haven’t been to the range. I haven’t wanted to touch a gun. I want the nightmares to stop. I want to stop feeling like I’ve committed some sort of atrocious crime, and I’m just sitting here getting away with it. Murder is a crime in every country I can think of, but I shot a man, and all I got was a pat on the back.”

“You stayed alive. You kept your sister alive. That’s the good job done.”

“But I could have shot him somewhere else. I could have shot his knees. He would have fallen. He wouldn’t be dead.”

“When you shoot, you shoot to kill. A gun is your last defense. When it comes to that, you shoot to kill, Walker. You come back alive.” Auggie had shifted on the couch to face her, and as his voice had grown thicker, his grip on her hand had tightened.

“How did you get past it?” Annie finally asked, staring down at their entwined hands. It was too dark in Auggie’s apartment to see them, but she knew his hands bore fine scars, evidence of the explosion in Iraq and countless other scrapes, lives taken.

“Time,” he answered honestly. He paused, sighing before going on. “I remember every one of them, Annie. I can’t – and won’t – lie to you. They never leave. But I did what I had to do to survive. I came home alive, even when I maybe shouldn’t have. I think it’s an ugly world we live in where I had to make that choice, where you still have to make that choice out in the field, but it’s reality. I’m not much of an optimist these days.”

“I wish I disagreed with you, but I don’t.” Annie took a deep breath, leaning back against the couch cushions. She didn’t unclasp her hand from Auggie’s. “I told Danielle when we were in Stockholm that I stay calm when things get bad by thinking of her and the girls. I have to. If I can’t force myself to remember the things worth living for back home, then the panic comes. I didn’t need the Farm to teach me that panic will only get me killed in this line of work.”

“You’ve got a good head on your shoulders. You wouldn’t have made it through the first year without it.”

“Thanks, Auggie.” Annie took a deep breath, forcing out the next words. “But that doesn’t explain to me Istanbul. Why did you go up against Joan for me, Auggie? What did you say to her she made you take this time off?”

“She said I needed to gain some perspective. Mostly about you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t want you to go to Istanbul, because I’m afraid for you. I’m afraid you’re not ready, and that you won’t come back,” Auggie answered after what felt like an endless pause.

“I’m coming back, Auggie.” She did her best to sound convincing, giving his hand an extra squeeze of reassurance. “I’m good at this. It’s why I do it.”

“I just have a bad feeling about this one.”

“Would you feel better if I went to the range tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“Then that’s what I’ll do.”

“Thank you.”

 _Now or never, Walker_ , Annie told herself, taking a deep breath and slowly letting the air out. Her eyes had adjusted to the light, and Annie could see the dark circles still marring Auggie’s expression. He looked like a man who had been on a binge, and that worried Annie more than she cared to admit. Was now really the best time to bring all of it up?

“Auggie...the other night,” she began, resisting the urge to reclaim her hand from his. She was certain he could feel the way her pulse was racing under her skin. “When you stayed...”

“What about it?” he asked when it became clear Annie wasn’t going to continue without prompting. His voice was soft, encouraging. Annie eyed the bottle of whiskey on the table, wondering if liquid courage would be needed.

“I...I know that we crossed some kind of line, and...”

“You want to uncross it?” Auggie interjected, his voice suddenly cool. His grip on Annie’s hand loosened, his posture stiffening.

“No! Auggie... Are you really going to force me to say it?”

“Say what?” Auggie’s frustration was becoming more and more apparent in the sharpening of his tone. “You’re confusing me, Annie. I don’t get it.” 

“How can you not?”

“Annie, please.”

“I have feelings for you,” she whispered, wishing the floor would swallow her up. This was far worse than how this conversation had ever gone in her head. In some of the better versions, Auggie’s strong arms would be around her by now, her hands in his messy hair.

Her words stilled him. Auggie sat motionless, his face a mess of emotions, but Annie was too scared to look at him. Instead, she looked at her feet. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she thought about how she had been less scared jumping out of airplanes or running for her life than waiting on Auggie’s reply.

“How long?” he finally asked, his voice strangled.

“Probably from the day we met. But since I figured it out? Stockholm.”

“That day you came over here, after Joan gave you the okay to go back into the field, and you told me what your sister had said...about your voice...and I just went on about the medical trial...”

“I let you. I didn’t want to talk about it.” Annie shifted her weight on the couch cushions, still refusing to look up. She wanted nothing more than to leave. “There, that’s what I was trying to say, that day, and today. I feel a little foolish now, so I think I’m just going to go pack for Istanbul.”

“No.”

“What do you mean, no?” Annie snapped, finally looking up. What she saw in Auggie’s eyes stunned her. Wonder, confusion, and maybe...love?

But Auggie still didn’t speak. Instead, he reached out for her shoulder and pulled her up against him. He wrapped that arm securely around her waist, the other hand resting on her neck, his long fingers tangling in her hair as he slowly brought his mouth to hers. As their lips met, Annie sighed, her body falling forward to press against his.

That was all the encouragement Auggie needed. He easily maneuvered Annie around until her back was pressed into the couch cushions. Once he had her pinned, his kisses became more urgent, his touch more frantic as he skimmed his fingers across her body. He tasted of whiskey, but not in an unpleasant way. Combined with his cologne and the scent of his skin, Annie felt overwhelmed. When they finally broke apart, they were both panting.

“I...” Auggie laughed quietly, leaning his forehead against hers. “I never thought...”

“Thought what?”

“Annie, that first day you walked into Langley, I knew you were special. It sounds stupid coming out of my mouth, especially given everything you’ve witnessed these last few years. But you’ve never made me feel lesser. You listened to me from the beginning and made me feel comfortable even when you were brand new to the agency. You’re a gorgeous, intelligent woman, and you could have anyone...”

“I want you,” she replied firmly, pressing her lips to his again before pulling away. “And while I appreciate the compliment, you can’t see me, Auggie.”

“Not with my eyes, no, but...” He skimmed his fingers over her eyelids, down the curve of her cheek and over her full lips. Lightly, he traced her collarbones and across her breasts, making Annie shiver, before he settled his grip on her waist. “But I can feel these gorgeous curves you have. And the guys talk, Annie. I know you’ve got skin like peaches and cream, and long blonde hair...” He pressed a kiss to her throat, the other hand tangling in her hair. “I know that you smell amazing.”

“But then why...the rotating round of women...Parker...?”

Auggie pulled back, a serious expression overtaking his features. “I’m not ever going to be able to fully explain that. I was looking for something, I guess, but I never had any idea what. I never thought...you could have anyone. Why pick the blind guy?”

“Because he’s one of the best men I’ve ever met. He’s always there when I need him. He once waited an entire night in a hospital just to make sure I was okay. He has a killer sense of humor. And he may not be able to look in the mirror anymore, but he has to know that he hasn’t lost a bit of that Special Forces body.” Annie ran her hands up his arms and down his chest as she spoke, luxuriating in the ability to touch him wherever she pleased.

Auggie bent to kiss her again, pressing the length of his body to hers. “Stay,” he whispered as they broke apart. “I’m not saying I expect anything...just stay tonight. Pack tomorrow.”

“Auggie....are you sure?” Annie wanted nothing more than to stay, but everything was so new. She was leaving in two days. Was it really the right time for her to be spending the night?

“Never been more sure. I want you, Annie, I want you in every way I can imagine, but tonight I’m happy to just have you here.”

“I don’t have any clothes for tomorrow.”

“Add to your collection of mine.”

“Danielle will wonder...”

“Annie, if you don’t want to stay...”

“No! I want to. I just...what is Joan going to say?”

“I’m pretty sure she already knows,” he said with a chuckle, brushing his lips against Annie’s ear as she shivered. “I told you on day one, interoffice dating is encouraged. I think Joan will be happy for us.” Auggie pulled away slightly, but kept his hand on her waist. “Stay?”

“Yeah, Auggie. I’m staying.”


	9. In Which We Are Black And We Are White

9\. In Which We Are Black And We Are White

* * *

 

Waking up in Auggie’s arms the next morning, his bedroom dark and the scent of his cologne on her skin, Annie couldn’t help but smile. They had stayed up half the night listening to music and talking about Annie’s upcoming op. By the time they had gone to bed, Auggie had seemed much more comfortable with Annie’s trip.

It hadn’t stopped him from kissing her senseless all the same.

Annie sighed as she pressed closer to Auggie’s warm body. She had stolen another of his shirts to wear to bed, but her legs were bare as she threw one over his. Their night had been mostly innocent, though Annie’s lips still felt pleasantly swollen. A part of her had been surprised when Auggie had stopped them before anything further happened, but as she felt him stirring awake, she knew it had been for the best.

Every touch had sent her skin on fire, but the previous night had nearly been an emotional overload. Annie had spent months trying to bury her feelings for Auggie, who had spent years trying to keep her just far enough away to prevent developing a relationship beyond friendship. Being in his arms, feeling his mouth on hers and tangling her hands in his hair, Annie had been waiting for the dream to end.

There was plenty she knew they should probably talk about. To start, Annie knew she needed to make herself clear to Auggie that if they were going to do this, they were going to do it right. No secrets and definitely no going behind her back to Joan over ops he didn’t like. Not to mention all the things about him she still didn’t know. Auggie rarely spoke about his family, and other than the one brother he had read in, Annie knew virtually nothing about them, or Glencoe, or what sort of life he’d led before the accident.

Auggie’s fingers sliding up under her shirt to dance across her back pulled Annie from her thoughts. She instinctively jerked away as he found the ticklish spot near the small of her waist, but pulling away from his touch only pressed her closer to the rest of his body. She could practically hear his smirk.

“Not fair,” she mumbled into his chest as his touch turned firmer, pulling Annie tighter against him.

“I never said I was fair,” Auggie replied, voice thick with sleep. He pulled his other hand free of the sheets, tilting her head back to capture her lips in a sweet kiss. Annie shifted her weight further over his body as their kisses turned heated, wondering just how much time Joan had meant for her to spend in the antiques shop.

Auggie deftly maneuvered them over until Annie was beneath him, one hand reaching down to the smooth, exposed skin of her thigh while the other cradled her neck. Annie closed her eyes and drank it all in, savoring the feeling of his weight on her, the way his calloused hands so lightly ran over her skin.

“I can’t remember the last time I didn’t want to get out of bed so badly,” Auggie murmured in her ear, settling his weight into his elbows and brushing his fingers across Annie’s cheeks. Annie savored the feeling; for workaholic Auggie, the declaration meant something.

“Joan wants me to go to the antiques dealer in Georgetown today.”

“And the shooting range.”

“And the shooting range,” Annie agreed, unable to stop her lips from twitching up into a smile.

“What’s that smile for?” Auggie asked, running his thumb over the curve of her lips before resuming the trail of kisses across her neck.

“Who talks about guns in bed?”

Auggie laughed quietly, pressing his nose into her hair and breathing in the delicious scent of her. “Us.”

“Mmm...” Annie’s eyes were still closed as Auggie ran his fingers along her shoulder, up her neck, and then down across her collarbones to repeat the process on the other side. As his touch skimmed over her cheekbones, Annie sighed in contentment. She didn’t have to ask to know what Auggie was doing, tracing the shapes of her features to memorize their contours. Knowing only made it feel more intimate, as if she were posing before him for a nude portrait. His fingers may have been tracing her eyes, her nose, her lips, but Annie felt completely exposed. She found she didn’t much mind. 

“You’re perfect, Annie Walker.” Auggie leaned forward to press another chaste kiss to her lips before pulling away. As he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, Annie came up behind him, looping her arms over his shoulders and around his neck. Pushing herself up on her knees, she pressed a kiss to his shoulder, noticing the spattering of freckles his summer tan had brought out.

“I’m not perfect, Auggie. Not by a long shot.”

“You are to me.”

Annie sighed, sliding her arms down his back as he leaned over to pull on his jeans. She ran the tips of her fingers over the tattoo centered on his back, tracing the fine lines of the sword point centered between his shoulder blades, the arrows reaching up and out. Every time she saw it, the tattoo sent her thoughts spiraling in two directions – Auggie’s strength, but also everything he had lost. “Auggie...”

He heard the shift in her tone, and picking up on the trace of sadness, sat back down on the edge of the bed after buttoning his jeans. “Leave it to me to already be screwing this up,” he said wryly, running one hand across the mattress until he found Annie’s.

“No...it’s not that. Not at all. It’s just...when I was a kid, we moved a lot. You know that. You were probably listening on that op down in Venezuela when I said this, but... ”

“Not a whole lot gets by me, Walker, but I’m not sure what you’re talking about this time.”

“I never got to keep any of the friends I made growing up. We moved too much. So I used to take a Polaroid of my friends and bury it in the backyard that last day with any other mementoes, when the movers were loading up the boxes. That was my good bye, and I never looked back. Danielle never understood it, but that was how I survived.”

“I’m not letting you make me a picture in a buried box, Annie.” He had meant for the words to come out gently, but it was practically a growl that escaped his lips.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that.” Annie sighed, chewing on her lip as she tried to think of the best way to verbalize the many thoughts running through her mind. “I just don’t want...I want us to be something real. Not perfect like a posed snapshot, but real. So much of my life is about pretending to be someone or something else.”

“Not with me, Annie. Not ever with me.” Auggie leaned forward, brushing a gentle kiss on her mouth before pulling her to her feet. He held her easily to him, one hand on the small of her back, the other on her neck as her arms went around his chest. “When you get back, and we have the time, we can talk about it. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Is this the part where you promise, for real this time, to not be a dick when I get back?” Annie couldn’t help but giggle at the startled expression that crossed his face, glad they were back to being able to joke so easily with one another.

“If you think I’m letting you go off on a dangerous op without seeing you again tonight, you would be very wrong, Walker. I expect you in my bed,” he added, his voice dropping as the hand on her back wandered lower. “And don’t think I’m above picking the lock to the guest house in retaliation for you sneaking in last night.”

“Danielle will call the cops on you,” she teased, leaning back into his grasp to see the smile play across his lips. She brought one hand to his cheek, lightly running her fingers over the coarse stubble. “Especially when you’re in this dire of a need for a shave. Better not go into the office that way.”

Auggie laughed, releasing his hold on her as Annie pulled on her skirt beneath Auggie’s T-shirt. It was a walk of shame outfit, but Annie was too happy to care. If Danielle caught her walking into the guesthouse, she would let her stare. This was all Danielle’s fault, anyway.

“Stealing another of my shirts?” Auggie called after her as she made her way out of the bedroom in search of her shoes. They had lingered in bed, and if she didn’t get her ass moving soon, Joan would be calling. That was the last thing Annie needed.

Annie turned back to Auggie with a smile, leaning in the doorway to admire his shirtless form, his crossed arms only highlighting the muscle tone. “If your goal is to get me to walk around naked, you just have to ask.”

“Tempting offer, but if you do that, we’re not leaving this apartment today.”

“You’re doing a terrible job of discouraging me.”

Annie forced herself to turn away, shaking her head as she made her way back into the living room for her purse, shoes, and blouse she had worn to the office the day before. “I’m leaving, Auggie, before Joan has my head on a platter. I’ll call you when I get done packing tonight.”

Auggie emerged from his bedroom, a towel slung over his shoulder. He moved easily in his own space, crossing the room to where Annie stood. “Already got those heels back on?” he teased, one hand on her hip as he drew her in. She didn’t have time to reply before his mouth was on hers, delivering a searing kiss she felt in her toes. “To make sure you come back,” Auggie said as he pulled away, the same devilish smirk she had seen earlier playing across his lips.

“You gonna answer your phone this time?”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t give me that. I know how tough you are, Anderson.” Annie stretched up to brush one last kiss on his cheek before forcing herself out the door.

Behind her, Auggie stood in the middle of the room, listening to her footsteps fade down the hall. He closed his eyes, savoring the memories of the night before and the subtle scent of grapefruit still on his skin. He wouldn’t be able to see the looks in the office, but he could feel the grin plastered on his face.

Getting to the Tech Ops office was the worst part of Auggie’s day. The laser cane he used in the building couldn’t leave Langley, and Tech Ops was a solid ten minute walk through the endless corridors. Auggie had memorized the walk over the years, fifteen steps left, ten steps right, take the next hallway seven steps further, but in the hustle of the morning rush, it could still turn into a frustrating journey. It was in part why Auggie always came in early, to beat the crowds, but lingering with Annie had put him behind his usual schedule. It was with great relief he settled into his chair and reached for his headphones.

Barely through the mass of emails that had built up over the last few days – including several from Annie – Auggie heard the familiar slide of the doors opening. “Good morning, Joan,” he called, easing off the headphones and turning in what he assumed was her direction.

“I’m going to switch my perfumes and not wear a necklace one of these days just to throw you off,” his boss warned. Auggie heard the rustle of fabric and guessed she had adopted a familiar Joan pose – shoulders back, arms folded, legs planted. Auggie had been breaking in his cover as a hacker the first time he had met Joan, and he doubted he would ever forget the way her eyebrow had arched at him expectantly. “A word, Auggie?”

“Yeah, sure. Now?”

“Now.”

Auggie grabbed his laser cane from the drawer, but took Joan’s arm to follow her to her office. Wondering what was so important it couldn’t even wait for him to get a coffee, he settled into one of the chairs facing Joan’s desk. “What can I do for you, Joan?”

“You’re in a good mood this morning,” she observed, leaning back in her chair and studying her agent. “But a good deal later than usual.”

“You called me in here for being late?” Auggie couldn’t help the incredulousness seeping into his words. “Joan, I don’t even have a set schedule. If I remember correctly, you were the one who told me to take the time off.”

“So I did. I trust you’ve gotten the perspective you needed?”

“Do we have to keep talking in code?”

Joan smiled, shaking her head. “Trust you to cut to the heart of the matter.”

“Soldier first, agent second. Never did care for the intrigue of politics. I’ll leave that to you and Arthur.”

“Fine then. You’ve talked to Annie? No more objections to Istanbul?”

“None that are valid.”

“Interesting choice of words.” Auggie only shrugged in answer. He wasn’t about to admit to Joan that the last thing he wanted was for Annie to go on an op while things were so new between them. What he wanted was to take a very large chunk of his previously unused vacation time and disappear somewhere with her for awhile, preferably somewhere tropical. They were selfish reasons for her to stay in DC, not professional. If he was going to make things work – which he desperately wanted to do – then he would need to learn to tell the difference between the two.

“Anything you need to tell me, Auggie?” Joan finally asked. Auggie could hear the amusement in her voice and couldn’t help but laugh.

“How is it none of you knew about Parker for weeks, but Annie spends one night at my place and you’re full of questions?”

“You haven’t come into this office with a smile like that in years, Auggie. I also know that Annie has yet to report to the shop in Georgetown, even though I expressly told her to spend most of the day there. I know she’s emailed in a request to block off time at the range this afternoon, which is unsurprising to me, but I know your protest to Istanbul was Annie being gun-shy.” Joan paused, taking a long sip from her coffee. Auggie hadn’t said a word, but he was still grinning like a fool.”How am I doing?”

“Just tell me where to sign, Joan.”

Joan wanted to throw her arms around him in happiness, but she had a reputation to uphold. Keeping her expression neutral, but allowing a smile, she slid the form across her desk. “I’ll have Annie sign when she gets back.” She handed him a pen and carefully guided his hand to the appropriate line. The top portion of the form had been translated into Braille, but Auggie didn’t bother reading it. He trusted Joan, and protocol was protocol. “You two make a great team, Auggie. But a piece of advice, if I may?”

Auggie pushed the form back across Joan’s desk, nodding for her to continue.

“As your boss, I’m supposed to tell you to separate your personal life from this job. But the people on the seventh floor who made up that speech haven’t lived it like I have. If you and Annie are going to continue to work together, you just need to learn when to listen to the personal worries over the professional ones. And to remember that Annie is a damn good agent. You won’t win any points by treating her like a damsel in distress.”

“Spoken from experience?”

“Having a successful relationship while doing this job isn’t an easy thing, but I’m sure you already knew that.”

“Relearning everything you know isn’t easy either,” Auggie replied with a rare seriousness. “I never thought I’d get a shot with someone like Annie. I’m not going to throw it away.”

“I’m happy for you, Auggie. For you both.”

“Thank you.” Auggie took a deep breath, uncomfortable with the emotional turn the conversation had taken. He had expected Joan to want the paperwork signed, albeit not so quickly, but he hadn’t expected a heart-to-heart. “Was that all you wanted to see me about?”

“No, that was just the pleasant part.” Joan proceeded to read Auggie in on an op that had started to go south while he had been out. An operative in Mexico had been made by one of the cartels and was currently on the run through the jungle. So far, Stu and Barber had been handling the extraction, but issues with the state department were holding up the process. Joan wanted her agent out of the jungle by whatever means necessary.

Auggie left Joan’s office with a plan. After loading up on coffee, he returned to his office and got to work.

While Auggie was calling in favors and building contingencies, Annie was running around the city. First back to Georgetown to shower and change – and avoid getting into a long conversation with Danielle – then back up out to the antique shop. She spent the rest of the morning there, alternating between making herself visible to shoppers and reading reports in a back room. Her Turkish wasn’t that good, but Istanbul was a major city straddling both Europe and the Middle East. With all the languages she knew, Annie was confident she would be able to make her way around the city unseen when needed. Her antique-shopper cover as a ditzy blonde would lend itself well to her pretending not to speak any language other than English. Americans who couldn’t speak the local language were a dime a dozen.

After a late lunch with the undercover shopkeeper, Annie made her way back out to Langley. She was nervous beyond reason as she entered the range, donning glasses and earplugs. Shooting had been one of the few things Annie had failed to become exceptional at. She had trained long enough at the Farm to be a decent shot, but her scores were nowhere near as impressive as they had been on the driving course. Joan had given her the extra courses she had asked for, but it still hadn’t been enough. Annie had told herself that a gun was always her last resort anyway, so it didn’t matter, but she knew it did. It mattered more than she wanted to think about. Stockholm had proved that.

Standing in front of the paper target, Annie forced herself to take a deep breath as she squared her shoulders and planted her feet.  Closing her eyes for a moment to steady herself, she opened them again to fire off the round. As all eight bullets left the gun, Annie fought the urge to close her eyes against the flash or hold her breath against the smell of gunpowder. Auggie had been right. If someone had pulled a gun on her in Istanbul, she would have hesitated. It would have gotten her killed.

So Annie forced herself to stay at the range until her arms ached with the effort of holding the gun level through round after round. By the time she left, she felt better. She would never forget taking a life, and she knew she shouldn’t, but she would do her job. She would stay alive, even if it meant defending herself again.

She debated stopping by the office to see Auggie but thought better of it. She would see him later, and she didn’t want to start their relationship by being clingy. There was also the part of Annie that wanted to keep whatever small part of it private she could. She knew there would be forms to sign, protocol to follow, and that the agency was just as bad a gossip mill as any corporate office, but if she could delay it, she would. As long as it could be just her and Auggie, that would be perfect.

After a quick stop at the safe house, Annie returned to Georgetown to pack. Still trying to skirt her sister, Annie hurried through the process of packing her bags. She would be gone longer this time, and her cover would require a certain appearance, so plenty of makeup went into the bag along with an even wider variety of shoes. The number of red soles staring up at her made Annie grin. _Nothing quite like an expensive pair of shoes!_

But when everything was packed and Annie called Auggie’s line, he didn’t pick up. He had emailed earlier in the day to explain in brief he would be out of touch most of the day, that there was an op Joan needed him on. He hadn’t said anything about it running into the night, and Annie found herself fighting against her rising temper. He had promised.

She should have stopped in the office when she was there, and she knew it. She could have talked to him, found out what was going on. If Auggie had to work, well that wasn’t exactly great, but Annie knew better than anyone what the job demanded. She wanted to see him before leaving, but they would have plenty of time once she got back from Istanbul. Not knowing was making her crazy.

Annie was about to give up and go to bed when her phone finally rang.

“I’m in a car on the way back to DC. I’m so sorry, Annie. Things got a little crazy, and I didn’t have time to call. I know this is a shitty way to start things.”

“It’s okay,” Annie forced herself to say. She was angry, but not angry enough to have their very first fight be over something so trivial. What she really wanted was for Auggie to put his arms around her and make her feel safe.

“I can have the car bring me to you if you don’t want to drive over.”

“No, it’s okay. I can just drive myself to the airfield tomorrow from your place.” Annie was already moving, gathering her bags and heading for the car. In spite of the late hour, the last light of the summer day was just fading from the night sky. “I’ll leave now. Did you eat? I can pick up take out.” It felt oddly normal to ask Auggie what he wanted for dinner, and Annie wanted to hold on to that feeling.

One stop for Thai food later brought Annie back to Auggie’s door, but this time he readily flung it open. She hadn’t even had a chance to put the bags down before he had her in his arms, his body flush with hers against the door. “Well, hello to you too,” Annie greeted him when he pulled away, breathless from the kiss. “Is that how you welcome everyone to your apartment now?”

“Only the beautiful women.”

“Yeah, I hear there are a lot of those around here.” Annie hadn’t meant for the comment to be so biting, but once the words were out she wished she could take them back.

“Not anymore, Annie. Just you.”

“I know. I’m sorry, it was a stupid thing to say.”

Auggie deftly changed the subject, taking the food from her and asking about her day. They chatted lightly over dinner, comfortably sitting at the island in the kitchen. Auggie seemed pleased with her trip to the range, glad to have helped in some way.

“I don’t like not knowing what’s going on with you,” Annie confessed once they had curled up together in bed. Her head was tucked into the crook of Auggie’s shoulder, her fingers twined with his.

“You mean today, when I was on that op?”

“Yeah.” 

“Annie...”

“I know, I know. You were busy. I get it. I’m not mad...I’m just telling you, I don’t like it.”

Auggie remained silent for a long time. “Every time you go out into the field, I have to accept there will be long periods where I have no contact with you. It’s always been hard, because you were my friend beyond being my agent in the field. I’m sure it will be even harder now. This is what we do.”

“I know.”

They both fell silent, neither knowing what to say. Hating the tension, Auggie set about saying all the things he wanted to but couldn’t by pressing his lips to Annie’s, turning onto his side and pulling her closer. He kissed her until he could feel his self-control waning, her body soft and inviting beside his. But now wasn’t the time, not when they were both tense and emotionally charged. Auggie didn’t want to send her off to Istanbul with their last night one of frantic sex. No, his first time with Annie would be a promise of what was to come, filled with passion. They were both adults, and a part of him – mostly south of his waistband – thought waiting was pointless, but Auggie pulled away from her all the same.

Annie didn’t want him to stop and very nearly told him so. But just as the night before, she knew he was right. They were both exhausted and emotions were still running high. As she forced her breathing to return to normal, Annie snuggled up to Auggie’s warm body with a sigh. “Let’s go away when I come back,” she murmured as she closed her eyes. “I don’t care where. We can go to Virginia Beach for all I care, but let’s go away.”

“Deal,” Auggie replied, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he leaned back into the pillows. His heart was still racing, and he was sure she could hear it pressed to his chest as she was. But Auggie didn’t care. Words had never been his strong suit. As a soldier, he had been a man of action. As a hacker, he had been a man of logic and numbers. His feelings for Annie were anything but ordered or logical. He wanted to keep her safe, to be her protector, but he had known even without Joan’s unsolicited advice that Annie was always going to be her own woman. It was up to him to prove to her that he would be enough and that they would get through whatever got thrown at them.

So when Annie left for Istanbul the next morning, Auggie didn’t say much. He simply took her into his arms at his door and kissed her with everything he had, lifting her into his arms and pressing her to the wall beside the door.

“I’ll check in from the airport,” Annie assured him as they broke apart, her breathless voice music to Auggie’s ears. “And from the hotel. Do I have a water view again?”

“You had better.”

“You’re amazing.”

“Don’t I know it.”

“Very funny.”

“Be safe, Annie.” Auggie reluctantly let her go, fighting the urge to pull her back into the apartment. Surely, someone else could take over the Istanbul op, couldn’t they? Annie wasn’t the only one who had access to the case. Wouldn’t it be much better for them to board a flight together, away from the agency and the pull on their time together?

Auggie sighed, knowing full well that was an impossible dream. He contented himself with a promise to look into possible getaways once he got to the office, shoving down his lingering anxiety.

 


	10. In Which Turkey Is More Than A Bird

10\. In Which Turkey Is More Than A Bird

* * *

 

The flight to Istanbul was one of those moments Annie sat back and thought to herself, _Damn, I’ve got a great job._ Instead of squeezing into a seat in coach between two oversized businessmen, she was comfortably seated on a private jet. Her chair was plush, she had plenty of legroom, and the luxury of studying classified documents enroute. She even managed to grab a quick nap.

Istanbul presented itself hot, the air shimmering as Annie stepped out of the airport. It was a loud city, and as she looked around, the curious history of the Turkish was already making itself known. The influences of East and West were at constant war in the city, in architecture, language, food and its people. It was by no means a vacation, but Annie was looking forward to sampling the local fare and wandering the street markets in her spare time. Auggie had given her a long list of cafes, restaurants and other assorted places to check out in her down time, and though she figured there wouldn’t be much of it, a recommendation from Auggie was worth a hike across town.

She had only been to Istanbul once before, but it had been a stopover on her way elsewhere. Auggie, however, had been year after year for the jazz festival every summer and been more than happy to tell her anything she could have wanted to know. With a shiver, she remembered his last trip and the way his voice had sounded when he told her good-bye. Auggie never said good-bye on phone calls. It had frustrated Annie to no end for the longest time, but she understood now. She never wanted to hear him say those words again.

Auggie had put her up in the hotel he usually stayed in, and as Annie took in the view and the deep soaking tub, she was grateful once again. Her meet with Adrian wasn’t scheduled until the next day, but it was already evening in Turkey. Just enough time to have a long bath, find some food, and snatch a few more hours sleep before the op went live.

“Get lost on your way?” Auggie wasn’t really a fan of hellos either.

“No, admiring the view.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Thank you, Auggie,” Annie replied in a singsong voice, unable to stop the laughter from bubbling up. “I see why you like it here so much. It’s beautiful.”

“It’s too bad you just missed the jazz festival. If it was still going on, I may have had to sneak on that plane with you.”

“Just for the jazz, right?” Annie couldn’t help but tease. She had heard the hidden message in his words, heard it loud and clear. She closed her eyes, letting herself imagine just for a moment what it would be like to be in the city with Auggie on vacation instead of as part of a mission. Maybe next summer they could come back and enjoy the festival together. She could practically see his face light up being immersed in his element.

“Why, is there anything better than jazz to be found in Istanbul these days?”

“Auggie!”

He laughed, and Annie could all but see the pleased expression on his face. She imagined him leaning back in his chair, arms folded behind his head as he talked to her. She sighed, wishing that he was there.

“All right, Walker, here’s the game plan. You have the protocol. Tomorrow you meet your contact in the open air market three blocks south of the hotel. Spend the day there laying down your cover, but keep your eyes open. The chatter we’re picking up indicates the men you’re after are already in the city.”

“I studied the file. I know what they look like.”

“Keep your distance. This is surveillance only, Annie.”

“I know.”

“Do not go after them alone. There’s an ops team in the area. If you need back up, you call it in.”

“Auggie....”

“No, Annie. You have fantastic instincts, and that makes you a great operative. But you can’t go off book this time. Follow protocol.”

Annie sighed, gave him her assurances she would play it safe and told him to go home. She left unsaid that she knew damn well Auggie would be pulling long shifts once surveillance began. She knew he would catch naps on a couch in the office rather than go home. But as much as she hated knowing the toll it took on him, she was grateful that Auggie was going to be there every step of the way.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you this before you left,” Auggie added, right when she thought he was about to hang up. “Joan knows. I signed the paperwork yesterday. She’s got it ready for you when you come back.”

“That was fast.”

“That’s Joan.” Auggie paused, and when he spoke again, his voice has lost the pointed quality it had carried throughout their conversation. “Just how much vacation time do you have?”

“Well, I’ll get some time off after this. Plus I have a few weeks stashed. Why?”

“How attached were you to going to Virginia Beach?”

“Not at all. It was just the closet place I could think of.”

“Good answer.” And then he was gone. Annie shook her head, tossing the phone down on the bed next to her.  Whatever Auggie was up to, she knew she should just let him have his fun, as tempting as it was to try to figure it out.

What she really wanted to know was how Joan had found them out so quickly. She knew her boss was smart, and she had seen her in the field. Those years behind a desk hadn’t made Joan any less effective. Had Auggie said something that had tipped her off?

Not that it really mattered. Annie smiled, getting up to run the water for her bath. Now that Joan did know, it just meant she could be a little less guarded when talking to Auggie on the company phone. Not that Annie was the type to truly reveal her feelings in a public forum, but it was nice to know the occasional cheeky remark wouldn’t be overanalyzed to death.

~*~

Annie was dangerously close to being bored. Auggie had made such a big deal over the op, but so far nothing had happened. She spent her days wandering the markets, using her art background to purchase pieces here and there for her cover. The antiques shop in Georgetown was a front, sure, but it still made an occasional sale.

With nothing to report, she hadn’t talked to Auggie all that much either. The men she was to follow had yet to appear, though all the chatter in the world seemed to imply they were around. Annie was growing frustrated, her contact wasn’t entirely helpful, and she was beginning to wonder if there was even anything going on in Istanbul.

“Are you sure the intel we got from Adrian was even accurate? Maybe they moved the meet. Or decided to lay low after Adrian’s father died? Maybe they figured it out.” Annie blew out a breath of air, sliding off her pumps and wincing as she rubbed her toes. She loved her shoes, but the uneven Turkish streets and long hours were starting to make her wish for a pair of sneakers. Of course, Annie’s ditzy cover personality wouldn’t be caught dead in a pair of sneakers, so heels it would be.

“Satellite imaging has picked them up in the city, but we keep losing them.” Auggie sounded frustrated. Tired and frustrated. It was a bad combination. Annie felt bad for his team already.

“They have to have a safe house near the markets, then. And what do we know about this contact? Emir seems nice, but he’s not giving me anything.” Other than the first meet with Adrian, Annie had been spending her days trailing the weapons dealer turned merchant turned asset.

“Emir Deniz has been a long term asset for the Middle Eastern desk. Patience, Annie.”

“Something isn’t right, Auggie.”

“I know you’re frustrated...”

“I am! But it’s more than that. I don’t think Emir’s being as helpful as he could be.”

There was a lengthy pause. “You think he’s not on our side anymore?”

“I think he’s stalling. What I don’t know is why. Maybe someone got to him?”

“Is there any chance he’s burned you?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m telling Joan to pull you. If you’ve been burned, you can’t stay there, Annie.”

“I’m not leaving!”

“That’s not your decision.”

Auggie hung up before she could argue anymore. He sighed, pulling off his headphones and leaning back in his chair with a wince. Annie sounded bored, but she also sounded suspicious. Auggie knew where that led – Annie taking off on her own. Emir had been grating on his nerves, but he wasn’t there. He wasn’t seeing what Annie was. The Middle Eastern desk had assured him Emir was vetted, but Auggie was losing patience. Now it seemed they might have bigger problems.

Downing another few gulps of his energy drink, Auggie reached for the laser cane and made his way to Joan’s office. “Joan, got a minute?” he asked as he pushed open her door.

“Sure, Auggie.”

“I just got off the phone with Annie. I’m worried. Emir isn’t as helpful as we might have hoped. Annie thinks he may be compromised.”

“Did she say that?”

“Not in so many words.”

“What did she say, Auggie?”

“She thinks he’s stalling. That maybe someone got to him.”

Joan was silent. Auggie didn’t say anything further, grasping the edge of her desk as he leaned over. He wished he could see her expression – was she staring at him in doubt? Or was Joan’s mind moving a mile a minute on a plan to get Annie out of Istanbul?

“You want to pull her out,” she finally said flatly.

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Joan –“

“No. My operative, Auggie, not yours. My decision. The answer is no. Annie hasn’t asked to be pulled, and we don’t have any proof Emir’s dirty. Annie’s been there for over two weeks. No one likes waiting around. Let’s give it a few more days.”

“In a few more days we may not be able to get her out.”

“Do you have any proof?”

“No.”

“Do we have anything credible on the wire?” Joan’s tone was growing progressively sharper.

“No, ma’am.”

“Then for now, we keep going.” Joan sighed. Auggie heard her moving, but was surprised to feel her hand on his shoulder. “I know this isn’t easy.” Auggie shrugged her hand off, heading for the door without a word. He didn’t want Joan’s sympathy. He didn’t want to hear he was getting emotional because it was Annie. He wanted her pulled the hell out of Istanbul. He’d had a bad feeling about the damn trip from the start, and Auggie’s instincts were rarely wrong.

He swore as he fell back into his chair, seriously contemplating the bottle of Patrone in his drawer. Not easy was an understatement. Auggie had had moments over the course of his life since the explosion where his blindness had rendered him helpless, and he hadn’t liked those one damn bit. But this was worse. This was Annie. If he still had his sight, he could be there with her, in the field.

If he still had his sight, he probably never would have met her. He certainly wouldn’t have been waiting to bring her into the DPD on her first day. Most likely, he would have still been in Iraq, or elsewhere in the Middle East with his Special Forces unit. Which would have put him much closer to Istanbul...where he could pass her on the street and have no idea who she was.

Another string of curses followed.

Annie was letting loose her own string of curses in her hotel room. She punched the pillows, wanting to reach through the phone and strangle Auggie. Who the hell did he think he was, telling her it wasn’t her decision? He wasn’t Joan.

Luckily, by the next afternoon, it had become clear Joan wasn’t on Auggie’s page. Annie was still in Istanbul, and her phone had been silent. Nothing from Joan. Nothing from Auggie.

Annie was tired of waiting. If Emir wouldn’t help her, she would help herself. Her weeks spent in his company had revealed plenty. He wasn’t particularly clever. He had routines. Annie was fairly certain spying on an asset who was supposed to be helping her was against protocol, but the nagging feeling in her gut wouldn’t shake.   

Which was how she found herself tailing Emir through yet another market. Only this time, he didn’t know she was there. Annie had traded her tight pencil skirt and heels for backpacker gear – olive khakis, boots, and a tank. Her goal was to look like a tourist, and as she snapped photos of the people Emir stopped to talk to along the way, she held her breath he wouldn’t notice her. Backpackers were a dime a dozen in the city, so why should he?

There was nothing overly suspicious in Emir’s activities that afternoon, but Annie wasn’t satisfied. Just because she didn’t recognize the faces didn’t mean that everything was on the up and up. “I’m emailing some photos to you. I need you to run them through the facial recognition database,” Annie said as soon as Auggie picked up.

“Who have you been taking photos of? Did you locate the targets? You should have called it in.” 

“I followed Emir today.”

There was a pause and a sigh on the other end of the line. “Did you find anything?”

“No. But you haven’t run the photos yet.” Annie hung up before he could say anything further. She wasn’t in the mood to have a verbal battle with Auggie over the wisdom of her afternoon. Auggie’s disapproval wasn’t entirely new, but usually he got onboard and helped her. She had known putting it on the table with him would change things, but Annie had thought it would change more of where she slept and less of how she conducted her ops.

When her phone rang in the middle of the night, Annie jerked herself awake. She hadn’t even said hello before Auggie was talking.

“The men in the photos are not casual acquaintances. They all have ties to terrorist groups. I’ve had the Middle Eastern desk look into it further for me. I don’t know how we missed it earlier. It seems Emir is shopping around access.” His voice was cold, an edge to every word. “Annie, you need to get out of there. Now. An ops team is in place to get Emir. Your mission is over.”

“But...”

“I’ve already cleared it with Joan. Get yourself to the airport. Leave the bag. We’ll have the team get it. We have reason to believe Emir might be getting ready to try something.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay,” she repeated, already flinging clothes into her bag. The adrenaline surge had her wide awake, heart pounding. With the phone cradled to her shoulder, Annie pulled on her pants quickly. “I’ll be ready to go in five minutes.”

His tone had softened when he spoke again. “You did good, Walker. Now get out of there.”

Annie smiled as she hung up, shoving the phone in her pocket. She grabbed for the pile of shoes in the bottom of the small closet, tossing them on top of her bag. Taking a deep breath, looking around the room for anything she had missed, Annie did a mental inventory of her things. Satisfied she had everything, she shoved the bag back into the closet. Her passport and some cash went into her bra.

Moving into the hall, Annie kept her back to the wall and told herself she would be back in DC soon. Auggie had planned a vacation for them. They could get away from the agency, from the pressures in DC, and spend a week on a beach somewhere figuring things out.

She was half a block down from the hotel when she felt it – the distinct sensation of a gun pressed to her back. “Keep walking,” a man’s voice growled in her ear. A quick glance around revealed they were alone, the streets dark. Dawn was still hours off, and Annie cursed her luck.

Keeping her steps even, she kept walking. The voice sounded familiar, but she was having a hard time placing why. It wasn’t Emir, which was both a relief and a worry. Emir, she knew she could have taken out easily. But whoever was behind her moved much too purposefully.

Annie reminded herself she had been in positions worse than this. She kept her breathing even and filled her thoughts with how it had felt to finally be in Auggie’s arms. It gave her the calm she needed. She remembered the searing kiss he had given her before she had left, and she wanted another. Annie was determined to get back to DC, back to her family – back to Auggie.

Putting on her best scared-little-girl voice, Annie began to babble. She knew it wouldn’t work. Anyone who had managed to sneak up on her was a professional. But she had to get a better idea of what she was dealing with. She had to get them talking, and hopefully, distracted. “I don’t know what you want. I don’t have any money. I’m just out for a walk. Please let me go.”

The man behind her shoved the gun into her back, hard. “Shut up.” His hand reached out, jerking her shoulder back and shoving her into an alley. “Get down on the ground.”

Annie knew if she did as she was told, it was over. With her hands out at her sides, she stopped, but didn’t move toward the ground. Her pulse was thumping in her ears but her clarity hadn’t faded. “Please, I don’t have anything.”

“You’re right, Annie. You don’t. No friends. No team. No CIA.” A heavy boot landed in the middle of her back, shoving her forward and nearly to the ground. Annie wasn’t sure if the crunching sound she heard was an invention of the pain or her bones breaking. “Now, _get down._ ”

And just like that, the voice clicked. “Adrian?” Annie gritted her teeth against the throbbing in her chest. She took her breaths quick and shallow, trying not to move too much in case her ribs were broken. It felt like they were. “Adrian, you don’t have to do this.”

“Not up for debate.” Behind her, Annie heard the click of the safety being removed from the gun. “My father died because of you and the CIA.”

“The CIA didn’t kill your father. The people you’re working with did.”

“They wouldn’t have bothered him if the CIA had stayed out of his life.”

“What do you think they’re going to do to you when you’re no longer useful?”

“I’ll be long gone.”

“If they don’t find you, the CIA will.”

“Maybe, one day. But I promise, Annie, they won’t find you.”

By the retort, Annie knew any room for negotiation was gone. She spun around, grabbing for his wrist. The gun went off, a deafening blast that made her ears ring, but she avoided the shot, squeezing her eyes shut against the spray of brick. Shoving Adrian back while he was off guard, Annie put her full weight into the attack, slamming his arm against the wall until he dropped the gun. Kicking it away, she ducked from his lunge, but the searing pain in her ribs made her vision dance. The hesitation was enough for Adrian to grab her in a chokehold.

Her lungs began to burn as he cut off her air supply. _Focus,_ she told herself, fighting the rising panic of not being able to breathe. Adrian was behind her, using the wall of the alley for support as he tried to choke the life from her. Lifting one boot, she stomped on his right foot as hard as she could. In surprise, he let go long enough for her to greedily suck in the oxygen her lungs needed. Then she was moving again, darting for the gun she had kicked away.

The coolness of the metal in her hand, Annie spun and fired, no hesitation, just like Auggie had told her. Adrian dropped to the ground, and Annie almost sagged with relief. She wanted to go to pieces. How many lives would she have to take? But there was no time. The airport, she had to get to the airport. How to explain the blood, the ripped clothes?

Annie reached into her pocket, praying her phone had survived the falls and shoves against the bricks. Limping away through the darkness, she could hear approaching sirens. Someone had heard the gunshots; the police were on their way.

Missed calls, three of them. Annie swore, dialing Langley as she forced herself to keep moving. “Where the hell are you?” Auggie demanded, the line barely completing one ring. “I’ve been calling. We found Emir, dead.”

“Adrian.”

“How did you know?”

“He found me.” Annie coughed, her breathing still coming with some difficulty from Adrian’s attack. Looking down at her hand, she saw the unmistakable coloring of blood. “I got away. Shot him.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah...I think a few ribs are broken.”

“Where are you?”

“Not sure. Maybe eight blocks south of the hotel.”

“I’m sending the team for you.”

“I’ll be fine, Auggie. I just need to find a cab.”

“You sound like you’re about to collapse. You have broken ribs and a cough. Are you coughing up blood?”

Annie winced, looking down at her hand. Ducking into another alley, she paused, leaning back against the wall and struggling to breathe. “Yes.”

“One of the ribs has probably punctured your lung.” He sounded so clinical, detached. Not at all the Auggie she knew. Tears burned in her eyes, the burning in her chest getting worse. “I’m tracking you by the GPS in your phone. Keep talking to me, Annie. The ops team will be there soon.”

“Auggie, I can keep moving.”

“The more you move, the more you risk tearing that lung open. Stay put.”

Annie leaned back against the wall, taking shallow breaths. She felt so stupid for having missed Adrian’s duplicity. “Auggie, I’m sorry. I should have noticed in Venice that something was off.”

“Don’t go down that road. You’re not to blame.”

“Joan is going to have my head on a platter.”

“Joan wants you to get home alive.” There was a tremor in his voice. Annie could hear his breathing, ragged like hers. “I need you to stay with me, Annie. They’re five minutes out.”

“Okay, I’m not moving. No one will be able to see me from the street. It’s still dark.”

“Good.” He sounded relieved, but Annie could tell by his breathing that Auggie was fighting panic as much as she was. Had Annie really come through all her scrapes to suffocate on her own blood in a dark alley?

“Annie!” Auggie’s voice cut through the haze of her thoughts, the worry in his voice impossible to miss. “Annie, keep talking.”

“What do you want to talk about?” she asked, leaning forward to get a look at the street. If someone came for her, she had to be prepared. Why had she dropped the gun? It would have made her feel a lot better with it still in her hand.

“Anything.”

“Danielle is going to kill me.”

“We’ll deal with your sister when you get back.” Annie liked the way he said _we_. Maybe Danielle would lay off if Annie showed up bandaged with Auggie in tow. She couldn’t stay angry forever, especially once Annie told her about how things stood with Auggie.

“She likes you. You tell her what happened. She won’t yell at you.”

“I don’t know about that. You didn’t see her the few times she came down to the Smithsonian looking for you before you read her in. She was giving some of those security guards a serious grilling.”

“Danielle can be rather persuasive when she sets her mind to it.” Annie laughed, which quickly turned to a cough. She spat out a mouthful of blood, fighting to keep her breathing shallow once more.

“Annie?”

“I’m fine.”

“I’m getting them to you as fast as I can.”

“I know, Auggie.” She fell silent again, concentrating on breathing. The city was quiet, but every now and then she could hear the distant sounds of life. A dog barking, a door slamming, the engine of a car. The air had cooled, an ocean breeze making the temperature very nearly pleasant. If you weren’t struggling to breathe, anyway.

“So where are you taking me when I get back?” she started again, knowing she had to keep talking. If she kept talking, she couldn’t pass out. Passing out would be dangerous. Who knew what would find her in that dark alley if she couldn’t keep her eyes open?

“It’s a surprise.”

“I hope it’s someplace with a beach,” she mumbled, squeezing her eyes shut against the pain. She wanted to gulp down the air, but knew no matter how hard she tried, she would keep feeling like she was suffocating.

“Of course. I happen to know that you enjoy walking around in a bikini.”

“Don’t get too excited, Anderson. Not like you’ll be able to enjoy it.”

“I think I’ll find a way.”

Annie didn’t have a reply. Her vision was blacking in and out, and there were too many things she wanted to say to him. She wanted to tell him she was in love with him. She wanted to tell him he was the most amazing man she had ever met, that his strength kept her moving in her darkest hours. She wanted to tell him she didn’t care if they didn’t leave his apartment, where everything was set up just so and he was comfortable. She just wanted to be with him.

But saying any of it was admitting defeat. It was admitting this was their final conversation, and Annie knew how Auggie felt about goodbyes. She forced her eyes open, forced herself to keep drawing one ragged breath after another.

“They should be there in another minute, Annie.” Auggie’s voice in her ear tethered her back to reality, soft, even. It was a direct contrast to his ragged breathing.

“I think I hear them,” Annie mumbled, struggling to lean away from the wall. She heard the unmistakable sound of a soldier’s boots on the hard-packed road, but she didn’t reveal her location yet. It could just as easily be Adrian’s friends, come to finish what he started. Or worse, cops.

“It’s a five-man team. Carver is running it. They’re going to get you to the airfield. There’s a plane standing by with a med team.”

“Wherever I wake up, I want you to be there.”

“Wouldn’t dream of not being there.”

“Thanks, Auggie,” she whispered, her head falling back against the bricks. She could hear their voices now, American voices. Auggie’s team had found her. She was going home. Their footsteps filled the alley, a flashlight in her face that made her squint.

“Annie Walker?”

“That’s me...”

“Danny Carver. Anderson says you got a plane to catch.”

Annie laughed, which promptly set off a coughing fit. Carver took the phone from her gently as he gestured to the others to get her out of the alley. “We got her, Auggie. Banged up, but she’s breathing. We got her.”

“Get her home.” Auggie disconnected, sagging with relief in his chair. He slid the headphones off his neck, staring off in what he assumed was Joan’s direction. “They’ve got her,” he repeated. He didn’t have to. Joan had heard the entire conversation. Auggie felt her hand on his shoulder, the light touch of concern.

“They’ll assess from the airfield. They may take her to Landstuhl if she needs surgery.”

“I know. I haven’t been there since...” Auggie trailed off, not wanting to go down memory lane with Joan. She knew when he had been there last. He didn’t need to rehash it. “I need to get to the airfield.”

“We don’t know she’s going there yet. They may bring her straight back here.”

“You heard her, Joan. Annie’s good at playing hurt. She sounded...I’ve never heard her sound like that.”

Joan studied him for a long moment, the tense posture, the tight grip on the arms of his chair. The look on his face made her nervous. She remembered that look – it was the one he had worn when Arthur had told him to cut ties with Natasha. Determined. Ready to tell Joan to fuck right off if he didn’t like the next words out of her mouth.

Putting one hand over his, she nodded. “I’ll call the airfield and tell them you’re on your way.”

 


	11. In Which The Game Changes

11\. In Which The Game Changes

* * *

 

It had been barely twelve hours since Auggie had hung up the phone with Carver, but he felt as though he had lived through the years in Iraq all over again. The horrifyingly familiar scent of the hospital surrounded him, the noises he had come to loathe echoing endlessly. The whisper of rubber soles on tile, the heavy stomp of soldiers’ boots, the beeping of machinery, it all combined into a deafening cacophony of noise.

Getting to Germany had thankfully been less of a nightmare than he had imagined. All it took was Joan’s well-placed phone call to land Auggie a seat on the morning’s first flight to the base directly. He had been in military hands the entire way, no busy airports to navigate. She had made him promise to keep her updated on Annie’s condition, but so far, he had nothing to go on. Annie was in surgery, where she had been for more than three hours. Auggie wasn’t a doctor, and he only barely understood what little the nurses would tell him, but he was getting tired of waiting around.

And though he would never admit it, he was also getting scared. Three hours in surgery was a long time. The explosion that had taken his sight should have killed him, and he knew he had been in surgery after surgery following the accident, but Auggie’s survival had been unexpected to say the least. He didn’t want to apply those odds to Annie.

“Auggie Anderson, man, you look like shit!” Out of nowhere, a booming voice was right in front of him, a hand clapping him on the shoulder. Auggie couldn’t help but smile at Danny Carver, worried over Annie or not.

“Nice to see you too, Danny.”

“See me? Those spooks manage to fix up your eyes without you telling anyone?”

“Very funny.” Auggie held out the red and white cane clutched in his right hand. “Still as blind as ever. But you’re the only guy I know who walks around a hospital telling people they look like shit.”

Carver threw his head back and laughed. Auggie smiled, momentarily going back to his days as a wounded soldier with a chip on his shoulder. Carver had been in some of Auggie’s physical therapy groups, having taken a knife to the back during a raid on an Iraqi compound about the time Auggie had been getting blown up in Tikrit. The doctors had made grim predictions about Carver’s chances at walking normally ever again, never mind getting well enough to go back on active duty. But those doctors hadn’t known the man. Danny Carver shared a stubborn streak with Auggie that ran a mile wide. The two men had become friends, and when it had come time to pick the Special Forces team to back up Annie, Auggie had gone to the man he knew he could trust.

But as the laughter quieted, both men grew sober. Auggie felt the cushions move next to him on the rock hard couch he had been occupying. “She’s a fighter, that one.”

“Yeah.” Auggie couldn’t say anything else. Talking about Annie made his throat feel tight and his eyes burn. He needed her to come out of surgery and be fine.

“Have they told you anything?”

“She’s still in surgery.”

“She’s going to pull through.”

Auggie didn’t say anything, bending his head and resting his elbows on his knees again as he struggled to hold it together. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t lose Annie now, not when things between them seemed to have finally gotten to a good place. After the months of fighting and tension, they were supposed to be celebrating their new relationship on a tropical beach. Instead, Auggie was sitting in a waiting room inside an overly air-conditioned hospital. It was cold enough to be a morgue.

The typical man in Auggie’s position would only grow more despondent as his thoughts drifted to the morgue, but Auggie couldn’t help grinning at the memory. He had only just met Annie, but he had helped her break into the morgue all the same. Damn, that floor had been cold.

“What’re you grinning at?”

“Memories,” Auggie said simply, leaning back on the hard couch and closing his eyes. “Annie got me to break into a morgue her first week on the job. She lifted a fingerprint with a Listerine strip to get us in. I remember thinking to myself that she was going to be an amazing agent.”

“Just an agent?”

“Carver...”

“I got it, Auggie. It’s written all over your face. She’s a lucky girl.”

“No, I’m the lucky one. Annie is...Annie is more than I could have ever even dreamed up.”

“I’ll pray for her. For both of you.” Carver clapped him on the shoulder once more, his meaty hand a surprising comfort. Auggie listened to the sound of his boots fade away into the rest of the hospital rush, his eyes closed. He was exhausted and going on day three without sleep. He had been too keyed up to sleep on the plane, and now the anxiety of waiting was only making it worse. Rationally, he knew he needed to at least catch a few hours, but the thought of being asleep when Annie woke up was unacceptable.

Thankfully, it wasn’t much longer before a nurse came to talk to him. Annie was out of surgery and recovering in post-op. The doctor would be out to speak to him shortly, and he would be able to see Annie once they moved her into her room. Auggie didn’t like that answer much – he wanted to be with her right away, but he knew better than to fight. The military loved their protocols almost as much as the agency. Besides, Annie wasn’t even awake yet.

He sent a quick text to Joan to let her know that Annie was at least out of surgery and then resumed his anxious wait. Somewhere in that god forsaken hospital, Annie was lying alone in a bed, broken. It was killing him to sit in the waiting room, disoriented, lost in the vast hospital. He had spent time there following the accident, but he had been so new to his suddenly dark world that he couldn’t remember really anything about the place. Not for the first time since Annie had boarded her flight for Istanbul, a crushing sense of helplessness invaded his soul.

If he’d had his sight, he would already be with her, the doctors and nurses be damned. If only he could see, Auggie knew he would find Annie.

 _Already been down that path_ , he told himself, tapping his foot anxiously on the floor as people continued to shuffle by him without a word on Annie. _If you could see, you wouldn’t have Annie. Be grateful for what you do have and stop wishing for what you don’t._ It was a familiar refrain in his mind, a constant mantra required to survive the bitterness and anger that came along with recovering.

The next thing he knew, there was a soft touch on his shoulder and a woman’s voice repeating his name over and over again. Auggie’s eyes flew open by habit, blinking away the sleep from his unseeing eyes. “Auggie Anderson?” the voice asked again, close, too close.

“Yes, that’s me.” He reached for his cane, snapping it open and forcing himself to stand. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep and fumbled for his watch. How long had he been out?

“Annie Walker is asking to see you.”

“She’s awake? Why didn’t anyone get me!” Auggie wanted to push past the nurse, to tear down the hall and find Annie. But he still didn’t know where she was, and terrifying the nurse wasn’t going to get him to her any faster. Screwing up the last bit of patience he could muster, Auggie took a deep breath. “Where is she?”

“Would you like me to take you there?” The nurse grabbed his arm before he could answer, and Auggie again shoved down the building frustration. He wanted Annie, Annie who never presumed, who let him do things on his own time, who treated him like he wasn’t somehow less of a man without his sight. But he needed the nurse, so he simply nodded and let her pull him down the hall like a child.

The steady beeping of the heart monitor told Auggie they had arrived right before his knees bumped into a chair. “She’s asleep again,” the nurse whispered to Auggie as he took a seat. “The morphine...”

“Thank you,” Auggie cut in, not wanting to hear about the drugs they were pumping her full of or the pain she was sure to be in upon waking. He wanted to nurse to go away so he could find Annie’s hand and hold it.

“There’s an IV in her hand. Be careful you don’t...”

“I’ve been in a hospital before,” he snapped before he could help himself. Being treated like an invalid was nothing new, but when all he wanted was to be strong for Annie, it was the last thing he could tolerate. “I know.”

That seemed to shut her up, and Auggie listened as her footsteps hurried away. The click of the door shutting cut off the noise of the hallway, and Auggie thankfully let out the breath he had been holding.

The chair beside Annie’s bed was a good deal more comfortable than the waiting room had been, and her room was warmer. Auggie thankfully shrugged off his jacket, neatly folding up the cane and tucking it inside. Reaching out tentatively, he located the rails of the hospital bed, tracing the cool metal until he felt the rough sheets of the bed. Careful of knocking any of the monitors or IV lines, Auggie scooted closer, his hand falling on Annie’s lightly. Her skin was cool, but Auggie could feel her pulse beating in her wrist. The heart monitor beeping told the same story, but somehow, Auggie hadn’t really believed it until he could feel the beat of her heart for himself.

Keeping one hand on the rail to keep his bearings, Auggie stood, gently running his hand up Annie’s arm. The hospital gown felt harsh under his fingers, but not as harsh as the gauze bandages he kept finding. Her neck was swollen, and Auggie’s exploration found a bump behind her left temple. For perhaps the first time, Auggie found himself truly grateful he couldn’t see her. It would break his heart, he was certain of it, to see her bruised and beaten.

Auggie didn’t consider himself an emotional man. Long years in the military, and longer years spent forcing himself to deal with his new lot in life, those had taught him to push down emotions that would do him no good. It was how he had stayed away from Annie all those months since Stockholm, not wanting to admit that even with the burn of Parker’s rejection, he still wanted Annie Walker. But sitting beside her bed, gently twisting his fingers through hers, it was a struggle to keep all the emotions he was feeling in check. He told himself that it was the lack of sleep, the stress of the last day, but the truth was, Auggie was trying very hard not to cry out of sheer relief that Annie was alive.

Annie’s fingers moving jolted him out of his thoughts, and he pulled the chair closer to the bed. Her voice sounded awful as she muttered his name, but her fingertips brushing his cheek felt like heaven.

“I’m here, Annie,” he murmured, turning his head to lightly kiss her fingers. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Where are we?”

“Germany. You needed surgery. I’ll talk to Joan in a bit, find out when you can fly home.”

“Danielle is going to kill me.”

“We haven’t told her yet,” Auggie admitted, tightening his grip on Annie’s hand. He wanted to tell her it had been a purposeful effort to keep her from getting upset when they didn’t know anything, but the fact of the matter was that Auggie simply hadn’t thought about it. He had been far too wrapped up in getting to Annie’s side. Maybe Joan had talked to Danielle. Auggie added that on to his list of questions for his boss.

“Probably for the best.”

“I can call her, too, if you want.”

“Yeah...later. When we know when we’re going back. The girls...she couldn’t come here, anyway.”

“You know we could make it happen if you wanted it to.”

“I know.”

Annie’s touch traced his cheek again, and his eyes slid closed as he felt her fingers trace the bags under his eyes. “How long have you been up this time?”

“About twenty minutes. The nurse woke me up. I’m sorry, Annie, I wanted to be here when you woke up...”

“Not what I meant. I’m glad you got some sleep. How long?”

“Since I told you I wanted you pulled out of Istanbul, before you went off book in the market.”

“That was days ago.”

“I caught a few naps in the office.”

“You need sleep. Real sleep. Not ten minutes here or there.”

“I’ll sleep later. With you. In some hotel with a balcony overlooking the ocean.”

“I’d settle for right here, right now.”

“They’ll throw me out.”

“Since when has that stopped you?” Auggie felt the metal rail of the bed fall away under his arm, and Annie’s weak tug on his arm propelled him to his feet.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he told her, tentatively sitting on the edge of the bed. “Your ribs...”

“I’ll tell you if it hurts. Please, Auggie. Whatever they’ve got me on, I’m just so tired, but I want...” Her words trailed off, half-garbled with sleep. Her plea was enough, and Auggie kicked off his sneakers before cautiously laying on his side behind Annie, picking the side without tubes. Carefully wrapping his arm around her waist, he held his breath, waiting for her sharp intake of breath or cry of pain. It didn’t come. Annie simply leaned back into him, the hand without the IV line jabbed into it reaching for his. They were both asleep in seconds.

A nurse woke him hours later, a hint of disapproval in her voice as she shook him awake. “Mr. Anderson, you really can’t be doing this,” she said sternly as Auggie carefully laid Annie back down on the bed. She was still out, but sighed as he released her. The tiny noise made Auggie want to tell the nurse exactly what he thought of her disapproval.

“She could have died,” was the only explanation he provided as he moved to the chair by her bed.

Auggie could hear the rustling of sheets as the nurse moved around, the hushed noise of her sneakers on the tiles. She cleared her throat, and Auggie nearly growled with frustration. He had a feeling the nurse was staring at him, waiting for some kind of acknowledgement, but he had no idea what she wanted.

“Mr. Anderson, you need to step out. We have to change Annie’s bandages. You can’t be here.”

Auggie laughed humorlessly, fishing out his cane and waving it in what he hoped was her general direction. “What do you think I’m going to see?”

“Regardless, you cannot be in the room. Hospital policy.”

“It’s a stupid policy.”

“Please step out into the hall, Mr. Anderson. It will only take a few minutes, and then you can come back. As long as you promise to stay out of Ms. Walker’s bed,” the nurse tacked on, any hint of sympathy void from her voice.

Auggie mumbled a noncommittal response, grabbing his cell phone and shuffling toward the hall. That nurse could say whatever she wanted, but if Annie asked for him to lie down next to her and hold her, that was what he was going to do. The medical staff could go straight to hell as far as Auggie was concerned. Annie was all that mattered.

Checking his watch, he realized he had gotten a solid four hours of sleep. It hadn’t been nearly enough, but he did feel better. Not good enough for the phone calls he had to make, but better.

With a sigh, he dialed Joan first. That would be the easier of the two calls. Auggie was pretty sure she knew more about Annie’s situation than he did, having foregone the chat with the doctor to go straight to Annie’s side.

“I was wondering when you would get around to checking in,” Joan greeted him, a hint of reproach in her voice. “How’s our girl?”

“Tougher than we ever give her credit for,” Auggie replied, leaning back against the wall. “I haven’t actually talked to the doctor, though. She seems okay. They’ve got her pretty drugged up.”

“She did just have surgery.”

“I know. What’d they tell you? You probably know more than I do.”

“It was what you thought. When that bastard kicked her, he broke some ribs. One went into her lung. They managed to set the bones and repair her lung. She should be fine.”

“How long until she can go home?”

“It’s up to Annie. They need her to stay at least another night there so they can keep an eye on her, but she’s okay to come back to the States after that. She’ll need physical therapy, and it’s going to be awhile before she can come back to work, but at least she’ll be home. She’s out of the field for at least two or three months.”

“That’s going to make her crazy.”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to distract her.”

“Very funny, Joan.” Auggie smiled anyway. Yes, if he had his way, he would be able to keep Annie out of trouble while she healed. He was more than happy to take care of her. Danielle already had her hands full with her kids.

_Speaking of..._

“Has anyone called Danielle?”

Joan sighed. “No, we haven’t. I was hoping, seeing as how she already knows you, or maybe now that Annie is awake...”

“I’ll call her. She’s going to be angry enough we didn’t tell her when it happened.”

“Thanks, Auggie. Let me know if you need anything. When Annie is ready to come home, we’ll send a company plane. I don’t want her flying commercial with broken ribs.”

“Will do.” Auggie disconnected the call, squeezing his eyes shut. One call down, one to go. Not that the call with Joan had been all that bad. It had been what he expected. Annie was out of the field for the foreseeable future, which wasn’t going to be welcome news. Selfishly, Auggie was glad he would get to spend more time with her, but he didn’t want it at the price of her unhappiness. He knew all too well how frustrating it was to have your body refuse to catch up to your mind.

He listened carefully, but the low murmur of the doctor’s voice was all that came through Annie’s door. They weren’t done with her yet, which meant he had plenty of time to call Danielle, however little he wanted to. Running his fingers over his watch, he realized it was very nearly getting to be too late to call.

Auggie’s breath caught in his throat when Danielle answered on the first ring. “Hello?” she demanded into the phone, sounding annoyed. “Listen, whoever you are, it’s after eight. This had better be good.”

“Danielle, it’s Auggie. Auggie Anderson, from Annie’s...from the Smithsonian,” he explained in a rush. “I’m sorry to call so late, but...”

“Is Annie okay?”

“Yes, she’s fine. She will be. There was an incident...”

“An incident? Is that what you people call it when you send my sister home beaten within an inch of her life? And you, Auggie, you of all people, just talking about her like...Never mind. Which hospital are you at? I’m coming down there.”

“She’s not in DC, Danielle. I’m sorry, I want to tell you more, but I can’t. You know I can’t.”

There was a long pause, and Auggie could hear the sniffles coming across the phone line. When Annie’s sister spoke again, her voice was thick. “Tell me what you can.”

“She was attacked outside her hotel. Broken ribs. One of them punctured her lung. She was in surgery for awhile, but the doctors say she’s going to be fine. We should be back in DC in a few days.”

“We? You’re with her?”

“Yes.”

“When did this happen?”

Auggie winced. “Last night.”

“Last night, as in, almost twenty four hours ago?”

“Yes.”

“And this is the first I’m hearing of it?”

“I’m sorry. The company is very strict about protocol.” Auggie chose his words carefully, praying Danielle would get it. He couldn’t have an argument with her standing in the hallway. It may have been a military hospital, but there were still people everywhere. He had no way of knowing if he was being listened to or not.

“I hate this, Auggie. I hate this job.”

“Annie loves it.”

“But don’t you worry about her?”

“Of course I worry about her!” Auggie practically shouted it into the phone. He was still exhausted, and he was frustrated as all hell with everything. Danielle, Joan, the doctors...all he wanted was to protect Annie. “I worry about her every minute of every day,” he added a little more calmly.

“You should tell her that.”

“I have.”

“Maybe that’s not all you need to tell her.”

“Annie didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what? I haven’t seen her in weeks. She told me she had to travel for business and she wasn’t sure how long it would take.” Danielle’s voice grew suspicious.

“I thought she told you.”

“No, Auggie. No one tells me a damn thing. Danielle is always the last to know everything.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...”

“It’s fine. Now what didn’t she tell me?”

“I...we...Annie and I...”

“Oh, finally!” Danielle’s laughter was a welcome sound. “Good for you guys. You’re so cute together.”

“Um, thanks.”

“If you hurt her again, I don’t care what kind of ninja shit you know, I’ll kill you myself,” Danielle went on cheerfully before Auggie could think of anything more intelligent to say.

“What do you mean, again? I would never...”

“You’re going to need to talk to Annie about that. When she’s better. Don’t upset her while she’s in a hospital. And I want to know the second you’re back in DC. The second, Auggie. Not two days later.”

“I’ll call you as soon as we know when we’re coming back.”

“You better.” Danielle hung up without another word. Auggie sighed, shoving the phone back into his pocket. Hopefully, by the time Danielle talked to Annie, she would be calmer. The last thing Annie needed was an earful from her sister. Of course, Danielle’s comment about him hurting Annie _again_ burrowed into his chest and lodged itself as a splinter of doubt in his heart. Annie had never told him that he had hurt her, but it didn’t take much mental digging to figure out when and where.

The nurses had made their way out of Annie’s room by the time Danielle had hung up on him, so Auggie returned to Annie’s side. “You okay?” he asked quietly, lacing his fingers through hers after settling into the chair.

“Yeah, I’m okay. The drugs are wearing off. Broken ribs hurt like a bitch.”

“I can call the nurse for you.”

“In a few. The painkillers make me fuzzy. I don’t like it.”

“Annie, there’s no reason to be tough. We’re in a hospital. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I want to go home, Auggie. I need to convince them I’m well enough to go home.”

“You just got out of major surgery. They’re not letting you go right away.” He paused, brushing his thumb against her wrist in what he hoped passed for soothing. “Besides, Danielle is a little pissed right now. It might be better if you’re not home for a few days.”

“You told her?”

“Yeah, I told her. More than I thought I was going to...why didn’t you tell your sister about us?” Auggie tried to keep the hurt out of his voice. It wasn’t really the time or place to be bringing it up, but he couldn’t help himself. Annie keeping their relationship from her sister filled him with doubts he knew he shouldn’t be having.

“I just...I was getting ready to leave for...and it was so new...” Annie squeezed his hand as hard as she could, hating the way his eyebrows furrowed. Her ribs hurt, and the temptation to call for more pain meds was high, but she didn’t want to go back to sleep. She wanted Auggie to put his arms around her again, to wake up back in Washington with him. “I’ve wanted this, wanted _you_ , for so long, and I guess I just wanted to keep it to myself for a little while. I had to wrap my head around you wanting me before I could tell anyone else.”

“Of course I want you, Annie.” His voice was rougher than Annie was used to, but he was out of his chair and leaning over her in a moment, pressing soft kisses against her forehead, her eyelids, her cheeks, before landing on her mouth. His touch was feather-light, and Annie wanted nothing more than to pull him down to the bed beside her once more. He pulled away before she could, the same old spark back in his warm eyes. “I want you as long as you’ll have me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I had fun writing it.
> 
> I didn't set out to write anything long, and while I know I could keep going, this is where I want to end it. I told the part of the story I was interested in telling. Here's hoping season 3 ends up with A&A together!


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